What? Had I heard this correct? Waking up from my slumber, I first couldn't believe my own ears! Feeling a bit irritated, I opened my eyes and glared at a bunch of young children who approached my newly bought house while discussing the bearded newcomer they hadn't seen here before. Who were these cheeky kids, and what did they want from this 'old man'? Although I normally loved working with children and always enjoyed their boundless enthusiasm and spontaneous honesty; this time, their unexpected forwardness about me being 'some ancient grandpa' caught me off guard. Ultimately, I was only sixty-five years old, while my inside felt much younger! Everybody else always told me I still looked relatively young, despite my grayish hair and neatly trimmed beard.

Glaring at my cheeky neighbors, I counted five young kids, three boys and two girls. When they saw that I opened my eyes, they abruptly stopped their bantering. Hesitantly, they went to the braided iron fence that surrounded my yard, and leaned against its closed gate. What did they want from me, and why did one of them call my newly bought abode 'Harry's house'? Although 'Harry' was my own first name, nobody in this small village could possibly know that. Perhaps, the deceased former owner of my house had been named 'Harry' as well, sort of an odd coincidence? Well, the former 'Harry' had left this house two months ago; although he did it involuntarily, by passing away. Thus, from now on, my young neighbors would have to get used to me being the new inhabitant. What were they waiting for, still leaning against the closed gate while staring at the 'old man'? I had bought this nice 'two-story house with a surrounding garden' in this small village to live here in peace and quiet for the rest of my retirement, and not to be gawked at by some curious neighborhood youth. My new property was not a zoo, displaying 'old men' and 'ancient grandpas'. Did they pay at the entrance?

Because my upset 'ego' still felt insulted and just wouldn't stop muttering, I decided to do something about my disturbed feelings first. Ultimately, as a 'professional', I didn't need to feel annoyed by what turned out to be only a bunch of cheeky neighborhood kids, for crying out loud! Quickly, I analyzed my emotions, to be able to discard them and be in control again. As a well-trained psychotherapist, I should always be at peace with myself and in control of my own feelings, anywhere and under all circumstances! Why did those childish words, 'old man' and 'ancient grandpa', have such a profound impact on my habitual inner calmness and professional easiness of mind? For a second, I fell silent, while concentrating on my inner self. Then, I started to smile, because I found out that my perturbed 'ego' felt rather upset with being branded as 'old', while it always assumed its owner still looked relatively young. And, of course, at least in the eyes of these inexperienced children, any sleeping grownup with 'such a beard' could be only very old...

At seeing my unexpected smile, a small girl piped up, ending her question with a soft giggle:

"Do YOU live in Harry's house now?"

Before I could respond, a somewhat older boy admonished her:

"Of course, silly, can't you see that's obvious?"

At hearing the word 'silly', the small girl turned around, forcefully punched the boy's arm, and sent him a murderous dead look; making the other kids chuckle and nudge each other. Obviously, she didn't like being called names, although she really acted a bit giggly... Then, all the children resumed leaning against the closed gate while staring at the 'ancient grandpa'. Fortunately, I could now see my young neighbors in a somewhat different light. My inside had a gut feeling as if they really wanted to talk to me. Only, now that I had reacted angrily, they didn't know any more what to do. Probably, they were now waiting for ME to take the first step... Well, that would be understandable from their point of view; because my insulted ego hadn't behaved too nicely, by glaring at them and looking insulted.

Up to now, the first day of my retirement in this small village had been a peaceful day. Sitting on my new porch for the first time, I already started to feel at home in my newly bought house and its peaceful surroundings. Some time ago, my wife and I had decided to go our separate ways. Our two grownup daughters were living their own lives in another town, and we didn't have any grandchildren to spoil. During the last year, my wife and I had been living in the same house, but we didn't even share the bed any more. One evening, we had an emotional talk; and then, we easily made our decisions. We divorced, sold our house, and went our own ways. My wife moved towards our two daughters; and I rented a temporary home while looking for something more appropriate.

After some searching, I found this two-story abode in this small village, and instantly fell in love with it. The same moment I saw this house, everything in and around it offered me a sensation of 'coming home'! According to my realtor, the house had belonged to a single man who had lived here all alone for more than twenty years and suddenly passed away two months ago. His family sold the house to me for a reasonable price, and I bought it without much haggling, hoping to enjoy my retirement and the rest of my life here, preferably in peace and quiet. Fortunately, my new property was in reasonable condition; and I only had to make a few minor adjustments to enjoy the happy feeling that, from now on, this would be MY house.

Today, I lounged on the porch of my new residence for the first time, dreaming away while contemplating my life. This morning, the movers had unloaded my cardboard boxes into my new garage and helpfully put my most bulky possessions in place; so that my new sitting room already held a desk, a couch and two easy chairs, my kitchen was usable, and my bedroom had a comfortable double waterbed. After opening a few cardboard boxes and gathering the most urgent necessities, my home was livable and ready for the night. Tomorrow, I would first empty the remaining cardboard boxes and put all my possessions in place. Then, I wanted to clean up my new yard, which looked overgrown and clearly needed some work. I also wanted to have a closer look at some strange spot I had seen in a corner of my new backyard, after I accidentally stumbled over a couple of painted stones. Because I didn't have a so-called 'green thumb'; to me, the spot looked just like another bunch of abundantly flowering weeds. Only, somebody seemed to have marked it out by several white cobblestones, as if it could be a special little garden. Who could have placed such a little garden here, and why?

Around three o'clock in the afternoon, my old and clearly rusty muscles started to feel too tired from the unaccustomed work, and I decided to call it a day. I brewed a cup of coffee, brought a folding chair to my new porch, sat down, sipped my coffee, and closed my eyes. Granting myself the luxury of being lazy and enjoying the peacefulness of my new surroundings, I slowly dreamed away, while contemplating my past life and my possible future.

All my life, I had been working as a freelance psychotherapist, helping troubled young children and their mostly desperate parents. Now I had reached the so-called 'age of wisdom'. At least, I hoped so, as I was a fairly bright and rather energetic sixty-fiver who still felt much younger. I stopped working and retired, planning to enjoy my newly found freedom and to relish the rest of my life here, in my newly bought house, hopefully in peace and quiet. That is, until five cheeky neighborhood children harshly pulled me out of my reveries, by calling me an 'old man' and an 'ancient grandpa'...

Again, I silenced my upset ego, this time by unselfishly forgiving the children for calling me 'old'. Now feeling a lot better, I decided to help them break the ice. After all, these kids seemed to be my new neighbors, thus we were to be around each other for a long time. I also didn't want them to think I was a grumpy grandpa or an annoyed old whiner, because I was not. Besides, it always pays off to befriend your new neighbors and their offspring. After forcing my face to relax, I smiled at the still waiting children.

Surprisingly, all five children reacted immediately, by softening their faces and looking relieved. Obviously, my gut feeling was right and they really wanted to talk to me, although they didn't know how to initiate our conversation... Well, okay, now that I already felt generous, I would also try to help them. First, I raised my right hand to greet them, using the universal greeting gesture.

Then, still smiling at my young neighbors, I told them:

"Hello!"

The oldest boy immediately smiled back at me, while lifting his own hand to greet me in return. The boy had a warm and open face and seemed to be a nice kid. For a split second, a hint of recognition crossed my mind, as if my inside remembered this particular boy with his happy smile and deep brown eyes. However, I couldn't remember where I had seen him before, so I let it go. In the meantime, the other children still hesitated, probably because their parents or wardens had told them never to talk to 'danger strangers'...

Involuntarily, I started to feel cautious. Ultimately, nowadays, we were living in an extremely mistrustful world, where every single man easily could be seen as a potential child molester. What would happen if their worried parents showed up, to rescue their kids from being assaulted by this 'ancient grandpa'? As an old 'danger stranger', I didn’t want to take any unnecessary risks...

A second later, the smallest girl started to giggle, while she pushed against the closed gate as if trying to open it. When the gate didn't give in, she started to pull at it, also to no avail. Clearly not feeling fazed, she started to fumble with its rusty lock; until the gate suddenly opened with a squeaking sound, and all five children tumbled over each other into my driveway! For a split second, they stared at each other with shocked faces. Then, they started to shriek with laughter, while trying to disentangle from their disordered pile.

Although I really tried to behave as a 'responsible grownup', I too started to bellow with laughter at seeing five shocked looking neighborhood children unexpectedly piling up in my driveway. This comical incident could easily be the catching introduction to a funny slapstick! Fortunately, my heartfelt laughter seemed to convince the children that I wouldn't be too angry with them for trespassing. After disentangling from each other, they hesitantly stepped into my front garden, while giggling and furtively pushing each other as sort of collective encouragement. Then, they stopped again and looked at each other, as if not knowing what they should do next.

Only the oldest boy took a couple more steps into my driveway. From there, he craned his neck, as if trying to look around in my backyard. Sounding a bit sad, or maybe disappointed, he turned towards the others and asked them:

"Does Harry know that someone else now lives in his house?"

This was very strange! Why would the oldest boy be looking for some 'Harry' in my new backyard? Then, I had been wrong in my earlier assumption. According to my realtor, the former owner of my house had died two months ago, so the 'Harry' this boy was looking for had to be someone else! And, why did the oldest boy call my new house 'his house', as if my newly bought abode also belonged to 'Harry'? Was this unknown 'Harry' still living around here, after the former owner of 'his house' had passed away? That wasn't likely, as the deceased owner had been living here all alone.

Perhaps, the demised man had left the kids a cat, or a dog? Yes, of course! That had to be what the children were looking for... Well, I had always liked domestic animals, and it would be fun to have a cat or a dog around. Wanting to help my young neighbors find their lost animal, I asked them:

"What exactly is this 'Harry' you are looking for?"

As if I had slapped them, all five children suddenly stared at me, wide-eyed and with suspicious faces, as if they didn't understand how I could ask them such a horrible question. They also glanced at each other, furtively, as if they didn't know what to think of this weird stranger and his strange request. What could be their problem? Didn't they want me to help them find their lost animal? Were they afraid I would try to harm it or chase it away? Or, could their lost cat or dog be dangerous to unknown strangers, and were they trying to protect it from harming me? Well, so far, every unknown dog or cat had always been friendly to me, even when others assumed it could be dangerous; probably because the animal sensed my Inner Love and Compassion and reacted to the feeling. Therefore, I wasn't afraid to help my young neighbors find their lost cat or dog. On the contrary, I now felt even more curious about the unknown 'Harry' they were looking for.

While beckoning them over to my porch, I explained:

"Of course, to let me help you find your 'Harry', you first have to tell me what kind of animal it is..."

This time, all five children plainly GLARED at me, with angry faces and fire-shooting eyes, as if they felt severely insulted and shocked by my request! Why were my new neighbors reacting so hostile to my offer to help them find their lost animal? What did I do wrong, at least in their eyes? Perhaps, they didn't WANT me to help them find their lost dog or cat, or they were trying to keep it a secret from a newcomer they had never seen here before? If so, they hadn't acted cleverly, by mentioning their mysterious 'Harry' while I could hear their bantering! What should I do now, now that they obviously didn't trust this 'ancient grandpa'? Hesitantly, I first lifted both hands into the air, to show them the universal sign of surrender.

Then, I tried to put in some silly joke, to make them laugh:

"Of course, this 'old man' is no longer a stranger to you, because I have bought this house and am now living in it. I only hadn't planned to bite any unknown neighborhood children, at least not yet. However, as an 'ancient grandpa', I might try to take a small nibble... but only a tiny one, to spare my false teeth."

For a few seconds, all five children stared at me with confused faces, as if they had to translate my words first. Then, they started to relax their frowning faces and angry looks. They even started to chuckle and nudge each other, while looking more relaxed and at ease. Obviously, they decided that this 'ancient grandpa' might act a bit strange, but he wasn't dangerous enough to be afraid of.

A boy with long yellowish hair started to laugh, and that seemed to be their signal for take off. Daringly, the boy climbed the few steps to my porch, and all the others followed him. Giggling and furtively pushing each other, five young children huddled together on my porch, although they still kept a safe distance from me. I estimated them to be from the age of the about nine-year-old youngest girl to the around twelve-year-old oldest boy. They seemed to be nice kids, and I already regretted my unfriendly behavior. At the same time, I also wondered why they were paying their new neighbor so much attention. Was it something to do with the mysterious 'Harry' they seemed to be looking for? Still feeling curious, I tried to rephrase my 'impossible' question and asked them:

"Could any of you please tell me some more about 'Harry'?"

Again, all the children looked at each other, this time with doubtful eyes, as if they didn't know whether they could trust this unknown stranger, or not. However, I still didn't understand why my young neighbors were behaving so distantly. Could they be sharing some secret, and didn't they want me to find out what it was? How could I make it clear to them they could trust me, and that I only wanted to help them find their lost animal and nothing more?

Fortunately, next to being an experienced psychotherapist, I had also trained myself in using 'alternative remedies' like sensing and healing 'auras', reading 'emotional body language', and sending my 'Universal Love'. Therefore, I opened my heart towards my young neighbors and started to send them lots of Universal Love. That always helped my little clients feel more at ease, so that they calmed down, opened up, and trusted me some more.

Sending them my Universal Love seemed to help again, because, within a second, the oldest boy took a step towards me and stared directly into my eyes.

With a slightly quivering voice, he explained:

"Harry is not an animal, he is our friend! This is Jack's former house, and Harry used to be here all the time; until, two months ago, Jack suddenly died. Now, Harry still cries every day, because he still misses his Big Friend. Please, sir, could you try to be nice to him and not chase him away? Harry is our best friend and my adopted little brother; and we all love him very much."

The about twelve-year-old boy had a nice and open face, with two inquisitive dark brown orbs that now pierced straight into mine. Did I really see a couple of tears, welling up in his sad looking eyes? This boy seemed to care quite a lot for his 'adopted little brother', who missed his former 'Big Friend' and still cried every day. Perhaps, as a trained psychotherapist, used to helping troubled children, I could help 'Harry' overcome his obvious grief and sadness? However, then, I had to meet him first! Only, where could he be, and why didn't he join his friends on my porch? Perhaps, I had looked too grumpy while glaring at my too cheeky neighbors?

Unexpectedly, an odd feeling struck my inside and made me gasp for air! Suddenly, my heart was SURE I recognized this twelve-year-old boy with his inquisitive brown eyes, although my confused brain told me I had never seen him before. In my heart, this boy already felt like my dearest friend, or like my long-lost blood brother... This was very strange! Could this young boy resemble someone else I once knew but forgot about, sort of an odd coincidence?

Surprisingly, the boy also made me think of my own little brother, Joshie. Supposed little Joshie had survived death, this twelve-year-old boy could easily be Joshie's own son and therefore my nephew! Feeling more and more uneasy, I quickly pushed my unwelcome remembrances out of the way. After living through my own extremely difficult youth, I had carefully suppressed all the horrible memories from my past, and I wanted to keep it that way.

Only, my strange feelings of recognition didn't go away. Faint 'remembrances' showed up in my mind, of the grown-up boy and I sitting together around a crackling campfire, talking and drinking coffee. We were trappers in a dangerous forest, of around the same age, and I had a little son who was very fond of our mutual friend; until a hungry grizzly bear killed all three of us and we went to 'heaven'. From 'the beyond', our 'Beloved Ancestors', 'Cosmic Friends', and 'Spirit Guides' asked us to return to our confused Planet Earth, to work closely together and help transforming our so terribly deranged 'playground' into a much better place to live on...

Feeling shocked into my deepest core, my baffled brain just didn't know what to think of my unexpected 'remembrances' from our so-called 'past lives'. Up to now, I had always assumed that dead is dead, and death is the definite end of everything. Everybody knows that! Therefore, I refused to accept my strange remembrances, and quickly forced my confused mind to go back to the boy's answer that had clarified the mystery. Of course, the mysterious 'Harry' turned out to be another boy! I should have guessed it myself. Only, why was that other boy hiding somewhere in or around my backyard, instead of joining his friends on my porch? Could this unknown 'Harry' be afraid of meeting the new owner of 'his' house, while he used to be here with his deceased 'Big Friend', Jack? Had I looked THAT grumpy?

All the time, my twelve-year-old 'former friend' continued to stare into my eyes, as if he tried to read my inner thoughts by probing directly into my soul. My heart was now sure that he recognized me too, and he felt just as confused as I was! Could this boy be experiencing the same strange 'remembrances' from our 'past lives', including being trappers of the same age and he babysitting my little son, until a hungry grizzly bear killed us and we went to 'heaven'?

Bashfully, the boy wiped his tears away with a sleeve of his shirt. At the same time, I felt a couple of tears dripping down my own face! What the heck was happening to me? Was I suddenly becoming senile, at this way too young age? This certainly was not my normal 'professional' behavior as a well-trained psychotherapist! Desperately, I tried to suppress my unwanted emotions. What would my young neighbors think of me now, at seeing this suddenly blubbering 'old man' or 'ancient grandpa'? Feeling more and more irritated and angry with myself, I worked my handkerchief out of my pocket and wiped my unwelcome tears away. Then, with a sudden feeling of compassion, I handed my handkerchief to the silently sniffling boy.

The boy offered me a thankful smile, while he wiped his teary eyes and blew his nose in my handkerchief. Looking apologetically, he handed the wet thing back to me. Without thinking, I stuffed it back into my pocket, while heaving a couple deep sighs of frustration. Desperately, I tried to understand what could be happening to me, and why I was feeling all those unexpected and disturbing sensations. Why did my inside suddenly feel this emotional, obviously without any reason? I was a trained psychotherapist and should always be in control of myself and of my emotions, for crying out loud!

Yet, my inside had a strange feeling as if I still loved this young boy dearly, because he and I had been close friends during at least five thousand years, including the boy's 'adopted little brother', Harry... Still feeling very unsure, I looked back at the twelve-year-old boy who continued to stare in my eyes, as if probing my deepest intentions. My gut feeling told me that he wanted to tell me a lot more about his little brother, 'Harry', but hesitated. Although his inside recognized me too, his confused brain wasn't sure if he really could trust this unknown stranger he had never met before in THIS life.

Out of professional habit, I switched into my usual 'therapist mode', by 'tuning in' into the boy's emotional aura. Reading people's protective auras, and interpreting what they told me, always helped me see things clearer, by sensing the hidden feelings and emotions of my little clients. I also probed the boy's deep brown eyes, to contact his soul and find out what could be his problem...

Feeling shocked again, I sensed an intense feeling of sadness and loneliness, as if nobody around this boy really cared for him. After living through Jack's sudden death, he now felt even more alone. He too seemed to miss Jack badly; just like his 'adopted little brother', Harry, missed his former 'Big Friend'. I even thought the boy could have seen Jack as sort of a 'replacement father', and he now felt abandoned. Could the late Jack and this sad looking boy have been 'Big Friends' too, although the boy didn't want to get in the way of his 'little brother' who clearly had first rights?

Another overwhelming sensation welled up in my inside, this time of 'coming home'. Now, I didn't believe myself any more. Totally unexpectedly, my heart was sure our meeting was 'predestined' and that our lives were rapidly reaching their 'final destiny'! My former friend and I were brought together so that we could work together as a powerful team, including 'Harry'. At the same time, my heart nearly overflowed with Pure Love for this young boy, as if we once loved each other dearly and still loved each other very much...

More and more 'remembrances' started to show up in my confused mind, of the grownup boy as my best trapper friend, while 'Harry' was my own little son. Plus, in another 'past life', I had been a 'Beloved Gypsy Monarch', while the grownup 'Harry' had been my trusted Vice Leader and best friend, and this young boy had been Harry's own son who was totally devoted to me... This time, I really thought I was becoming senile, at this way too young age.

Strangely, at the same time, my inside was sure that all my strange memories from our 'past lives' were genuine, and that both this twelve-year-old boy and his little brother 'Harry' really belonged to me and to each other, for now and for all eternity. Never before had I felt such an extremely strong feeling of 'belonging' to each other, not even with my own spouse and daughters!

Again, I stared into the still probing eyes of my twelve-year-old 'former friend', while trying to contact his soul and find the truth... This time, I felt like drowning in two deep brown orbs, while my heart started to jump around in my chest with pure joy, because it was now sure it recognized my best friend from several of our past lives. My gut feeling told me that my 'former friend' was experiencing the same overwhelming feelings of Pure Love for each other, making him feel at least as confused as I was. Could this boy and I really recognize each other from our former 'reincarnations' or 'past lives'?

A long time ago, an old Indian Shaman had tried to convince me about his belief that our 'immortal souls' were living temporarily in our mortal bodies. After we died, our souls returned to our 'Timeless Eternal Realm', from where they would be reborn into another human body, to gain more Cosmic Powers and develop even more Eternal Love and other 'Cosmic Abilities'. According to the old Shaman, my soul already possessed many abilities, but I would be able to use my powers only after I first met a couple of 'former friends' from several of our 'past lives', and we started working together as a team, helped by all our Beloved Ancestors and Spirit Friends.

At that time, I didn't believe the old Shaman, although he also told me several private things he absolutely couldn't know. However, now that I obviously met one of my 'former friends' from our past lives, and we really seemed to recognize each other, I started to doubt. My Inside seemed to be absolutely sure that this boy and I had been close friends during many 'reincarnations'; including the boy's little brother, Harry, who once had been my own little son, and who also had been my grownup best friend and our Vice Leader when I was a 'Beloved Gypsy Monarch'. I only never thought that my 'former friends' would turn out to be such young boys...

As if he could have picked up my thoughts, my twelve-year-old 'former friend' stared deeply into my eyes while he went on:

"Until two months ago, Harry used to live here, in what is now your house. He and Jack were close friends, and Jack always helped Harry with everything that he needed. Only, we kept it a secret from the other people in our village, because Children's Protection Services could take Harry away from us and put him in an orphanage, and that would break his heart. Officially, Harry is in our custody; but, in reality, he lived with Jack and had his own room in the house, upstairs, second door to the left. Please, sir, don't betray us, because CPS can still take my little brother away from us..."

Well, this clarifying answer explained quite a lot, especially to an experienced psychotherapist who had helped many abandoned or neglected children. Apparently, 'Harry' was such a neglected child, and he had sought shelter with 'Jack', the deceased former owner of my newly bought house. I only wondered how Jack could have gotten around the rather bureaucratic CPS. However, I decided to ask my own questions later on. For the moment, I only wanted to let my young neighbors know they could trust me and had found a friend.

Again lifting both hands as in surrender, I started to promise:

"Of course, I will NEVER betray any of you! I also promise I will help you and be there for you, when and wherever I can. From now on, you can count on me and ask me for anything that you need, because I want to be a friend. Cross my heart and hope to die!"

2. Remembering my own burnt little brother.

Surprisingly, all five children remained silent, while only staring at me... Automatically, my too analytical mind started to doubt. Why didn't my young friends look happier now that I had given them such a well-meant promise? Perhaps, they hadn't expected me, a bearded 'ancient grandpa' they had never seen before, to offer them such a generous vow? Or, had I overdone it too much, by using their silly 'children's promise'? Why hadn't I kept my mouth shut and listened to what they had to say first, instead of trying to convince them by making the best impression on them...

After what felt like an awkward eternity, the youngest girl started to giggle, while she looked at me with almost adoration in her eyes. At the same time, all the other kids seemed to feel relieved, because they happily smiled at me. Involuntarily, they shuffled a bit closer, as if they had decided to trust me from now on. Obviously, I had used exactly the right words, although my always-doubting analytical mind kept telling me I could have done better.

Again, my twelve-year-old 'former friend' stared into my eyes. This time, his deep brown orbs not only showed a lot more trust, but also a deep longing to be with me, or to belong to me. My heart was now sure that he recognized me too, he still loved me dearly, and he wanted me to be his new Big Friend! Only, how should I cope with that? As a single man and living all alone, paying too much attention to such a young child could easily be looked upon as being 'improper behavior' in our over-protective and mistrusting Big Brother society...

How would this boy's parents or wardens react, if they found out that their child had befriended 'some ancient grandpa'? Wouldn't they immediately think the worst of it, and call the police to investigate me? Suddenly feeling unsure, I asked my new friends:

"I don't have any sodas, but would you care for a cup of hot tea?"

All five children nodded enthusiastically. Crowding together, they sat down on the wooden floor of my porch, and waited for the things to come; while I rose from my folding chair and entered my house. Much to my surprise, the oldest boy just followed me inside, as if this was quite normal to him! From the hallway, he went straight to my new kitchen, as if he already knew the way and was used to be around. For a few seconds, he looked around with curious eyes. Then, he went to the sink, washed his tear-stained face by splashing some water onto it, and dried it using the only kitchen towel I had been able to find. Next, he started to rummage in my halfway filled cupboards without asking, and filled a tray with cups, milk, sugar, and a spoon.

Obviously, my new young friend already felt at home in Jack's former kitchen! Feeling surprised, but also pleased with my helpful company, I poured some water into a kettle and put it on my newly bought electric cook top. Patiently, we waited for the water to heat up, now and then smiling at each other. Unexpectedly, my new young friend stepped backwards and trustfully leaned into me.

For a second, I hesitated. Ultimately, this boy and I had met for the first time only a few minutes ago, and I didn't even know his name... Then, I decided to listen to my own heart, and folded my arms around his surprisingly firm frame. Obviously, this so affectionate young boy was craving for lots of tender loving care. Didn't he have his own Dad to love and cuddle him? I also wondered why this young boy and I already felt so totally at ease with each other. This was very strange, unless we really knew each other from our 'past lives' and had been close friends before. That would also explain why I already felt so much Pure Love for my new young friend. Still, my analytical mind refused to believe in the 'new age' things my old Indian Shaman had told me about. Everybody knows that dead is dead; and death is the definite end of everything! There had to be a more reasonable explanation, other than 'past lives' or 'reincarnation'...

Soon, the water started to boil, and my new friend reluctantly left my arms. Again, he helped me, by fetching some tea from one of the cupboards. Smilingly, I realized that the boy had found my tea effortlessly, while I couldn't even remember putting it there. Obviously, I was really becoming a forgetful 'ancient grandpa'! Walking together, we returned to the porch and the waiting children, while I carried the kettle of hot tea and my new friend proudly carried the filled tray. Everybody took a cup of tea and added some milk and sugar. Sitting together, we sipped our drinks, putting the emptied cups back onto the tray. Now and then, we smiled at each other, already feeling more and more at ease in each other's company.

While sipping my tea, I started to think. Why did my inside feel so strangely happy, as if it had reached an important goal? Stealthily, I looked at my twelve-year-old former friend who sat next to me. Why did my heart feel as if this boy and I already were best friends and loved each other dearly, although my mind was sure I had never seen him before? This was very strange, unless we really knew each other from our past lives and had been good friends before...

The boy seemed to feel the same happiness, because, every time, he looked back at me and smiled. My gut feeling told me his inside was sensing the same strange friendship and that, from now on, he wanted ME to be his new Big Friend. Could my new friend remember the same past life where we had been grownup trappers in a forest? And, had Harry really been my own little son, until a hungry grizzly bear killed all three of us and we went to 'heaven'? If so, I absolutely wanted to meet my 'former little son' too, preferably as soon as possible! Would Harry and I recognize each other as well? However, I wanted to ask my young neighbors for their names first:

"Shall we now get acquainted and introduce ourselves? To start with this 'ancient grandpa', my first name is Harry."

Chuckling and also looking a little bit naughty, my twelve-year-old 'former friend' responded:

"Firstly, I totally disagree with Thomas, because you are NOT an 'ancient grandpa'! At least, not yet... Shall I now introduce everybody to you? To start with me, my name is John, and I am thirteen years old. The boy over there is my brother Mark, and he is eleven. This is my sister Marrie, and she is ten. That yellow rascal over there is my friend Thomas, he is twelve; and the girl next to him is his sister Chrissy and she is nine. I don't know where Harry hides, but he is only eight years old and I hope you will meet him soon. He is my little Gypsy brother, and we always protect him from any pestering or name-calling kids in our neighborhood."

John looked a bit small for being thirteen years old, but he was firmly built, with a warm and open face, deep brown eyes, and dark brown hair with little curls at the edges. His brother, Mark, was a slender boy with hazel eyes and wavy light brown hair. I could hardly imagine that he and John were brothers! His sister, Marrie, was a firm looking girl, also having hazel eyes and wavy light brown hair like her brother Mark. John's friend Thomas seemed to be a real rascal, with greenish eyes and yellowish hair, wearing it a bit too long for my personal taste. Thomas' sister, Chrissy, was just a little lady, having greenish eyes and yellowish hair like her bigger brother. Although she acted a bit giggly, she too seemed to be a nice girl. I already liked all five children at first sight, and felt lucky to have them as my new neighbors. My inside was already sure we would become friends and that I would see them more often from now on.

Only, I still didn't understand why John's 'little Gypsy brother', Harry, wasn't joining his friends on my porch. Could their eight-year-old youngest friend feel a bit ashamed of being of Gypsy origin? That would be truly sad... Feeling more and more curious about their mysterious Harry, I asked my new friend:

"John? Thank you very much for introducing everybody to me, but there is still something I don't understand. Why doesn't your 'little Gypsy brother' join you and your friends on my porch?"

Suddenly looking very sad, John started to tell me their amazing story, now and then filled in by the other children...

Two years ago, all five children were playing outside, when a car with a Gypsy caravan attached stopped in a clearing along the road. A little boy left the caravan and trotted towards the playing children, dragging an empty jerry can and asking them for 'watter', talking with a surprisingly deep baritone voice. Helpfully, the children took the little boy to their nearest neighbor, Jack, who just started to wash his car in his driveway. Jack provided the Gypsies with fresh water, some food, and a couple of used clothes, while the children assisted by carrying everything to the caravan. Both friendly Gypsy parents, who didn't speak our language and seemed to be very poor, thanked them abundantly. That evening, all six children happily played outside, until darkness set in and they had to go home.

Some people in our village seemed to dislike Gypsies; because, in the middle of the night, their caravan was set ablaze! The man and the woman both perished in the fire. Only their six-year-old son survived, but he was burnt all over very badly, especially his face. A howling ambulance hurried him to a hospital, accompanied by a furious Jack who told the boy to be brave and stay alive. Of course, there was no insurance, but Jack paid everything for the burnt little boy, including all his surgeries and medicines. Month after month, Jack visited his burnt little friend every day and helped him with everything that he needed. He comforted him with the loss of his parents, cheered him up, encouraged him, and taught him our language and our habits.

The same day the burnt Gypsy boy was ready to leave the hospital, Children's Protection Services took over and put him in an orphanage. That morning, Jack entered an empty hospital room, and nobody could tell him where his burnt little friend was. After searching for him in vain, Jack returned home empty-handed and feeling desperate. An hour later, John found Jack in his driveway, curled up next to his car and crying his heart out. Helpfully, John took Jack home, where Jack told John's mother his story of loving the burnt little Gypsy boy from the first moment he saw him. He had nurtured him in the hospital, helped him with everything that he needed, comforted him after the loss of his parents, and taught him the new language.

Jack had built a very strong relationship with the six-year-old little orphan, and even promised to take him into his house and let him have his own room, upstairs, second door to the left. Now, all of a sudden, the hospital room was empty and nobody seemed to know where his burnt little friend was. The 'authorities' had taken the boy to an unknown orphanage without saying a word...

John's mother immediately contacted CPS, and she tried to convince them to trust Jack with guardianship over the little orphan. Only, as a single male and living on his own, there was no chance they would ever allow to raise an unrelated child, being befriended or not. After several more phone calls and many heated discussions, John's mother and CPS finally reached a workable agreement: John's parents took the boy into their custody, and they would raise him until he was at least eighteen years old and could decide for himself.

That is how the burnt little Gypsy boy became John's 'little Gypsy brother' and the special friend of all the neighborhood children. They protected their burnt friend from too prying eyes, and they defended him from any pestering or name-calling kids in our village. Above all, they kept their secret a secret: little Harry lived with his 'Big Friend', Jack, in what was now my house. Jack provided him with everything he needed, and little Harry had his own room in Jack's house, upstairs, second door to the left. That is, until two months ago, when Jack suddenly died. Jack's house was up for sale, and the now eight-year-old Gypsy boy was passed on to John's parents. Since then, he and John had to share John's bedroom, while all his belongings were stowed away in their garage...

At hearing such an extremely sad story, I nearly started to cry, while my inside felt overwhelmed by an intense feeling of compassion for the eight-year-old Gypsy boy who had to endure such an enormous burden. Why had life been so cruel to such a young kid? Would I ever be able to help the poor orphan, after he first lost both parents and now his 'Big Friend'? Of course, the little Gypsy boy would always be welcome in my house! If he wanted his 'own' room back, I would give it to him and even furnish it for him! I also thought of the little 'garden' full of abundantly flowering weeds I had seen in my backyard, surrounded by several white cobblestones. Could the late Jack and his little friend have set it up together? Could Harry still be maintaining it, not wanting to give up his 'own property'? I looked at John, planning to ask him my questions...

Only, all the children still stared intently at me. What were they waiting for? Hadn't they told me everything that I needed to know? To reassure them and let them know I really wanted to be a friend, I again started to promise:

"Of course, Harry will always be welcome in his 'old home'. If he wants his 'own' room back, I will give it to him and even help him furnish it. All of you are always welcome in my house too. From now on, you can count on me, always and everywhere, and I promise again I will try to help you with everything that I can..."

Still, something was not right. Although all five children were listening intently, they also kept stealing glances at me and at each other. Were they not satisfied with my generous promises? What were they still waiting for? Or, had I overlooked something important? Only, what could I have missed, while listening to their sad story? What should I do now, to reassure my new friends and convince them even more I really wanted to help 'Harry'?

After a moment of awkward silence, John suddenly continued:

"I think that my little brother is afraid to show himself to you because he is burnt very badly all over, especially his face. Nearly every stranger who sees him for the first time, feels shocked, laughs at him, shoos him away, or calls him a 'freak' or an 'alien'."

Again, all five children looked at me; this time with expectant faces, as if they hoped and prayed that I would keep my generous promises and accept their so badly burnt little Gypsy friend...

Only, my brain had already tumbled into severe shock, while my stupefied inside felt like dumbstruck! My throat choked up from my suddenly welling emotions, while my cramping body started to tremble all over and felt like paralyzed. An emotional lightning bolt struck my wildly beating heart and almost killed me. A hidden emotional time bomb woke up and exploded in my inside, making my body shudder with distress and agony. Unexpectedly, all my so carefully suppressed remembrances from my own horrible youth slammed back into my consciousness, feeling like tumbling over each other! My straining body crumpled together in sheer agony, while I fell back onto my folding chair and gasped for air.

All at once, at hearing these two loathed words, 'freak' and 'alien', all my long forgotten sufferings of my own horrible youth slammed back into my mind. Like a sudden thunderclap, all my so carefully repressed emotions showed up in my inside, cruelly crushing all my built-up defenses. I felt my mind collapse into a frightening darkness, and had to struggle with all of my might to remain conscious. Those two little words, 'freak' and 'alien', irresistibly brought back all my horrible experiences from my own youth, as if it had been yesterday! Now, I understood the hesitancy of the children; and why they asked me to be nice to that poor boy. Their little Gypsy friend was burnt all over, especially his face... Nearly every stranger who saw him for the first time, called him a 'freak' or an 'alien'...

Whilst I felt like throwing up, my body continued to cramp and shudder, while my world started to turn around and around. With trembling legs, I forced myself to leave my chair and flee into the relative safety of my house. Stumbling over my own feet, I wavered inside, on my way avoiding five pairs of frightened eyes...

This was too much for me! I couldn't deal with such a terrible fate for the second time! I came here for my retirement, and not to be saddled up with another burnt little boy. What should I do now?

Inside my house, I kicked one of my chairs out of the way before I slumped down on my couch and buried my head in my hands. Still trembling all over, I didn't know how to cope with my suddenly returning emotions from my own horrible past. All my so carefully suppressed and long forgotten memories from my own youth continued to flash back into my mind, tumbling over each other and making me shudder with horror...

"Dammit!" I shouted into my living room, "Why me again? What have I done wrong this time?"

I was fourteen years old; and my little brother, Joshie, was eight. My parents were socializing somewhere in our neighborhood, as they used to do nearly every evening. I was lying on my bed in my own bedroom, reading some comic book. My little brother was silently playing in his own room, and everything in our house felt calm and peaceful, as usual...

Suddenly, my little brother started to scream, while he bolted out of his room and rushed into my bedroom in panic, urging me to help him. He had set his clothes and his hair on fire, and he didn't know what to do! In vain, his small hands slapped at the already blazing flames, while he screeched with agony. He had tried to light an unwilling candle; but, somehow, something had gone awfully wrong...

At first, I panicked, because I didn't know how to help my screeching little brother. Desperately, I tried to put out the already blazing flames, by slapping at them with my comic book. However, every time, they flared up again. What should I do now? Where were my parents? Hoping for the best, I pulled my screeching little brother into our bathroom and put him under the shower, to try to extinguish the more and more blazing fire. Thankfully, that helped.

Next, I raced to Joshie's bedroom, to look for anything else that might be burning. Fortunately, the only burnt things I saw were a couple of broken matches and a dropped candle. Feeling relieved, I returned to the shower, where Joshie still squirmed around under the splashing water, crying and obviously in a lot of pain. I tried to help him by peeling off his burnt clothes, but some skin came off too, and he screamed louder and louder!

Desperately, I tried to remember where my parents were, but I didn't know their address and couldn't leave Joshie alone. Finally, I thought of the emergency-number and rushed to our phone in the hallway. Ten very long minutes later, a howling ambulance arrived with screeching tires, and they took my little brother to a hospital.

The next couple of months felt like a horrible nightmare that didn't want to come to an end. Day after day, I visited the hospital, to see my burnt little brother and ask the attending nurses for any news. Then, I stared at a white little mummy that was connected to a couple of blinking and beeping machines. The nurses told me that my little brother was very lucky to be alive; and, so far, everything went relatively well. Most of the time, his surgeons had sedated him, to suppress the pain and immobilize him after his umpteenth surgery.

Finally, after several worrisome months, little Joshie was released from the hospital and returned home. However, from now on, my burnt little brother looked more like some 'freaky alien'. His small hands were reduced to little stumps, he breathed through a tube in his throat, and he couldn't speak any more. His so terribly burnt face looked like a scary mask with only a couple of dark holes in it. His little pug nose and both ears were totally gone, and he had lost all of his hair and was completely bald.

The next day, my own nightmare began. My parents started to blame ME for everything that had happened, because I hadn't looked after my little brother while they were away. Therefore, they decided to help me 'develop some more responsibility', by teaching me a lesson I would never forget. From now on, I had to take my burnt little brother with me, every time I wanted to leave our house.

The first time I took my little brother outside was a real nightmare. Nearly every stranger stared at me and laughed at Joshie's burnt face, and others stopped dead in their tracks, looked shocked, or called my little brother a 'freak' or an 'alien'... For many weeks, I had a terrible time, until I taught myself how to shut off my disturbing emotions. From then on, I just dragged my burnt little brother along, without ever looking around. Little Joshie never protested and always obediently walked at my side, with his burnt little stump in my hand.

Soon, all my 'friends' left me alone, probably to avoid looking at the 'freaky alien' that always accompanied me. Whenever little Joshie and I happened to meet them, they disappeared as fast as they could, or they laughed sheepishly while telling each other silly jokes about 'landed aliens' and 'freaky nightmares'. Slowly, I started to feel more and more depressed and even thought about leaving my hell by committing suicide. However, I didn't want to cause Joshie any more problems in addition to the many difficulties he already had. Ultimately, all this was MY fault, at least according to my parents...

Fortunately, both for him and for me, Joshie suddenly died and went to 'heaven'. From now on, I was 'free' again, and allowed to go outside without dragging my burnt little brother along. Only, I didn't know how to cope with my newly gained freedom, and cried and cried. Suddenly, I missed the little imp, trustfully walking next to me, with his burnt little stump in my hand.

My worried looking parents tried to comfort me by telling me they weren't angry any more and still loved me, despite what I had done. However, I didn't believe them any more and just went on crying and crying. Unfortunately, I turned out to be right. Soon, my parents turned against me and started to blame me again.

The day after I became eighteen years old, early in the morning, I left 'home'. Before I left the house and never looked back, I first raided my dad's wallet and emptied my mom's emergency strongbox, to be able to buy the most needed necessities. Finally feeling FREE, I went to some far-away town and effortlessly rented a room.

Only, how would I be able to survive in this unknown town, as a newly liberated bachelor? Hesitantly, I went to a local store and applied for a job. Fortunately, the nice storeowner could use some help and offered me a good wage. Then, I read in a local newspaper about a new foundation. A couple of wealthy people wanted to help poor but gifted students, by offering them a scholarship. Of course, I immediately applied! I was tested, and they told me I was extremely bright and could easily achieve anything I wanted. They would be very happy to have me as their first fully supported student.

Many years later, I graduated cum laude as a psychotherapist. Of course, all my friends and acquaintances congratulated me with my wonderful achievement, except for my always-absent parents. I rented an apartment and started to work as a freelancer, advertising to help troubled children and their desperate parents. Soon, I had plenty of work; and both my little clients and their grateful parents told me I was an excellent therapist, having an astonishing insight into what troubled children needed... duh!

After I met an old Indian Shaman and listened to his truly amazing stories, I became interested in 'alternative therapies' that I could use to help my little clients even better, like 'reading their body language', sending them 'Universal Love' to calm them down, and many other useful therapies like 'aura reading and healing'. After working hard and saving enough money, I bought a nice house, married a befriended colleague, and we had two lovable daughters.

During all those years, I had thoroughly trained myself to forget everything about my burnt little brother and my own difficult youth. I had also taught myself to repress immediately any disturbing thoughts about my parents and my own troublesome past. After many years of denial and pushing my unwanted emotions into the background, finally, my feelings of guilt seemed to have disappeared. Finally, I was able to help troubled eight-year-old boys without immediately thinking of my own burnt little brother and my own horrible youth. I even started to feel relatively happy with my life as it was...

That is, until I divorced, retired, bought this new house, and met five young neighborhood children who called me an 'old man' and an 'ancient grandpa'. They tumbled into my driveway, and we became friends. Then, the oldest boy told me that nearly every stranger called his eight-year-old burnt little Gypsy brother a 'freak' or an 'alien'...

Instantly, all emotional hell broke loose in my inside! As nuclear time bombs, all my so carefully repressed feelings of guilt and shame exploded, while forcefully breaking through my built-up emotional defenses. My extreme reaction told me that I had only pushed away all my anger and sorrows, without ever dealing with the still underlying and repressed traumas. Little Joshie was burnt on his face and his hands, but I am still burnt in my soul! I can still feel all the pain, all the shame, and all the humiliations from my own horrible youth. I can NOT stand another burnt little boy like Joshie around! Or, can I?

As an experienced psychotherapist, I knew that an unexpected confrontation with a similar incident sometimes brings forth all the old and repressed traumas, and often even cures them. Perhaps, that burnt little Gypsy boy would be able to release my old pain and comfort my still crying soul? Only, I dreaded the undoubtedly very painful confrontation. Plus, I absolutely didn't want to misuse another boy's misery for my own profit...

Still feeling numb, I left my couch and dragged myself to my kitchen, to drink some water. That helped a little bit, and my trembling body recovered somewhat and slowly started to feel less shaky. Then, I decided to do something more drastic about my emotional misery. After taking a couple of deep breaths, I forced myself to regain my composure and re-gather my strength immediately. Fortunately, in my own youth, I had thoroughly trained myself in doing this, during all those horrible years of repression and denial. Within a few minutes, I had fought down my troubling emotions and started to become my 'joyful' normal self again.

Now, I thought of the still waiting children on my porch. How would they feel, after the 'ancient grandpa' suddenly started to cry and left them alone, without giving them a reasonable explanation? Would they still be waiting for me? I hurried back to my porch, planning to offer them my excuses and perhaps another cup of tea... Only, my porch was empty and all five children were gone, probably tired of waiting for the so weirdly behaving 'old man'.

Feeling guilty, I slumped down on my folding chair, hoping that my young friends would show up and accept my humble excuses. Only, the street in front of my house was empty and it remained empty. After looking around and waiting in vain for a long time, at last, I gave up. I closed my eyes and started to look back upon my own difficult youth, to try to obtain some more insight and find some more peace in myself.

I was sure I had loved my little brother. Little Joshie was the younger brother every kid in the world would wish for. He was like my little shadow, because, wherever I went, he followed me. Always when I was at home, he was there too, now and then staring at me with a knowing expression in his deep brown eyes, as if the little imp knew something that I didn't need to know yet...

My little brother never bothered me. He just always was there, quietly playing in his room or sitting at our table in the living room. Of course, we didn't have any 'television' or 'internet'. Sometimes, we listened to our old radio or we played a game, until it was time to go to bed. My parents were always 'busy' or 'socializing'. They always told me they trusted me enough to leave us alone, from the time when I was twelve years old and little Joshie was six.

Indeed, my little brother and I never had any problems. We were always in perfect harmony with each other, even after the little duffer did something stupid with a burning candle and I had to help him with everything, even with his showering and going to the bathroom...

3. A little spy, my nightmare, and pondering.

How strange... Now that I closed my eyes, I could have sworn I felt my little brother around! That was impossible, of course, because little Joshie had been dead and buried for more than fifty years. However, I had a strong sensation as if he was here, on my new porch, watching me from nearby. Again, I sensed the well-known feeling of being in perfect harmony with my own little brother. I even opened my eyes and looked around, almost expecting to see him staring at me with his knowing eyes. Of course, nobody was there, and I was all alone on my porch. Now, I felt a bit silly...

Surprisingly, the feeling of not being alone became stronger and stronger. Even with open eyes, I now clearly sensed my little brother watching me, although I was all alone and didn't see anybody around. Strangely, the unusual feeling didn't alarm or frighten me. On the contrary, in some way, my inside felt reassured, as if everything was all right now. Could my little brother be my so-called 'guardian angel' my old Indian Shaman once told me about, watching over me from 'the beyond'? Only, I didn't really believe in these strange 'new-age' things. Dead was dead, and death was the definitive end of everything. Everybody knows that!

Slowly, the unusual feeling changed, as if my little brother took my head and turned it around, to make me look past my house and into my backyard. At the same time, a warm sounding grownup voice in my inside 'told' me to look at some thick bush in a corner! Or, did I make these strange sensations up in my own mind? I wasn't sure...

Although I again felt a bit silly, I decided to listen to the warm and soulful voice in my inside. I even turned my folding chair around, to look at my backyard without straining my neck. Staring at some thick bush, I wondered what could be happening to me. Was I now turning into one of those weird 'new-age' believers I always despised? A moment later, I was sure I saw a tiny movement, as if a few branches swayed back and forth on their own. Clearly, somebody WAS hiding inside that thick bush, probably staring at the 'old man'!

My first thought was: 'Some nosy neighborhood kid is spying on the ancient grandpa.' However, why should anybody do such a thing? Then, another thought popped up in my mind: 'This could be little Harry'... At that thought, my heart jumped up in my chest with pure joy, while my inside reacted with a strangely happy feeling, as if my dearest dreams were fulfilling themselves!

Again, I sensed the same strange feeling I had felt before, as if my life was rapidly reaching its 'final destiny'. As if meeting this burnt little Gypsy boy was what I had been waiting for all my life. Again, faint 'memories' showed up in my mind, of an enormous grizzly bear attacking my screaming little son, while I stormed outside with only a small knife in my hand. Unfortunately, the bear turned towards me and killed me, while my little son stopped screaming and died.

Shuddering from living through the same emotions again, I immediately wanted to rescue my attacked son and bring him to safety! I even had to restrain myself from running towards that thick bush and take 'my poor little son' into my arms! Fortunately, my 'normal' brain was still working, telling me that such wild behavior would almost certainly scare the hiding little spy away...

Carefully, so as not to alarm the hiding child, I sat back on my chair and forced myself to relax. To play it even safer, I closed my eyes, while secretly peeking through my eyelashes. By pretending to fall asleep, I hoped the hiding spy would show up and let me see some more of himself. Inwardly, I 'tuned in' into the burnt little Gypsy orphan, opened my heart towards him, and started to send him as much Universal Love as I was able to muster. At the same time, I 'told' him in my mind that he could trust me and would be more than welcome in his old home; hoping his unconscious mind would pick up some of my energy and my sincere intentions. Then, I waited...

Almost immediately, I saw the same tiny movement again, as if the boy had taken a small step towards me. Obviously, he had picked up my Love and my thoughts, and he reacted as if he could have heard my unspoken words! Much to my surprise, I now saw a pair of very bright blue eyes, curiously peeking through a small gap in the thick bush as if trying to have a better look at me...

For a moment, I felt too stunned to react. Did I really see two bright blue eyes, staring at me from within that thick bush? This was very strange, because John had told me that his little brother was of Gypsy origin, and I always thought that all Gypsies had dark eyes. Maybe, this hiding child was not 'little Harry' but someone else? Well, it didn't really matter. Again, I opened my heart towards the little spy, sending it all the Universal Love that I was able to muster. Inwardly, I continued to speak to the hiding child, hoping he or she would again pick up my Love and my thoughts, and trust me enough to show up and let me see some more...

However, I waited and waited, but nothing happened. The hiding child just stayed where it was. Only its bright blue eyes blinked from time to time, telling me it was still alive and kicking.

After a long time of waiting in vain, I grew too impatient and decided to take some more risk, although I hoped I wouldn't scare the hiding little spy away. First, I opened my eyes and looked directly at where I saw the pair of bright blue eyes, still staring at me. Then, I raised my right hand in a greeting gesture, and tentatively waved at the cleverly hidden child...

Immediately, the bush moved wildly! A small boy bolted out of its backside and raced towards the adjoining yard, nearly tripping over his own feet. For a split second, I saw a small but firmly built boyish frame, adorned with a mop of unruly blond hair. Then, he was gone.

Dammit! This had not been my intent! Clearly, I had been too impatient, in my eagerness to see more of the hiding little spy. Why hadn't I waited for my hiding little friend, until HE was ready to show up and contact me? Feeling disappointed, I rose from my folding chair, entered my house, and closed my front door.

First, I went to my kitchen and brewed another cup of coffee, to squelch my coffee addiction. Then, trying to divert my thoughts, I started to unpack the next cardboard box and stow my belongings away. Only, immediately, my mind started to brood again, this time about what could have gone wrong.

Why was that little boy so scared of me? Could he be afraid I would laugh at him because of his burns? Of course, he didn't know that I was already used to seeing a boy with a badly burnt face, because of my own little brother. Would I ever be able to tell 'little Harry' about little Joshie? Or, would he be too scared from now on, and wouldn't I see him back for a long time? That would be very sad, because I really wanted to meet him. I also wanted to give him his 'own' room back, and ask him about the small 'garden' full of abundantly flowering weeds I had found in my backyard. That is, if he ever dared to return to my house and contact me...

For a long time, I went on brooding about that burnt little Gypsy boy who seemed to be afraid of me. How would I ever be able to contact him, now that he seemed to be too scared to show himself to me? Would I ever be able to meet him and talk to him? Or, would I have to talk to John first? Perhaps, John would be able to convince his 'little Gypsy brother' to join him towards my house and pay me a visit? That is, if John wanted to come back, after I suddenly left him and his friends alone on my porch. Of course, the children didn't know why I suddenly started to cry and fled into my house. Obviously, I had to explain first why I left them alone on my porch without giving them a reasonable explanation...

All these thoughts kept milling around in my brain, until I started to develop a headache and tried to think about something else. Only, although I really tried to divert my thoughts, I seemed to be unable to put that burnt little Gypsy boy out of my mind.

At last, I decided to do something else that might help. I went to my living room and sat down on my couch; planning to 'relive' what had happened. 'Reliving' my actions often helped me see things more clearly, and it certainly gave me a deeper insight into an otherwise too difficult client case.

After closing my eyes, I started to relive the moment when I saw the little spy for the first time, peeking at me from within a thick bush. For quite some time, he only stared at me, probably trying to see some more of the sleeping 'ancient grandpa'. That is, until I became too impatient and waved at him, hoping he had picked up my Universal Love and my thoughts of being welcome, and would trust me enough to show up and contact me... Immediately, a small boy bolted out of the thick bush and stormed into the adjoining backyard, nearly tripping over his own feet in his sudden hurry to get away.

Here, I stopped my mental picture, to have a better look at the fleeing boy. Although he looked a bit small for being eight years old, he showed me a surprisingly strong physique. Unfortunately, I hadn't seen his face, but I was sure I had seen a mop of unruly blond hair on his head. However, immediately, my analytical brain started to doubt again. Didn't all Gypsies have dark hair?

Of course, as a well-trained psychotherapist, I was relatively good at reading 'emotional reactions' and 'primary body language'. Plus, after attending an 'alternative' course in 'aura reading and healing', and practicing its powerful abilities during my therapeutic sessions, I was able to 'feel' the emanating energy fields of my little clients, while 'sensing' their hidden emotions and feelings. Therefore, I started to recall the boy's movements while he fled away, while combining my observations with what my 'reading ability' sensed while looking at the fleeing little spy's protective aura.

Surprisingly, I immediately sensed an astonishing amount of self-consciousness and Inner Awareness in such a small boy! His energy field also showed me something very special in his proud demeanor I could only describe as an aura of Pure Aristocracy, as if this small boy could be sort of a little Prince. Or, did all Gypsy children possess such an enormous amount of Inner Power?

While reading the boy's enveloping aura and sensing his surprisingly confident demeanor, I was sure this proud Gypsy boy was NOT afraid of me, and he would never be! Yes, he had been afraid, but only to be rejected for the umpteenth time, once this stranger would see his so badly burnt face. That was the only reason why he fled away, because I surprised him, and he had been afraid of being disappointed again. Too many people had reacted shocked, shooed him away, or called him a 'freak' or an 'alien', when they saw his so terribly damaged face for the first time.

I also sensed a strong emotional connection to 'my boy', as if I already knew him and we had been close friends before. Therefore, I knew how he felt by just sensing his mood. My inside was sure that, at this same moment, my little friend was regretting his panic and crying his heart out! Or, did I make this 'inner knowledge' up in my own imagination? Again, my analytical mind started to doubt.

Slowly, my thoughts drifted towards my five young neighbors I hadn't seen anymore. Where could they be now? Had they already told their youngest friend about my strange behavior? Of course, they still didn't have the faintest idea why the 'ancient grandpa' suddenly started to cry and fled into his house. I only hoped they wouldn't think it had been their fault, or that I had been angry with them.

For a second, I thought about going for a walk around my new neighborhood, hoping to see my young friends and offer them my well-meant excuses. Only, I took the coward's way out and stayed home. Feeling dead tired from living through so many disturbing emotions, I decided to go to bed early, hoping I would be able to get some sleep in my double waterbed. Quickly, I washed myself with some cold water, before I dived under the blankets and closed my eyes. Fortunately, I tumbled into a deep sleep almost immediately.

In the middle of the night, for the first time since my own horrible youth and Joshie's sudden death, I had a frightening nightmare. The night was pitch dark and, in a small clearing along the road, a Gypsy caravan was attached to an old car. At first, nothing happened. Then, two men sneaked towards the caravan and threw some liquid at it, followed by a burning match. Almost immediately, both the caravan and the old car were on fire! The caravan door opened and a little boy came stumbling out of it, already burning as a torch while screaming for help with a surprisingly deep baritone voice.

Desperately, I tried to reach the burning child, but my feet were stuck in mud and I couldn't move. Fortunately, somebody else quickly pulled the boy out of the blazing inferno and rolled him around and around in lots of cold water and wet grass, to cool his burns; until a howling ambulance showed up and raced him to a hospital.

Feeling totally devastated, I woke up from my frightening nightmare, still loudly screeching for help while trying to free myself from the sticky mud. For quite some time, I continued to struggle with the entangling bed sheets that prevented me from rescuing the burning boy. At last, I woke up some more, sat upright, and looked around, feeling surprised to be lying in some strangely wobbling bed in some foreign looking bedroom I didn't recognize.

Where was I, and what had happened to my bedroom? Had some unknown alien abducted me during my sleep and secretly brought me here, for whatever which reason? And, where was the burning little boy with his surprisingly deep baritone voice, because I still wanted to rescue him from the blazing inferno...

Just before I woke up completely, I heard a warm and soulful voice in my inside, telling me:

"You are approaching your destiny, and your boy needs you!"

Feeling very surprised, I immediately recognized the same warm voice that had asked me to look at that thick bush in my backyard! Although I looked around for who could have talked to me, I was still alone in my new bedroom, lying in my double waterbed, with my feet entangled in the crumpled bed sheets.

Surprisingly, I again sensed the well-known feeling of being in perfect harmony with my little brother, Joshie! Was really little Joshie's 'spirit' around me, here in my new bedroom, to watch over me as my 'guardian angel'? At the same time, my inside was sure I had heard the grownup voice of 'Jack', the deceased former owner of my newly bought house! Don't ask me how I knew, but I was absolutely sure that Jack's spirit was around me and watched over me as well. Could the spirits of both Jack and little Joshie be around me, although I sensed only my little brother's energy?

Feeling very strange, I first disentangled my stuck feet from the crumpled bed sheets. Still feeling tired and sleepy, I rearranged my bed, slumped down, and tried to get some more sleep. Fortunately, hearing Jack's warm and soulful voice in my inside had been a surprisingly soothing and reassuring sensation. Jack's engulfing Cosmic Love had convinced my inside that everything was all right now. I had received his message and could go back to sleep! Feeling reassured, I soon disappeared into a sound and dreamless sleep, without any more frightening nightmares...

The next morning, I woke up with the bright morning sun that teasingly peeked through a crack in my new curtains and tickled my eyes. For a second, I didn't know where I was or what I was doing here, lying in a strangely wobbling bed in some foreign looking bedroom that I didn't recognize. Then, I started to chuckle, because I remembered my new house, my nightmare, and Jack's warm voice in my inside. Obviously, I really was becoming a forgetful old man!

Still yawning, I dragged myself out of bed and ambled downstairs, to get some toiletries. After searching through my cardboard boxes, I found a toothbrush, a comb, and a bar of soap, and took the only kitchen towel I had been able to find so far. Still feeling like a stranger in my new house, I washed my face, combed my hair, and got dressed. Thinking about John, I worked my still wet handkerchief out of my pocket and threw it into my new hamper. Fortunately, I had found three clean ones in one of my cardboard boxes and stuffed them into my pockets. Only, where was my huge packet of tissues I had brought from my old home? I was sure I had put it in one of the many cardboard boxes, but I hadn't been able to find it yet.

After dressing into something casual, I first prepared a more or less decent breakfast from the few scanty leftovers I could find; and I brewed my first cup of heavenly smelling coffee. After squelching my coffee addiction, I would return upstairs to have a closer look at my still unused shower stall. Then, I needed to find a nearby supermarket, to restock my kitchen cupboards and nearly empty refrigerator. That is, if I could find a supermarket in this small village.

Still hoping to see my young neighbors, I took my coffee to my porch and sat down on my folding chair. Absent-mindedly, I sipped my drink, while staring at a flock of twittering sparrows that playfully chased after each other through the surrounding gardens, obviously having lots of fun. One of them landed on the railing of my porch, staring curiously at the bearded newcomer it hadn't seen here before. I smiled at the little bird, and it looked back at me as if it thought:

"Don’t you have any breadcrumbs for me? Shame on you, and I expect you to behave better tomorrow!"

Shaking its tiny head, the little animal took off and followed its friends, resuming whatever sparrows were supposed to do for a living. Smilingly, I made a mental note to try to make a couple of new friends, starting tomorrow, by offering them some breadcrumbs. Then, I looked around again, still hoping to see my young neighbors. Or, were they now afraid of me, after my peculiar behavior, and would they try to avoid my house from now on? That would be very sad, because I really wanted to see them again, especially John and his burnt little Gypsy brother. Maybe, they had to go shopping first with their parents, or they had to do some chores first.

Still feeling tired from my unusual emotions, I closed my eyes and slowly dreamed away, while enjoying the nice warmth of the morning sun on my face and the quietness of my new surroundings. This was my new home; and I would make the best of it, with or without any neighborhood children and their burnt little Gypsy friend...

Suddenly, I sat upright, feeling VERY surprised about my own peculiar behavior! Why, for heaven's sake, was I thinking about these KIDS all the time? They were not my clients, I had never seen them before, and I had spoken to them only once, for crying out loud! Yet, these young children seemed to rule my life and dominate all my thoughts, especially John and his burnt 'little Gypsy brother'. Was I really becoming senile, at this way too young age? Never before had I felt this dependent on what was only a bunch of young neighborhood kids. Since yesterday, my whole life seemed to revolve solely around John and his burnt little Gypsy brother, as if they had become the center of my universe and the real meaning of my existence.

What the heck was happening to me? Where had I left my own free will? This certainly was not my usual 'professional' behavior as a well-trained psychotherapist, being retired or not! Obviously, I had to take this situation into my own hands immediately. Perhaps, I had to have an honest therapeutic look at my own behavior first? Hopefully, after I freed myself from my unwanted emotions and cleared my disturbing inner thoughts, my mind would be at peace again.

Leaning back, I closed my eyes and started to relive what had happened since yesterday, this time focusing on my own emotional reactions. First, I recalled five young neighborhood children, leaning against my closed iron gate while staring at what the 'ancient grandpa' was doing. The youngest girl started to fumble with its rusty lock, and five shocked looking kids tumbled over each other and into my driveway, shrieking with laughter! Fortunately, I liked children and always enjoyed working with them and helping them overcome their emotional problems. Many times, both my little clients and their grateful parents told me I was an excellent therapist, having an enormous amount of love and understanding for their troubled kids...

Next, I recalled the oldest boy, who asked where 'Harry' was, and seemed to be very fond of his 'little Gypsy brother'. Unexpectedly, my inside was sure it recognized this young boy with his deep brown eyes, as if he was my dearest friend and I had known him all my life! Although my analytical mind still refused to believe in 'new-age' things like 'reincarnation' or 'past lives', my inside seemed to be sure this young boy and I had been close friends of around the same age, during at least one of our 'past lives', including 'little Harry'...

Again feeling very uneasy, I discarded my strange ideas, and went on reliving what had happened since yesterday. So far, as a trained psychotherapist, I had always been in control of my own feelings and emotions. However, immediately when John told me about his burnt little Gypsy brother and nearly every stranger calling him a 'freak' or an 'alien', all my so carefully built up defense mechanisms fell into shambles! For the first time since I had trained myself to forget my own horrible youth, I lost my self-control and started to cry my heart out, not knowing what to do or how to cope with my emotions.

Surprisingly, I had a 'gut feeling' that somebody else could have arranged our meeting! Could Jack, the deceased former owner of my newly bought house and the 'Big Friend' of the little Gypsy boy he had rescued, have had a hand in this? Could Jack have ARRANGED our meeting in front of his former abode, knowing I was a psychotherapist and thus able to help his little Gypsy friend cope with his burns? Only, Jack was dead and buried since two months ago, and my too analytical mind stubbornly refused to believe in any 'ghostly' or 'spiritual' influences from 'the beyond'. Dead was dead; and death was the definitive end of everything! Everybody knows that! There had to be a more reasonable explanation; unless my rational mind was wrong in its assumptions, and strange new-age things like 'past lives' or 'reincarnation' were a reality I had to reckon with...

Why did I AGAIN feel little Joshie's energy around me, as if he watched over me as my 'guardian angel' or 'spirit guide'? Why was my inside sure I also felt Jack around me, the deceased former owner of my newly bought house? The strange feeling of being not alone was becoming stronger and stronger, so that my inside couldn't deny it any longer... Both the late Jack's and little Joshie's 'spirits' WERE here, on Jack's former porch, again making me sense the same perfect harmony I always felt when my little brother was around me.

Could my old Indian Shaman have been right, after all? Were really some people able to survive death and stay in or around their former property; to 'haunt' innocent people who unwittingly bought it, as I once saw in some weird 'paranormal' film? Still feeling very uneasy, I fled from my folding chair and hasted inside. Trying to distract my confused mind, I started to unpack the next cardboard box and put its contents away.

Only, within a second, I was again brooding about where the children and their burnt Gypsy friend could be now. Had they already forgotten about the 'ancient grandpa'? Or, had they decided to play somewhere else, and would they avoid my house from now on? That would be truly sad, because I really wanted to meet my 'former son from a past life' who seemed to need me, according to what Jack's warm and soulful voice told me after I had a frightening nightmare...

4. A talk with John; remembering past lives.

Suddenly, my doorbell rang, its loud sound harshly reverberating through the entire house. Involuntarily shuddering from the unexpected noise, I decided to buy a friendlier sounding doorbell, the first time I went downtown to refill my cupboards and refrigerator! How could the late Jack ever have lived with such a nasty sounding bell in his house? Muttering under my breath, I left my pile of cardboard boxes and sauntered to my front door, to brush off the unwelcome visitor I was sure I hadn't invited. This could be only another happy sounding sales representative who wanted to sell the 'new proprietor' an 'important' insurance policy I was sure I didn't need. Feeling a bit angry, I opened my front door and looked outside.

In sudden surprise, I looked at my 'former friend from a past life', John! After ringing my doorbell, he had politely stepped back into my front garden. From there, he stared at me, showing me two dark brown orbs that immediately pierced deeply into mine, as if searching my inside for any telltale signs of rejection. Could John be afraid I would be angry with his friends and with him, after my peculiar behavior and leaving everybody alone on my porch?

Again, John's appearance made me think of my deceased little brother, Joshie, who had the same curious looking deep brown eyes. Supposed little Joshie had survived death, grown up, and married, he and John could easily be father and son! At seeing my young friend back, my heart started to jump around in my chest with pure joy. My young neighbors hadn't forgotten me, and I would still be able to meet that burnt little Gypsy boy! Where were my other young friends? Had they sent John as their representative?

While opening my front door wide, I invited John in:

"Hi, my friend, I am happy to see you again! Please, come in, and would you care for another cup of tea?"

For a few seconds, John only stared at me, as if he tried to read my deepest intentions for any telltale signs of anger or rejection. Then, he stuttered, with a nervous sounding voice:

"Please, can I... oops, sorry, MAY I have a talk with you first?"

Still feeling happy to see my young friend back, I responded:

"Of course, you may! In fact, I would like to have a talk with you as well. Let's go to my kitchen and have a drink."

Hesitantly, John entered my hallway, this time politely waiting for me to shut my front door. Then, he slowly followed me towards my kitchen, although carefully keeping some distance. On my way, I first went to my hallway closet to get a second folding chair. Fortunately, I had purchased enough of them to be prepared for unexpected visitors.

After I put my second folding chair into place, both John and I sat down at the kitchen table, facing each other. Trying to make him feel more welcome, I smiled at my young friend and winked at him. Although John smiled back at me, he didn't say a word. Obviously, he didn't know how to start his talk with me.

Okay, again, it seemed to be up to me to break the ice and start our conversation. But, first, I asked my nervously blinking young friend:

"Would you care for another cup of tea, or hot chocolate?"

"May I please have cold milk instead? I don't like hot chocolate."

"Of course you may. Please, help yourself from my refrigerator, while I brew another cup of coffee."

John clearly remembered where I had put my drinking glasses, because he went straight to one of my cupboards and took one. Next, he went to my refrigerator, carried the milk to the kitchen table, and filled his glass; while I brewed my second cup of coffee and added two lumps of sugar. We sat down, sipping our drinks in silence and smiling at each other, while our tension slowly subsided.

After we finished our drinks, I decided to apologize for my strange behavior first:

"John, I feel very sorry for behaving so rudely! Yesterday, I hadn't planned to leave you and your friends alone on my porch like that. However, those two loathed words, 'freak' and 'alien', unexpectedly made me remember my own little brother and my difficult youth."

While talking to John, I again felt a couple of tears dripping down my face. Stealthily, I wiped them away, feeling a bit uneasy. What would John think of the again blubbering 'ancient grandpa'? Much to my surprise, John only looked concerned, as if he understood my sadness and wanted to help me!

At seeing John's concerned reaction, I decided to tell my young friend everything that had happened around Joshie's early death and my own horrible youth. My heart was now sure I could trust John and that he would never misuse any of my private confessions. Again, my inside 'remembered' John as being my dearest trapper friend from a past life, and I was sure we had been talking and listening to each other many times before.

Again, 'memories' showed up in my mind, of us sitting around a crackling fire, talking and drinking coffee. We were friends of around the same age, and my friend always babysat my little son while I was trading pelts for food and other necessities. My wife had died in childbirth; and I had to raise my baby son all alone, until the little imp was old enough to follow me everywhere and help me with everything. Suddenly, a hungry grizzly bear killed all three of us; and we returned to our Timeless Eternal Realm, where our Beloved Ancestors, Cosmic Friends, and Spiritual Helpers already waited for us...

Feeling shocked into my deepest core, I still didn't know what to think of all these unexpected and seemingly spontaneous 'remembrances' from my so-called 'past lives'. What if my old Indian Shaman had been right, and 'reincarnation' was a fact of life we had to reckon with, although most 'normal' people were living in their heads and therefore couldn't remember their own past lives?

Feeling a bit irritated, I shook my head to get rid of my unwanted memories, while forcing myself to return into the 'here and now'. For now, I didn't want to remember any more 'incarnations', 'past lives', or 'Timeless Eternal Realms'. Every sane and normal person knows that dead is dead, and death is the definite end of everything! Why should I think otherwise, only because I once met some old and probably senile Indian Shaman?

Quickly, I started to concentrate on my very concerned looking young friend, to tell him what had happened with my own burnt little brother during my own horrible youth. Still feeling a bit uneasy, I started to tell John how my little brother and I always were in perfect harmony, even after the little duffer put his hair and his clothes on fire while trying to light an unwilling candle. John looked a bit pale while I told him how I panicked and put my loudly screeching little brother under the shower, where he lost some burnt skin. Then, a howling ambulance brought Joshie to a hospital; where, day after day, I visited a silent little mummy, until my little brother finally returned home as a completely bald and mute cripple.

John shuddered while I told him how my parents blamed me for Joshie's ordeal and forced me to take my burnt little brother with me, when and wherever I wanted to go outside. John got tears in his eyes when I told him how everybody laughed at my burnt little brother and called him a 'freak' or an 'alien', and how all my former 'friends' made fun of Joshie. Finally, I told John about Joshie's liberating death and about my suppressed feelings of guilt and shame. Joshie went to heaven and was free, but I can still feel the burning fire in my soul!

Silently, I stared out my kitchen window at the loudly twittering sparrows that again chased after each other through the backyards. Only, this time, I didn't really see them, because my mind still lingered in my own horrible past, reliving my guilt, my old pain, and all those humiliations. My eyes slowly filled with tears and started to drip, but I remained unaware of them, because I still dwelled in my own sad world full of bitter agony.

Slowly, I woke up from my lingering sadness, because I felt two comforting arms around my shoulders, while a small hand touched my wet face and gently wiped my dripping tears away. Unseen, John had left his chair and walked around the kitchen table, to help and comfort me. After he wiped my tears away, he even started to massage my too tense shoulders! When John saw me slowly returning into the here and now, he smiled and told me:

"Don't bottle it up, sir. In a few minutes, you will feel a lot better!"

Feeling truly amazed, I looked at my young friend and stared into his deep brown wise orbs. What a surprising amount of wisdom in what was 'only' a young child! Who was the real psychotherapist here? Much to my own surprise, I already started to feel better! Within a few minutes, all my bad memories had faded away, while my inside started to feel like being born again. This caring thirteen-year-old boy must have a gold mine in his heart, overflowing with Pure Love and Healing Power. Wow, what a special child was he!

Feeling thankful for John's concern and spontaneous help, I folded my arms around his surprisingly firm frame and pulled him towards my chest... Immediately, John cozily leaned into me. From there, he looked up at me while sending me another amount of warmth and Love through his deep brown orbs. Then, he told me:

"Perhaps it sounds a bit strange; but I am sure that you and I have been very close friends in at least one of our past lives! Of course, in this life, I am still a young boy and you are already a grownup; but, in our past lives, we were grownup friends of around the same age, while Harry was your own little son and I always babysat him while you had to go to town to exchange pelts for food and other goods."

Feeling totally baffled, I could only stare at John, while my too analytical mind was making overtime. Could John really remember the same trapper life where he and I had been close friends of the same age and Harry was my own little son? But, then, my 'remembrances' from our 'past lives' had to be TRUE! From now on, I could no longer deny the truth. My old Indian Shaman had been RIGHT, with his strange belief that our so-called 'souls' were eternal and immortal; only temporarily returning to our mortal Planet Earth to live and develop here, time after time, until we were ready to return to our timeless Eternal Realm and stay there forever...

For quite some time, I only stared at John; while he bashfully smiled at me, as if he hoped I wouldn't be mad at him for his being too disrespectful and telling me what he remembered or sensed... Finally, feeling full of even more Pure Love for my re-found best friend from at least one of our 'past lives', I smiled back at John and pulled him even closer to my chest.

While John cozily nestled into my arms, something wonderful happened between him and me that I could only describe as a magically growing feeling of mutual and powerful Eternal Love. My inside was now sure that John and I would be close friends forever, although he was 'only' a young boy and I was already an 'old man'. During several 'past lives', we had been very good friends of about the same age! Now, I was even more eager to meet 'little Harry', who once had been my own little son and John's little friend, until a hungry grizzly bear showed up and killed us.

After a long time of cuddling and getting tears in our eyes from mutual recognition and sheer happiness, I unwillingly unfolded my arms from John's waist and worked my three clean handkerchiefs out of my pocket. Where could my packet of tissues be, now that we needed it? First, I used one handkerchief to wipe both John's tears and mine. Then, we both blew our noses in the remaining two.

At last, John started to fidget while he sighed:

"Sorry, sir, but I have to go to the bathroom..."

First, he put his strong arms around my neck and hugged me fiercely! Wow, I already started to love my affectionate young friend more and more, while my inside was now sure that John really was my best friend from several of our past lives. Apart from that, in this life, he certainly was working his way deeply into my heart!

Feeling wonderful, I teasingly put a kiss onto John's forehead. My action made him snicker and wipe the kiss away, while he helpfully pulled me to my feet. He also took my three wet handkerchiefs from the kitchen table and neatly put them onto my sink. Obviously, my young friend was a lot tidier than I had been at that age!

Walking together while pushing each other like little children, we frolicked towards the hallway. After waiting for each other to bless the ceramic god in turn, we returned to the kitchen sink to wash our hands. Teasingly, John splashed some water drops at me and dived away to escape my wrath, until I suddenly grabbed my snickering young friend and pushed his head under the streaming water tap.

My teasing action made John growl and splutter:

"You are mean! Just wait until I am a bit older and stronger, and you are a bit older and senile."

Chuckling at John's clever use of words, I took the only kitchen towel I had been able to find, and offered one side to John. Teasingly, we tried to dry each other's wet faces and hands, while playfully mock fighting to have some more of the same towel. It took some time; but, at last, our faces and hands were more or less dry. Again, we returned to the kitchen table and sat down on our folding chairs.

Still smiling at each other, I told John:

"Thank you, my young friend, for listening to my sad story and comforting me. Your friendship and warm support helped me tremendously! You are a nice cuddle bear with a heart full of love and understanding, and I am very happy to be your older friend."

Looking back at me with a brightly beaming face and sparkling deep brown eyes, John responded:

"You are very welcome, sir, and your cuddles and warm support helped me too. You too are a very nice cuddle bear, with an enormous heart filled to the brim with love, and I am very happy to be your young friend! You know, yesterday, my friends and I were afraid you could be angry with us, because you suddenly left us and went inside. Therefore, this morning, after my little brother and I talked about you, I decided to go to your house and ask you what had happened... But, now, I understand why you couldn't tell us anything. Therefore, thank you very much for trusting me and telling me your sad story. I am sure you and I will be good friends again and probably forever, although, in this life, you are a lot older than I am. Besides, I told Harry about you, but he already knew what had happened, and he confessed he regrets fleeing away from you after you saw him and waved at him. He also told me he was a little bit afraid of you, because you seemed to be angry and kicked a chair across your living room."

"Yes, I remember kicking a chair out of the way. I only didn't know that Harry could be spying on me."

"Harry has always been very good at spying and hiding, because of his Gypsy nature and hunting for animals in a forest. He also told me he was afraid to let you see his burnt face, because he doesn't want to be disappointed again. Too many people have laughed at him, called him a 'freak' and an 'alien', or shooed him away when they saw his freaky burns for the first time."

"Now that you've told me this, I can understand Harry's fears, and I am sorry for blowing my chance to meet him."

"This time, I have to disagree with you, because you did not blow any chances at all. Now, Harry knows that you accept him and care about him! Only, he is still very afraid of being disappointed again. Only his Big Friend, Jack, never reacted shocked or laughed at him. Officially, Harry lives in our house; but, in reality, he lived with Jack. Here, in what is now your house, he had his own room with all his belongings, upstairs, second door to the left. Jack also tutored Harry, taught him our language and habits, and always helped him with everything that he needed. Jack also visited him every day when he had to be in a hospital for his umpteenth skin operation. I think that Jack was Harry's father, his mother, and his best friend, all in one..."

Again, John fell silent, while furtively wiping a couple of stray tears from his face. Obviously, he still cared very much for his 'little Gypsy brother' who had such an enormous burden to endure. Where the heck had I left my huge packet of tissues, now that I needed it? Probably, it was still packed away in one of my unopened cardboard boxes. Therefore, I just took one of my wet handkerchiefs from the sink and offered it to John.

With a grateful smile, John searched for a dry corner. Fortunately, he was able to find a relatively dry spot, and used it to wipe his stray tears away. Then, he went on, sounding a bit shivery:

"In about a week, Harry has to go back to the hospital, because his doctors want to loosen some too tight skin and give him a slightly better nose and lips. Of course, Harry has been in a hospital many times before, but he has never before felt so alone and scared. I am sure he still misses Jack terribly. His Big Friend always cheered him up and let him see the positive side of everything, even when nearly all the things in his life seemed to go wrong... Two months ago, in the middle of the night, Jack sent Harry in a hurry to our house to wake my parents and me, because he didn't feel well. When we arrived in his bedroom, Jack was already dead; but he had a faint smile on his face, as if he knew he had done the right thing by sending Harry away in time. Since that night, Harry lives with us, but we have to share my bedroom, and all his belongings are stowed away in our garage. Every night, Harry crawls into my bed and sleeps next to me, because he used to sleep next to Jack and hates sleeping alone."

Again, John wiped a few stray tears away, before he went on:

"Although Harry can see Jack's spirit and can talk to him if he wishes, he has been angry with his former Big Friend for a long time, for suddenly abandoning him and leaving him alone. Fortunately, he has now made up with Jack and they are friends again. This morning, Jack told Harry he likes the new owner of his house, and we think that has to be you. That is the main reason why I am here."

Furtively, John probed my eyes, this time showing some fear in his deep brown orbs. Was John afraid I would reject the possibility of Jack's spirit being around his little brother and him? Many people are afraid of so-called 'ghosts' or 'spirits', and they don't want to have to do anything about such a 'new-age believer'.

How would my young friend react if I told him I too had sensed Jack's spirit around me, accompanied by my own little brother? Would John believe me; or would he think I had made up some nice parallel story, to reassure him and make him feel better?

At the same time, my own heart was sure I could tell John everything about my experiences, without any fear. My young 'friend from a past life' seemed to have a very open mind, and my gut feeling told me that Jack's spirit could have contacted John as well! John only wanted to play it safe until he knew how I reacted.

Deciding to listen to my own gut feeling, I responded:

"Yesterday afternoon, I too felt Jack's spirit around me on my porch. He even pointed me to my backyard where your little brother spied on me from within a thick bush. And, last night, after I had a nightmare, I heard Jack's voice in my inside, telling me that your little brother needs me! Now, I am very happy to know that Harry's former 'Big Friend' is still around him and watches over him."

With a beaming face and sparkling eyes, John exclaimed:

"I KNEW you would be one of us! I just knew it. Now, I am sure that Jack brought you here, in his former house, to be Harry's new Big Friend and help him get over his loss. I am also sure that you and Harry will become close friends, because my little brother needs another Big Friend in his life. He just cannot cope without another loving grown-up to encourage him and cheer him up, especially when he has to go to a hospital for his next skin surgery. Harry still misses his own Dad and Mom terribly, and I think he also looks out for sort of a replacement Dad, to raise him and help him grow up until he will be old enough to fend for himself."

Of course, I again decided to help the burnt little Gypsy boy, who needed another 'Big Friend' or a 'replacement Dad' in his life and just couldn't cope without a loving grownup to encourage him and cheer him up! Had really Jack's spirit brought me towards his former house to let me buy it? Could Jack also have arranged meeting my little neighbors, knowing that a trained psychotherapist was going to live in his former house? Or, had little Joshie's spirit pointed me to Jack's and Harry's former abode?

A speculative thought crossed my mind... Could Jack and Joshie be 'Big Friends' too, in wherever they were living now, in 'heaven' or in 'the beyond'? Had they been working together to guide me towards Jack's former house, and were they still working together? That would explain why I always felt Joshie's energy around me while I heard Jack's grownup voice in my inside.

Only, my too rational mind stubbornly refused to believe in a 'life after death', or in any 'messages from the beyond'. My brain was still convinced that 'dead was dead'; and anything else could be nothing more than some weird 'new-age' belief. Despite what I had experienced and what I had told John, Jack's warm and soulful voice in my inside COULD have been a product of my own imagination!

Maybe, I would be able to change my mind after somebody PROVED the existence of so-called 'Spirit Guides'... but, of course, that would never happen. Apart from that, I still wanted to meet that burnt little Gypsy boy, especially after Jack's voice in my inside had told me: 'You are approaching your destiny, and your boy needs you.' Clearly, Jack already assumed that Harry would be MY boy...

Trying to get some more information from John, I asked:

"John? Have you ever seen Jack's spirit?"

"Sure, but only faintly, because I cannot see Jack's spirit as well as Harry does. It's more as if I can feel Jack's presence, or as if I am aware of a subtle change in the atmosphere. I know that Jack tries to talk to me, but I mostly cannot understand what he says. However, at this same moment, I can sense Jack's spirit over there, standing in that corner of your kitchen and listening to our conversation."

WHAT? Could John really be sensing Jack's 'spirit', standing in a corner of my kitchen and listening to our conversation? Stealthily, I peeked at that same corner... and my chin dropped almost to the floor! Was I really seeing some faint mist in that particular corner, as if there could be sort of a 'ghostly' presence? Or, was my confused mind making up that hazy mist, because it expected to see some 'ghostly' form in that corner? Surprisingly, I also felt Joshie's well-known harmony, seemingly radiating from that same corner, as if he stood there and stared at me with his knowing eyes!

Feeling a bit irritated, I quickly tore myself loose from that corner and returned to the here and now. For today, I had lived through more than enough 'ghostly' surprises! Yet, I still wanted to meet 'little Harry'. Would John be able to convince my little namesake to join him towards my house and pay me a visit? Or, would Harry be too scared after he suddenly fled from my backyard, and would he now try to stay away from me? That would be truly sad.

Deciding to give it a chance, I asked John:

"John? Could you please try to convince your little brother to pay me a visit? Maybe, you could tell him first that I am already used to seeing a boy with a burnt face, because of my own burnt brother."

While John's eyes started to sparkle with joy, he exclaimed:

"Yes, sir, that is an excellent idea! I will first tell Harry a few things about you and your burnt little brother, so that he knows he doesn't need to be scared any more. And, thank you very much for wanting to meet Harry! I promise I will bring him here as soon as possible, without letting him run away again. You can count on me, and I will be right back."

Together, we left our folding chairs and stepped towards the kitchen door... Suddenly, John jumped up at me and trustfully let me catch his heavy frame in midair! The impact of his weight made my old spine groan with the effort, while John threw his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist. Feeling very surprised, I threw my arms around my young friend's firm frame and held him close to my chest. Wow! Every time he did such an unexpected thing, I started to love him even more! Probably, John had done this many times before with Jack, who obviously had been John's 'Big Friend' too, although his 'little brother' clearly had first rights.

Although I tried to suppress my 'remembrances', they again showed up in my mind, this time of the grownup John and I chasing after my squealing little son, who tried to escape from our combined tickle-tortures. After we caught him, we smothered him with 'little kisses', until the little imp nearly wet his pants and promised us to better his life; until he again challenged us to chase after him.

Could there, after all, really be some truth in living more than one life on earth? Why did I have all those strange 'memories' of John and I being best friends, while my little son frolicked around us? Why were John and I already feeling so totally at ease with each other, from the first moment we met? If only my confused mind could have some undeniable proof...

John and I continued our cuddling, still basking in each other's heartwarming feelings of mutual friendship, while even more faint 'memories' showed up in my mind; this time of us hunting together in a dangerous forest, catching wild deer to sell their pelts. Mostly, my little son accompanied us and tried to 'help' us, or he teased us until we caught him and 'taught him a lesson'.

Had I really had my own little son, in my past life as a trapper, while John was a grownup trapper and our dearest friend? Had my own little son returned to earth, to be John's 'little brother' and probably soon be 'my boy'? If so, I felt even more eager to meet him!

While heaving a deep sigh of utmost content, John let himself slide down onto his feet while he told me:

"I'm going home now; but I will be right back and bring Harry to you as soon as possible."

First, John took his empty glass and my coffee cup from the kitchen table, and put them into the sink. Then, he put the milk back into the refrigerator, before he hasted outside. Again, John seemed to be a lot tidier than I had been at that age.

Surprisingly, after John's unexpected visit, my old and a bit rusty body felt more alive and kicking than it had ever felt before! My affectionate young friend with his healing powers and his big heart full of caring love clearly had an astonishing refreshing impact on my mental health. It felt wonderful to have such a lovable young buddy at my side, although I was already an 'old man' and John was 'only' a young boy. I really hoped he would return soon, preferable accompanied by his 'little Gypsy brother' who once had been my own little son... unless my 'memories from a past life' were only some weird product of my own imagination.

But, then, why did John remember exactly the same things from our so-called 'past lives', including me having my own little son who had returned to my former friend as 'little Harry'? If only my too analytical mind could have some undeniable proof...

5. Seeing Jack's 'spirit'; meeting 'little Harry'.

My kitchen felt strangely empty, now that John had left my house to encourage his little brother to join him to my house and meet me. Still feeling vague, I slumped down on my folding chair, absent-mindedly staring at the twittering sparrows in my backyard that happily chased after each other. So many inexplicable things had happened, in such an unbelievable short time... Yesterday morning, I had arrived in my newly bought house in this small village, to enjoy the rest of my retirement here, in peace and quiet. Almost immediately, I met a thirteen-year-old boy I recognized from at least one of our 'past lives', and he seemed to recognize me too. At the same time, I remembered I once had a little son, although I never before believed in any weird 'new-age' things like 'past lives' or 'reincarnations'.

Now, John and I had sensed Jack's 'ghost' or 'spirit' in my kitchen, who was the deceased former owner of my house; and 'little Harry' seemed to be able to see Jack's spirit and even talk to his deceased 'Big Friend'! Last night, I had heard Jack's warm and soulful voice in my inside, telling me loud and clear: 'You are approaching your destiny, and your boy needs you'. At that same moment, I had felt my own little brother around me and sensed his so well known energy of being in perfect harmony with each other! This was absolutely unbelievable; unless my still totally baffled mind could accept the incredulous fact of living more than one life on earth.

Had really John, little Harry, and I known each other before, and had really Jack's 'spirit' guided me to his former house, to meet John here and probably soon my burnt little Gypsy boy? Stealthily, I peeked at the same corner where John had sensed Jack's energy and where I had seen some sort of hazy mist. Much to my surprise, the same hazy mist was still there, slowly becoming even more visible! At the same time, a faint draft started to whirl around in my kitchen, involuntarily giving me goose bumps all over my arms and legs. What the heck was happening here, in my own kitchen? Could this faint hazy mist be the 'spirit' of the deceased former owner of my newly bought house, Jack? Was Jack visiting his former house from 'the beyond', and was he now trying to contact its new owner? Plus, was my own little brother, Joshie, around me as well?

An unusual idea popped up in my mind, making me think... Could the 'spirits' of Jack and little Joshie be the same person? Did dead people grow up in 'heaven' and become older? After my nightmare, my 'spirit guide' felt like little Joshie, but he had talked to me with the grownup voice of Jack! Then, an even stranger idea popped up in my mind... Could Jack be the next 'incarnation' of Joshie? Had my little brother returned to earth, around fifty years ago, to be reborn and grow up as Jack who bought this house and lived in it until he died? If so, this fully explained why I always felt both Jack's and little Joshie's energy around me at the same time! If only my more and more baffled brain could have some undeniable proof...

In the meantime, all the sounds in my kitchen started to mute, as if some thick blanket wrapped itself around everything; while a faint shape of a huge cathedral started to build up around my kitchen, as if shielding me from any interfering outside energies. I even thought I smelled a faint scent of wild flowers or aromatic incense, while I also heard some ethereal 'celestial chorus' singing beautiful songs in the background. The air in my kitchen became even chillier, giving me more goose bumps all over my body. This was becoming eerie!

Some time ago, I had seen a spooky fantasy film about a nasty 'ghost' haunting innocent people who had bought its former house. Only, I never thought I could be its next victim! Now, I also started to feel tired and a bit drowsy, as if somebody could have drugged me, while my inside started to feel extraordinarily calm. What the heck was happening to me, here in my own kitchen for crying out loud... Was I suddenly dying without knowing it, and would I soon leave earth and enter 'heaven', or perhaps 'hell'?

Feeling mystified, and also a little bit afraid, I stared in surprise at some vague human form that faintly showed up through the slowly moving mist. While I wondered who or what this faint human form could be, the mist changed into the transparent form of a real man. The still transparent man looked at me with his deep brown eyes full of love and compassion, and SMILED at me!

To say I felt 'dumbstruck' is not strong enough to express my confused feelings of that moment, because I immediately recognized Joshie's intensely staring eyes and knowing smile, as if the imp knew something important that I didn't need to know yet! This faint and almost transparent 'spirit' really looked like a fifty-year-old grownup version of my deceased little brother, while his warm eyes stared at me with the same mysterious intensity as before!

At seeing his knowing smile, I was absolutely sure that this 'ghost' belonged to my own little brother, Joshie, who obviously had reincarnated and now was a grownup! This time, I could no longer deny it. Without any doubt, Jack WAS the next 'incarnation' of little Joshie, who had grown up and now was around fifty years old! Surprisingly, Jack's 'spirit' also looked like John, having the same deep brown eyes and dark brown hair with little curls at the edges. For a moment, I even thought that Jack and John easily could be father and son, because they were looking so much alike.

Still smiling at me, Jack's faint 'spirit' stretched his ghostly hands out towards me. At that same moment, an extremely powerful wave of Pure Cosmic Love started to engulf my body and my soul, making me feel drowsy, and warm, and safe, and all mushy inside. Never before had I felt being loved like this, while I opened my aura to Jack's Pure Love and basked in the joyful feeling of being healed into my deepest core. Obviously, Jack's spirit was an even more powerful healer than his son John seemed to be!

After a couple seconds of basking in Jack's powerful love and warmth, I heard his voice, as if coming from within my own inside. Immediately, I recognized the same warm and soulful voice I had heard before, after I had my frightening nightmare, when Jack's spirit told me: 'You are approaching your destiny, and your boy needs you'. This time, Jack's warm and soulful voice told me:

"My dear brother; finally, I can give you your 'undeniable proof'! Once I was your little brother who burnt himself to death. From our Timeless Eternal Realm, I reincarnated immediately, to help your son from a past live and bring him to you. Please stop feeling guilty, because you only helped me redeem some old Karma, and nothing has been your fault! Both you and I had to live through our own experiences, to develop more Universal Love and Cosmic Awareness. Therefore, please stop doubting, and only listen to what your Own Heart tells you. Many devoted Spirit Friends and Cosmic Helpers are around you and your steadily growing family, to help you when and wherever we are allowed. Working together, we will guide you onto your chosen path that also is ours. You will soon start to remember many more things about who you are in reality. For now, may our Supreme Being bless you, your former son who is about to show up in your life, and our affectionate young friend who will again be your devoted helper."

Slowly, my hazy 'Spirit Guide' turned around, faded away, and disappeared into thin air. The chilly air in my kitchen started to warm up, and my goose bumps went away. The huge cathedral and the angelic chorus vanished, the thick blanket unwrapped from the muted sounds, and everything else in my kitchen returned to 'normal'. Still feeling tired and disorientated, I looked around in utter surprise, listened to the returning sounds of the twittering sparrows in my backyard, and didn't know any more what to believe...

Today, I had seen a 'spirit' or 'ghost', here in my own kitchen, felt his Love and healing energy engulfing my body and my soul, and heard his warm and soulful voice in my inside, while I recognized him as being the 'next incarnation' of my own little brother... I needed a BREAK! All my life, I had presumed that seeing a 'ghost' or a 'spirit' could only be some weird trick of your own imagination. However, today, I had both seen and heard such a 'spirit', and he even talked to me in my inside! Or, had this faint and hazy form been a 'ghost', or maybe a 'guardian angel'? What could be the difference?

Then, it started to bother me that I had heard Jack's voice in my inside, instead of the words coming out of his mouth! Why was that? Could I have made that 'ghostly' voice up in my own mind? Of course, as a psychotherapist, I was familiar with ill people 'seeing hallucinations' and 'hearing voices'. Up to now, I had always assumed that my own mind was relatively sane and healthy. However, after going through these 'ghostly' experiences, I wasn't so sure any more...

Immediately, my rational mind took over and started to doubt. Something had to be severely wrong with me! I had obviously started hallucinating and creating weird illusions in my mind. Therefore, I had to find a reliable 'shrink' immediately, to check my mental health and put me under the necessary medication! What coincidence that I happened to be such a 'shrink' myself. Would I still be 'reliable'?

Worriedly, I decided to do a couple of quick psychological tests on myself. If my hallucinating brain had concocted these strange illusions all on its own, it would also be able to recreate them all on its own! Therefore, testing my mental sanity would be relatively easy.

First, I tried to recreate the well-known feeling of sensing little Joshie around me... but my kitchen felt empty and it stayed empty. Next, I tried to create some misty and hazy form in a corner of my kitchen... but nothing happened. I tried to fantasize a huge cathedral around my kitchen, with a singing celestial chorus in the background... but everything around me stayed the same. I tried to reproduce Jack's warm and soulful voice in my inside... but my inside was silent and it stayed silent! Finally, albeit reluctantly, my baffled mind could come up with only one reasonable conclusion: I had really seen and heard Jack's 'spirit', showing up in a corner of my kitchen! Or, had this hazy form been a 'ghost', or maybe my 'guardian angel'?

Fact was that I HAD seen the deceased former owner of my house, Jack, who also turned out to be the next incarnation of my own little brother, Joshie. Therefore, albeit unintentionally, I had PROVEN to my own inside that I had really seen Jack's 'spirit' or 'ghost', unexpectedly showing up in my own kitchen! Of course, this conclusion also turned my entire convenient and normal world upside down. From now on, my sanely structured life would nevermore be the same.

Feeling confused and a bit shaky, I rose from my folding chair and returned to my pile of cardboard boxes. As on autopilot, I went on sorting my possessions and putting them into the various cabinets and cupboards. In the meantime, I desperately tried to divert my still entangled thoughts, by concentrating on what I was doing. Very much to my delight, I finally found my packet of tissues, lying on the bottom of the next cardboard box. From now on, I would be fully prepared in case anyone needed a wagonload of tissues to dry their tears or blow their nose! Happily, I trotted upstairs and put the packet of tissues where I was sure I could easily find it if needed.

After returning downstairs, I went back to my pile of cardboard boxes and opened the next one, to empty it and put its contents away into the various cabinets and cupboards. Again, my thoughts returned to my burnt little Gypsy boy, who missed a 'Big Friend' in his life and just couldn't cope without one. Why did I feel so strangely longing to meet my little namesake, every time I thought of him as being 'my boy'? Was that because 'little Harry' once was my own little son, during one of our past lives, while John had been our best friend?

Then, I started to think about what Jack's 'spirit' had told me. Jack had confirmed that he was the next incarnation of my own little brother! Had I really helped little Joshie redeem 'some old Karma'? Could Joshie have burnt himself to death on purpose? That was almost unbelievable! And, would really many devoted 'Spirit Friends' and 'Cosmic Helpers' be around me and my steadily growing family, to help me when and wherever they are allowed? By the way, why would I have a 'steadily growing family', at my age? Ultimately, I was only an old and retired psychotherapist...

Jack's spirit had spoken of 'YOUR former son'; but he had said 'OUR affectionate young friend'. Why had Jack made such a strange difference between 'your son' and 'our friend'? Had that been a slip of the tongue, or was there a hidden meaning behind Jack's words?

Suddenly, my loud doorbell rang again, its irritating sound harshly shaking me out of my reveries! Muttering under my breath, I realized I had to replace that wicked thing as soon as possible, before it caused me to have a heart attack. However, first, I had to open my front door, to brush off the unwelcome sales representative I was sure I hadn't invited. Or, had John already talked to his 'little brother'? Were John and 'little Harry' now waiting at my front door to let them in? I had already started calling him 'little Harry', to distinguish my little namesake from me as being 'Big Harry'... Quickly, I went to my front door and opened it wide, suddenly feeling nervous.

Five children huddled together on my porch, playfully pushing each other while expectantly looking up at me. A sixth child shyly hid behind his friends, while a motherly looking Marrie tried to push him forward. Here were all the young neighbors I had missed so much, including 'little Harry'! Only, why was 'my boy' trying to hide his burnt face from my view? Hadn't John told him about my own burnt little brother? Or, did he still need some more time to feel at ease in the company of this stranger he had never met before?

Enthusiastically, I invited my young friends in, by exclaiming:

"What a pleasant surprise! Please, come in, all of you, and would you care for another drink?"

Then, I turned around and ambled back inside, without waiting for my young friends to follow me, because I thought they might feel a bit safer when they were allowed to enter the house of this bearded 'stranger' voluntarily. My idea seemed to work, because everybody just followed me inside, including little Harry.

On the way to my kitchen, I first collected five more folding chairs from my hallway closet. Fortunately, I had bought plenty of them, to be prepared for any unexpected visitors... Only, how do you carry five unwilling folding chairs at the same time, without getting entangled? My young friend, John, started to chuckle at my clumsy efforts to keep all of them folded at the same time. Then, he rescued me, by helping me drag them towards the kitchen. Working together, we unfolded all five chairs and neatly placed them around the kitchen table, next to the two folding chairs that already were there.

In the meantime, everybody had followed us and now huddled together in a corner of my kitchen. Four children looked around curiously or smiled at me bashfully, while John stepped towards them and joined his friends. Unfortunately, I still couldn't see the sixth child who shyly hid behind the huddle. Obviously, 'little Harry' still didn't want me to see his burnt face! Why was that? Hadn't John told his 'little brother' that I was already used to seeing a young boy with a badly burnt face, because of my own burnt little brother?

John had placed himself in front of his friends, looking proud, while Thomas stepped directly behind John as if looking for protection. Chrissy was again giggling while playfully pushing Mark into Thomas. Marrie still had her arms around a hesitant little boy, while she in vain tried to push him forward and towards me.

Although 'my boy' still tried to hide his burnt face from my view, I now could see some more of him. Again, I wondered about his hair that was of a light brownish color, nearly white. John had told me that little Harry was a Gypsy boy, and I always thought that all Gypsies had dark hair. Could one of his deceased parents be of a non-Gypsy origin? That would also explain his bright blue eyes.

Fortunately, he didn't look too much like my own little brother, who had lost all his hair and was completely bald. His hands looked relatively undamaged, but his uncovered arms clearly showed a couple of reddish scars and colored stains. While hoping to see some more of 'my boy', I told my waiting friends:

"Please, sit down, and let me take your order for a drink."

John was the first one who moved away from the herd. He went straight to my refrigerator, obviously already feeling at home. Carrying a bottle of milk, he went to the kitchen table and sat down. In the meantime, I collected six drinking glasses and put them in front of the folding chairs. Thomas still seemed to hesitate, but he went to the table and sat down, very close to John.

I laughed at the suddenly shy rascal, and asked him:

"Sir Thomas, what is your order? Milk, hot chocolate, or tea?"

"Err... Can I... oops... MAY I have hot chocolate, please?"

Still laughing, I took John's already opened bottle of milk from the table and poured some into a pan. First, I put the pan onto my electric cook top, planning to heat the milk. Then, I decided to wait for the other children. Perhaps, they wanted to have hot chocolate as well. I turned around, and saw that Mark and Chrissy had already joined John and Thomas at the kitchen table. Still giggling and pushing each other, they were waiting for me to take their orders. At the same time, Marrie tried to push a hesitating little boy towards me.

Finally, I was able to see some more of my blond-haired little Gypsy friend. Although his body seemed to be a tad too small for being eight years old, his firm and lithe frame looked relatively strong and healthy. Only, he still held his head down, as if he was afraid to show me his burnt face. Why was my boy still hesitating to show me his burns? Hadn't John told him that I was already used to having a burnt child around, because of my own little brother?

Out of professional habit, I switched into my 'therapist mode', to read my boy's aura and interpret his body language. Tuning in into my boy's energy field, I was again very surprised to find out that this boy was NOT afraid of me! In fact, never before had I sensed such an enormous lot of Inner Power and self-consciousness in such a young child! This little Gypsy boy was very proud of himself, again showing me a demeanor as if he could be a little Aristocrat. His body language told me he was afraid, but only to be disappointed in his own expectations. Obviously, too many people had reacted shocked, called him names, shooed him away, or rejected him rudely, at seeing his so terribly burnt face for the first time.

Again, my inside felt a strong connection, as if I recognized my own little son from our past trapper life. Again, my inside wanted to rescue my boy from an attacking grizzly bear, so that I wanted to pull him into my arms to never let him go again! Fortunately, my mind was still working, and I didn't want to make the same fault twice by acting too fast and rushing things. Therefore, I decided to let my boy make his own decisions in his own time. I only opened my heart towards him and started to send him as much Universal Love as I was able to muster. Hoping he would again pick up at least some of my words, I also tried to 'talk' to him in my mind. Silently, I 'told' him he could trust me and that I really wanted to be his new friend.

Immediately, my boy lifted his head and stared deeply into my eyes, as if he felt my Universal Love and picked up all my unspoken words! Two very bright blue eyes pierced straight into mine, while his powerful aura wavered out and effortlessly contacted my deepest core. This extremely special child had the most fascinating eyes that I had ever seen. His deep blue orbs showed me an enormous amount of Inner Pride, and a more than superior intelligence. At the same time, they also showed me a deep sadness and a longing to belong to a loving and caring grownup who would accept him for who he was, and who would help him grow up in our too hostile world.

My boy's piercing eyes also reminded me of the old Indian Shaman I once consulted. The Shaman had stared at me with the same penetrating eyes, while effortlessly reading my deepest intentions. Could this tiny Gypsy boy be an upcoming Shaman, maybe without knowing where he was heading? Or, did all young Gypsy children possess such extremely powerful abilities?

Feeling shocked, I suddenly found out that my little 'upcoming Shaman' went straight through all my so carefully built-up emotional defenses! His powerful aura energy dived directly into my deepest core, obviously to find out who I was in reality. Effortlessly, he found all my hidden thoughts and quickly paged through them. Could this little Shaman be a 'mind reader' as well, next to being a 'clairvoyant'?

Soon, the entire world around my boy and me ceased to exist. My entire structured and controlled world faded away, until I was solely aware of two bottomless blue orbs that effortlessly sucked in the remainders of my emotional defenses! Within a few seconds, I had to use all my strength, to tear myself loose from his penetrating gaze and to regain at least some of my quickly crumbling posture. I also felt an extremely strong feeling of recognition that left me almost breathless. My heart was absolutely sure that I already knew this so special little Gypsy Shaman who effortlessly stole my thoughts, my love, my heart, and my soul! At the same time, my inside was sure that I had been at least my boy's equal during several past lives, and almost certainly possessed even more powerful 'Shaman' and 'Mage' abilities!

A strong wave of pure happiness overwhelmed my inside, making me tremble with pride and joy. This extremely powerful little Shaman was the REAL reason why I was here! I had been waiting for this special child all my life, while preparing myself to be able to help and guide 'my boy' through his difficult youth. Even becoming a psychotherapist, working with troubled children, and studying all the useful 'alternative' things like 'aura reading and healing', had been a thorough preparation to be here for 'my boy' when he finally showed up in my life and needed my guidance! Was this what Jack had meant, when he told me after I woke up from my nightmare: 'You are approaching your destiny, and your boy needs you'?

Tearing myself loose from my boy's penetrating gaze, I tried to regain at least some 'normal' composure as a trained psychotherapist. I also took a couple of deep breaths, to force myself to return into the 'here and now'. Ultimately, as a responsible grownup, I had to keep this situation in my own hands, because I couldn't allow myself to show any weaknesses towards such a small child. Or, could I?

In the meantime, my 'little Shaman' freed himself from Marries arms, still probing my eyes and reading my deepest intentions. For a second, he seemed to wait for any negative reactions, now that I was able to see his so terribly burnt face. Would I really accept him and want to be his new Big Friend? Or, would I soon reject him, as so many others had done after they saw his burns... When nothing happened, my boy took a couple of quick steps towards me, until I was able to feel his surprisingly warm body heat. There, he stopped, as if he wanted to wait for ME to take the next step...

Feeling a deep reverence, I 'read' my boy's aura field, in which I sensed a Very Old Soul and Wise Cosmic Master, temporarily living in this small body while waiting until he had grown up enough to start fulfilling his Important Task on Earth, working closely together with ME! Again, I remembered my old Indian Shaman. According to him, my soul already possessed many powerful 'Cosmic Abilities', but I would be able to use all my powers only after I first met a couple of former 'Cosmic Friends' from my past lives, and we started working together. Only, what were those 'Cosmic Abilities', and had I really been such a powerful Shaman myself?

Even stranger memories started to show up in my confused mind, of being a famous Gypsy Leader, nicknamed 'Gypsy Monarch Harold the Great'. In that past life, my little Shaman had been a grownup and my Beloved Vice Leader, while John was his little son and totally devoted to me! In that past life, working closely together, my boy and I had founded our modern Gypsy way of living, with much more Caring Love, Freedom, Understanding, and Compassion...

6. Meeting - and losing - my little Soul Mate.

Again, I didn't know what to think of all those strange revelations. Had I really been a famous Gypsy Leader, during one of my past lives? Or, was I suddenly becoming senile, at this way too young age, and was my mind playing tricks with my confused old brain? If only I could have some undeniable proof...

Again, I pulled myself together, before my confused mind disappeared completely into what could be only a strange daydream. Of course, I had never been a 'Beloved Gypsy Monarch Harold the Great', while little Harry was my grownup Vice Leader and my best friend, and John was little Harry's own son and totally devoted to me.

Forgetting about the waiting children and their drinking orders, I sank onto one knee, to be on the same level as my little Gypsy friend. Still feeling a deep reverence, I opened my arms towards my so extremely special boy, as if inviting him into my embrace. Feeling as if coming out of a deep trance, I heard myself beg:

"Hi, my friend, you must be Harry. May I have a hug, please?"

Immediately, my little Gypsy Shaman turned into what looked like a vulnerable little boy! All of a sudden, he seemed to feel unsure, while staring at me wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Obviously, he hadn't expected to get such spontaneous welcome from a stranger who just met him and saw his so terribly burnt face for the first time.

Quickly, he pulled himself together. Again, he entered my mind and saw right through me, while he paged through my intentions. This time, I could literally feel him search my soul for sincerity. Could he really trust me? Did I really accept him for who he was, now that I could see his so badly burnt face? Or, would I soon feel too disgusted and turn him down, as so many others had done after they saw his burns for the first time.

Again, I sent my boy all the Universal Love I was able to muster, while telling him in my mind that I really wanted to be his new friend. He could trust me, and I sincerely promised I would never let him down. Cross my heart and hope to die!

Again, my boy picked up my thoughts, and, finally, he trusted me. Quickly, he recovered completely, while his wonderful bright blue eyes started to sparkle with pure joy. Suddenly, he let go of his last fears and trustfully let his defenses down. Immediately, his protective aura opened up to me completely, allowing me to sense all his still hidden fears, doubts, and longings...

At that same moment, I could read my boy's aura like an open book! I could sense his pains, sadness, and loneliness; but also his deep longing to belong to a grownup who really cared for him. Yes, he still had some fears, after all the rejections and humiliations he had to endure during the past two years. Would I really accept him for who he was, now that I could see his so terribly damaged face? Could he really trust me, as I already promised him in my thoughts? He was still a little bit afraid of being rejected, once I started to realize how badly his ugly burns and scars were looking in reality.

Without saying a word, I stared back into my boy's bright blue eyes. Again, I started to send him all my love, plus my honest feelings of deep respect and friendship. In my mind, I again assured him I felt honored to be his new friend, and that he really could trust me... Again, my boy picked up my thoughts, and his even more sparkling eyes told me that he had decided to take the risk and accept my friendship! Trustfully, he took the last step towards me, turned around, and leaned into me as if totally committing himself to me.

Nothing in the world can even begin to describe what I felt now that my 'former son' so trustfully committed himself to me. Many powerful waves of sheer happiness and Pure Love exploded in my inside and almost overwhelmed me! This was MY boy, my former son, my precious friend, once my trusted Vice Leader when I was our Beloved Gypsy Monarch the Great, and forever my one and only Eternal Soul Mate! During all our lives, I had always loved him with all my heart; and, finally, we were together again!

Gently, I folded my arms around his tiny frame and pulled him into a welcoming bear hug, surprised at feeling such a warm body. With a beautiful smile from ear to ear, my boy leaned even more into my chest; while his small hands clamped onto my embracing arms, as if he tried to seal them around his waist. With a deep sigh of utmost content, he tried to melt even further into my aura.

Having 'my boy' in my arms felt like the final fulfillment of all the things I had been waiting for during my life. Everything fell into place, telling me I had reached the first step of my Final Destiny! From here, we only had to go on, working closely together, including John! Vague memories showed up in my mind, of all three of us sitting around a crackling fire, having fun with telling each other silly stories. The swirling wind howled around our small log cabin while, from a distance, we heard the growling sounds of hungry grizzly bears. Today, our best trapper friend joined us, drinking coffee while having my bouncing little son on his knee. The man had John's deep brown eyes and hair with little curls at the edges.

Still feeling strange, I forced myself to leave my 'memories from a past life' and return into the here and now. All these new revelations were too much for my old and a bit rusty brain! Plus, I still wasn't really sure, because my confused brain COULD have made things up. Apart from that, I now had my little Gypsy friend in my arms, and that was all that counted. From now on, we would always be together, and I was already planning not to let him go ever again.

Overflowing with very much tender loving care for my newly found little friend, I pulled him even closer against my chest. Tenderly, I bent over towards my broadly smiling boy and put a warm kiss onto his forehead. That was what I always did with my little brother and with my own daughters. Kissing them had always been my strongest means of expressing my love for them.

With a surprising agility, my boy wrestled around in my arms, until he could look straight into my eyes. Showing me a beautiful smile full of love and trust, he put his small arms around my neck and pulled himself upright. Then, he kissed me back, full on my mouth! Two small wrinkled but also surprisingly warm lips eagerly pressed against mine, forcefully, as if he tried to send me a message.

For a second, I felt too embarrassed to react. Then, my inside started to shudder, while my straining body cramped together and froze. Heaven knows I couldn't help it, and I certainly hadn't planned it. At that same moment when my boy's surprisingly warm and wet lips touched mine, I felt shocked into my deepest core!

Instinctively, my arms paralyzed, while my mouth tried to pull back from this too intimate contact. Never before had any stranger kissed me on my lips like this! To me, with my strict and puritanical upbringing, kissing on someone's mouth was almost a SIN when it wasn't your own flesh and blood that did it. My own parents never kissed me; and I had kissed my own little brother, but solely on his forehead and certainly nowhere else. Even my own daughters never kissed me on my mouth. Only my own wife had been allowed to kiss me like this, but only in the safe intimacy of our closed bedroom. Now, suddenly, this little boy kissed me full on my mouth, as if we could be bride and groom...

Feeling shocked into my deepest core, my perplexed mind didn't know what to do. Should I push the little sinner away from my mouth, and try to explain why I didn't want him to kiss me like this? Only, I didn't want my newly found little friend to feel guilty about showing me what probably was only his childish affection; and I also didn't want my boy to feel rejected during our first meeting! Still feeling very uneasy, I decided to do nothing but wait, until my boy understood my message and stopped his inappropriate kiss.

After what felt like an awkward eternity, little Harry finally stopped his kiss and slowly withdrew his lips from mine. His small arms left my neck, and his lithe little body slumped down and slowly slid towards the floor, where he slipped through my still paralyzed arms and collapsed into a heap. Slumping down onto the carpeted floor, he heaved a couple of heartbreaking sighs and started to cry, although he tried to muffle his sobs so as not to alarm his friends.

Although I tried to pull myself together, my perplexed brain didn't understand why my boy suddenly cried. What could have happened to him? Why had he suddenly slumped down onto the floor? Could our too powerful emotions have been too much for him? Yes, of course, that was what had happened! Little Harry had been too excited for his own good, and he needed some time to pull himself together.

Because my numbed mind didn't work any more, I switched into my 'professional autopilot'. That was what I always did when a situation turned out to be too difficult and I didn't know what to do. Automatically, I decided to let my boy have some more personal space, as I always did with my little clients when they started to be too emotional. Little Harry would certainly feel more at ease when he could see John and his other friends. With some difficulty, I rose to my feet, scooped my sobbing little friend off the floor, and carried him to the kitchen table. There, I took an empty folding chair, sat down, and lifted the sobbing little rag doll onto my lap, facing me.

After a few seconds, I thought it would be better for my boy if he could see his 'big brother'. Ultimately, I was still a total stranger to him, because I had met him only a few minutes before! Trying to be helpful, I started to turn my sobbing little rag doll around, to let him face John and his other friends... Instantly, my boy looked up at me with a severely shocked face! For a couple of seconds, he even stopped crying, while staring at me wide-eyed. Then, he screamed, with a surprisingly deep baritone voice:

"NOOOooooooo..."

Violently, he fought himself free from my enveloping arms and slid down onto the floor. Immediately, he scrambled upright and stumbled towards the kitchen door, nearly tripping over his own feet. He threw himself into the hallway, from where we heard him open the front door. He stumbled out of my house and disappeared into our surrounding neighborhood, leaving all doors wide open.

What had happened to my suddenly screaming boy? Still feeling dumbstruck, I slumped back onto my folding chair. While staring at the open kitchen door, my confused brain still didn't comprehend what I could have done wrong. For heaven's sake, why had my little friend suddenly screamed and fled away? Should I go after my crying boy and try to bring him back? Only, what would my neighbors think of me, an old grandpa who chased after a crying little boy through their backyards? Of course, I didn't want to be arrested as some potential child molester. Still feeling speechless, I looked at John, but he seemed to be as bewildered as I was.

After a moment of silence, John asked me:

"Shall I go after Harry and try to bring him back to you?"

"Well, I don't know... Do you have any idea why Harry suddenly cried and fled away?"

"Sorry, sir, but I think we have to ask Harry about that! Come on, let's go outside and find Harry..."

John rose from his chair and beckoned his friends to follow him. Together, they left me and hurried outside, to go look for their crying little friend. Marrie helpfully closed my front door, before they spread out and disappeared into our neighborhood...

All at once, my kitchen was empty again. The sudden silence felt eerie, and I still hadn't the faintest idea what could have happened, or what I could have done wrong. Could I have misread my new little friend? Or, had I done something stupid, without realizing what I did? Still feeling numb, I poured the milk from the saucepan into the sink and put the unused glasses away. Then, I brewed some strong coffee, in a desperate effort to clear my still entangled mind. I HAD to pull myself together first, before I would be able to find out what could have happened to my suddenly crying little friend. After drinking my coffee, I sat down on my folding chair, closed my eyes, and started to replay the events in my mind. That was what I always did when I encountered a too difficult problem. By looking at our interactions, I hoped to gain more insight in what had happened.

First, I recalled six children, huddling together in front of my house. Five kids expectantly looked up at me, but the sixth one shyly hid behind his friends. Obviously, little Harry didn't want me to see his badly burnt face, although John should have told him about my own burnt little brother... After inviting my young friends in, I entered my house without looking back, hoping they would feel less wary about visiting a 'stranger'. Being free to enter my house voluntarily, they would also feel more at ease knowing they were free to leave voluntarily. The idea seemed to work, because all the children followed me into my kitchen, including little Harry.

Next, I recalled John and Thomas, already sitting at the kitchen table, while Mark and Chrissie joined them. A motherly looking Marrie had her arms around a hesitating little boy, while she in vain tried to push him towards me, although the little boy still tried to hide his burnt face from my eyes. At that moment, I decided to do nothing. Trying to avoid my earlier mistake, I just let the boy make his own decisions. I only sent him my Universal Love, while telling him in my mind he could trust me and that I wanted to be his new friend.

Surprisingly, my boy reacted immediately, as if he had heard all my unspoken thoughts! Suddenly, he lifted his head and stared straight into my eyes, while effortlessly reading my inside like an open book. Rarely had I met a child that was able to see through my so carefully built up defenses. However, never before had any young child read my hidden thoughts and uncovered my deepest secrets with such an ease and this effortlessly! Could this tiny child really be an upcoming Shaman? Probably, he already was one!

Now, I recalled my boy's burnt face. His terribly scarred forehead showed several reddish patches and lots of wild flesh. His little nose was halfway gone, making his too big nostrils look like black holes in a marred face. The left side of his mouth was askew, and his stained lips were shriveled and wrinkled. His right ear stuck to his head, and his entire skin was stained in at least three different colors.

I had to admit that little Harry WAS a 'freaky' sight, certainly to anybody who saw his so badly burnt face for the first time, or who wasn't used to having a burnt little brother around. Surprisingly, despite his terrible ordeal, my boy still maintained a strong aura of Pure Inner Power! He was still proud of himself, and his radiant spirit seemed to be unbroken. My so badly burnt little Gypsy friend and upcoming Shaman certainly was an amazing little soldier!

After drinking the rest of my coffee, I went on recalling how I bent forward and kissed my boy's scarred forehead. Had I kissed my burnt little friend too soon after I met him for the first time? Or, wasn’t this little boy used to being kissed by a stranger? Maybe, nobody ever kissed him? That would be very sad.

However, little Harry immediately turned around in my arms and looked at me, while showing me a beautiful smile and sparkling eyes full of joyful acceptance. Obviously, he had appreciated my spontaneous kiss very much! Suddenly, he put his small arms around my neck, pulled himself upright, and kissed me back, straight onto my mouth. Two wet and wrinkled but surprisingly warm small lips pressed against mine, eagerly, as if he tried to send me a message...

Fortunately, now that I remembered my boy's kiss, my puritanical inside didn't react shocked any more. Having calmed down, I was now able to see my boy's spontaneous kiss in a somewhat different light. I also remembered seeing many more children greeting their parents by kissing them on their mouths. Only, up to now, I had never before given such 'sinful' behavior a second thought. Now that I thought about it some more, I understood that my reaction had been very childish! I had reacted overdone, by feeling 'sinful' about what had been only a spontaneous kiss from a young child that clearly adored me. Little Harry had only tried to express his affection, as a spontaneous child that wanted to greet an adored grownup.

Now, I went on replaying what had happened afterwards. After what felt like an awkward eternity but was only a couple of seconds, little Harry stopped his kiss and slowly withdrew his wrinkled lips from mine. He slumped down onto the carpeted floor, heaved a couple of heartbreaking sighs, and started to cry. At that moment, I presumed that our shared emotions had been too much for the crying little boy. Therefore, I decided to give him some more personal space, by letting him join his friends. Little Harry didn't protest when I scooped him off the floor and took him into my arms. His tiny body just sagged against my chest, while I carried the little rag doll to the kitchen table. After lifting him onto my lap, I decided to turn him around, so that he could face John.

As if he suddenly felt disappointed, he immediately stared deeply into my eyes. Then, he screamed, fought himself free, and ran away! For heaven's sake, what had I done wrong? Little Harry started to scream after I turned him around on my lap... Could his turning around be a problem? Could it be that little Harry did not WANT to be turned around to face John and his friends?

Again feeling shocked into my deepest core, I found out something about myself that I had totally overlooked. The turning around hadn't been HIS decision, but MINE! I hadn't asked little Harry what HE wanted, but ASSUMED I did the right thing! This was a serious lack of consideration! How could I have overlooked such an important thing? Did I ever think I could be a good psychotherapist?

Feeling deeply ashamed about my obvious lack of consideration, I rose from my chair and brewed another cup of coffee. This time, I took my coffee outside and sat down on my porch, hoping to see the children and their burnt little friend. Hopefully, I would be able to talk to my boy and make up for my rude behavior... However, the street was empty and it stayed empty. Where was everybody? Where was my little friend now? Would I ever see him again? Or, would he be too disappointed about my obvious lack of consideration and try to avoid my house from now on? That would be truly sad!

After drinking my coffee, I decided to have an honest look at my OWN inside. This time, I also wanted to look at my relationship with my own little brother. Therefore, I closed my eyes and looked at my remembrances from my own difficult youth. As far as I could remember, little Joshie and I had always been in peaceful harmony with each other. However, was that the truth? Or, had our 'harmony' been only my own wishful thinking? I tried to picture my little brother in my mind, but felt surprised to see that I couldn't remember how he looked... Why didn't I remember Joshie's face? Had I ever REALLY looked at my little brother? Had I ever looked into his eyes, to see who he was and what he wanted? So far, I always assumed he had brown eyes like mine, but I didn't really remember.

Had I ever talked with Joshie? I mean, REALLY talked with him? I did talk TO him, sure, to tell him what my parents or I wanted him to do. But, did I ever talk WITH him, waiting for and listening to HIS answers? Suddenly, I started to realize that I didn't even know my own little brother. When he was still little, I bathed him, I dried him, I tickled him until he laughed, I put him into his bed, and I kissed his forehead. However, that was all the contact I ever maintained with my always happy little brother. I was so used to having him around, as a faithful little puppy, that I often didn't even realize he was there.

Little Joshie was always there, seemingly feeling happy. The only time he seemed to need me, was when a thunderstorm raged. That made him crawl into my bed and sleep next to me for the rest of the night. However, I couldn't remember ever putting my arms around him, even after he had burnt himself and was totally dependent on me. Even outside, I always just dragged him with me, with his burnt little stump in my much bigger hand.

Had I really been that egotistic? Even after Joshie caught himself on fire, I never asked him what HE wanted. I had to take him with me whenever I went outside, but was that what HE wished? I just dragged him with me... Of course, he couldn't speak any more; but, certainly, his eyes could have told me something. Only, I never looked into them... I was sure I loved him as my little brother, but who did I love? Obviously, I didn't even know Joshie! Why did I never look into his eyes, to see who he really was?

The sun was setting and the outside air started to get chilly, so I decided to go inside. In my living room, I sat down on my couch and closed my eyes, this time forcing myself to contemplate on who I really was. Sixty-five years of wasted life, never really listening to my wife or to my children, always doing what I assumed they wished, but never asking them. Little Joshie didn't seem to need me, until he burnt himself and became dependent on others. My parents always were too busy with themselves. My own wife never complained, even after we divorced. My two daughters just married and went their own ways.

Suddenly, a severely burnt little Gypsy boy enters my life and seems to need me. And, again, I am making the same unforgivable mistakes! Again, I am assuming what my boy wants, without asking him first. Again, I am not listening to what HE has to tell me! I am such a selfish egotist... Obviously, I will have to change my behavior drastically, before I will be worthy to befriend such a vulnerable child. And, I will have to start right NOW!

In the meantime, my body started to feel drowsy and tired, as if all my energy left me. Assuming I needed some rest, I stretched out on my couch and closed my eyes. Immediately, I drifted off, until my mind was barely aware of my surroundings. At the same time, everything around me started to feel calm and peaceful. Was I suddenly dying and entering heaven? A bright unearthly light started to surround me, seemingly coming from everywhere, while my inside felt overflowed with powerful waves of Cosmic Love, tenderness, and compassion. Again, I felt little Joshie's well-known harmony, as if he stood next to me and stared at me with his knowing eyes.

Feeling surprised, I opened my eyes and looked around. Much to my surprise, I immediately saw my 'Spirit Guide'! This time, Jack was no longer some hazy form, as if made of colored steam, but he was REAL, and surrounded by a beautifully colored aura that stretched out into all directions, as if vibrating and glowing brightly with many unearthly colors. For a long time, Jack looked at me, while sending me lots of Love and understanding through his deep brown eyes. Then, he embraced me, while I felt his arms folding around my ethereal body. A moment later, I heard his by now well-known warm and soulful voice, this time coming from his OWN mouth. Looking at me with eyes full of compassion, Jack asked me:

"My dear brother, do you understand now?"

Nearly choking up from my welling emotions of shame, I could only nod, while tears of frustration started to stream down my face. My inside felt totally overwhelmed by so much understanding, so much Love and compassion, engulfing me with all these powerful waves of Universal Love... Yes, this time, I DID understand!

Again, I heard Jack's warm and soulful voice, telling me:

"Don't be afraid, and you didn't make a serious mistake. Your son will come back to you, because you need each other to work together when the time is there to start your task on our so terribly confused Planet Earth. Please, don't doubt any more, only listen to what your Own Heart tells you, and love your boys with everything that you have. May our Supreme Being be with you and bless you..."

Slowly, Jack's warm and soulful voice drifted off, while the unearthly bright light faded away and I woke up on my couch, curled up into a tight ball and crying my heart out...

7. Misinterpretations and misunderstandings.

Halfway through the evening, I woke up from stiffness after lying curled up on my couch for such a long time. Vaguely, I remembered dreaming about a bright unearthly light that surrounded me from all sides. Only, because I didn't remember anything else, I let it go as being only some strange dream. What time was it, and how long had I been dreaming? My living room was getting dark, so I rose from my couch and switched on a few twilight lamps. Next, I stumbled to my kitchen, to brew another cup of strong coffee.

Only, before I reached the kitchen, my too loud doorbell rang, again reverberating through the entire house. Feeling a bit irritated, I stumbled to my front door to open it, ready to brush off the unwelcome visitor I was sure I hadn't invited. Who the heck would want to pay me an unexpected visit at this time in the evening?

I opened my front door, looked outside... and was nearly run over by a human cannonball that suddenly jumped up to me! Immediately when John saw me, he launched himself onto me and clamped his arms around my waist. Burying his head into my chest, he started to cry his heart out, although he also tried to muffle his sobs.

What terrible things could have happened to my young friend? First, I looked around for any more unexpected visitors. Then, seeing that John was alone, I dragged my sobbing limpet into the hallway and closed the front door. Inside my house, John slowly released his death grip on my chest and hesitantly looked up at me.

Showing me two desperate eyes in a tear-stained face, he sobbed:

"Please, can I... sorry, sir, may I have another talk with you?"

"Of course, you may! Please, come in and be my guest."

With my arms folded around John's still heavily sobbing frame, I guided him into my living room. My young friend ambled next to me, now and then heaving deep sighs and nearly stumbling over the doorstep. What could have happened to him that made him feel this distressed? Inside my living room, I released John and quickly switched on a couple more lamps, before went to my couch and sat down. Invitingly, I patted the empty space next to me.

However, John only looked at me with a pleading face. Then, he just threw himself onto my lap and again started to cry his heart out! What should I do now? For a moment, I was concerned that John might see me as a 'replacement father' or as his new 'Big Friend'. Didn't he have his own Dad to help him cope with his distress? Ultimately, his parents didn't even know me; and what if they didn't want their son to befriend such an unknown 'danger stranger'?

Then, I decided to listen to what my Own Heart told me, as Jack had told me I should do all the time, and my Own Heart told me that John needed my help and guidance! Therefore, I wrapped my arms around his heavily sobbing frame and tried to give him all the support that I thought he needed, by sending him as much Universal Love as I was able to muster. That was what I always did with my emotional little clients, to help them calm down and feel safer.

Out of professional habit, I also tuned in into John's enveloping aura, to sense what could be his problem. This time, my young friend felt like a forlorn and lonely child that was craving for lots of tender loving care and understanding. Who, or maybe what, could have made him feel this distressed? Soon, John started to cry and talk at the same time, telling me through his heavy sobs:

"Harry doesn't believe me any more... I told him you didn't freak out on him, because you are used to seeing your own burnt brother... but he won't listen any more and just keeps on crying and crying, until my father started to yell at me and ordered me to do something about Harry, or else... That is why I am here, to ask for your help..."

John continued to tell me a lot more, but I couldn't understand him through his heavy sobs and therefore asked:

"Shush shush... Now, please, try to talk a little bit slower, so that I can understand what you want to tell me."

In the meantime, I looked around for my packet of tissues. Where could I have left it, now that I needed it for John to wipe his tears and blow his nose? I was sure I had found it on the bottom of one of my cardboard boxes. Only, where had I left it, thinking I would be able to find it easily? Had I left it in my kitchen, or maybe in my hallway closet? Obviously, I was really becoming a forgetful 'old man'!

Feeling irritated about my forgetfulness, I reached into my trouser pocket, to get my handkerchief and help John with his teary eyes and runny nose. Only, John already beat me to it. Still sobbing, he worked his own handkerchief out of his back pocket. After wiping his wet eyes and teary face, he blew his nose in it, before he neatly folded it together and put it back into his pocket. Then, he looked up at me again, showing me two deep brown eyes full of trust and love, and an apologizing smile on his still tear-streaked face.

Now that John had calmed down, he was able to tell me what had happened since this morning: Immediately after my young friend promised to bring Harry to me, he had started to search for his little brother. Soon, he met his friends, who were playing hide and seek in the surrounding backyards. John told them what I had asked him to do, and they offered to help him find Harry. Together, they started to look for their little friend, planning to persuade him to join them towards me. After some searching, they found Harry in my backyard, again hidden in some thick bush. He had again positioned himself so that he could see into my living room, staring at what I was doing.

Triumphantly, the children took the little spy to John's room, because they wanted to know what I had told John about my leaving them alone on my porch. Sitting on his own bed, John told his friends a few minor things about me being used to having a burnt little brother around. However, John didn't want to tell them too many private things about me, because he didn't know how much information he could relay without my consent. He only assured his intently listening 'little brother' that I was a very nice and friendly man, and I had personally asked my young namesake to pay me a visit!

For a long time, Harry only stared at his 'big brother', with a blank face, as if he didn't believe John's praising words. Getting more and more frustrated, John again assured Harry that I was a very nice man and really wanted to be a friend! Little Harry had nothing to be afraid of, because Big Harry was already used to seeing a boy with a badly burnt face, because of his own burnt little brother...

Looking more and more unsure, Harry suddenly blurted out:

"Then, why was Big Harry mad at me when he returned into Jack's living room? He even cursed and kicked a chair around! Of course, he doesn't want to have me in his house, with my freaky face, or he doesn't want me to have my own herbs garden in Jack's backyard..."

For several seconds, John didn't know how to respond to Harry's sudden outburst. Then, he decided to tell Harry everything about little Joshie's burns, his sudden death, and my own horrible youth. John only hoped I wouldn't mind the other children hearing my sad story, for the sake of my little namesake... Immediately, Harry sat upright and started to listen intently, while the other children finally understood why I had left them alone on my porch without giving them any explanation. Now that everybody had heard my own sad story, they reacted both shocked and full of understanding. Even little Harry now accepted that my flaring anger had nothing to do with him or with his herbs garden in my backyard. I had only felt my own pain and frustrations, because I remembered my own burnt little brother!

After John had told them everything about me, Harry confessed:

"I was afraid that Big Harry wouldn't want to see me in Jack's former house, after you told him about my burnt body and freaky face. I also feared I had to give up my herbs garden, because Big Harry had already kicked a couple of my white cobblestones..."

"Well, I think that Big Harry stumbled on them by accident, without knowing what they are for. But, he really has an understanding character, and he absolutely wants to meet you! Please, don't be afraid that he doesn't want to see you, because he is already used to seeing a boy with a burnt face, because of his own little brother. Shall we go to Big Harry's house now, to meet him and get acquainted?"

Reluctantly, Harry agreed to join his friends to my house, although he still was afraid that I would reject him once I saw his burnt face, in spite of being used to seeing my own burnt little brother. In the past, too many strangers had panicked, called him a 'freak' or an 'alien', or wanted to call for an ambulance, at seeing his so terribly burnt face for the first time. At last, Marrie threw her arms around her hesitating 'little brother' and just pushed him out the door. Determinedly, she dragged him towards my house, followed by the others.

Inside my house, all five children felt very happy to see everything going so well. Secretly, they had hoped and prayed that Harry would find himself a new 'Big Friend', or perhaps a 'replacement Dad'... Now, all their hopes and prayers seemed to be answered! When I saw their little friend, I immediately greeted and embraced him, we seemed to like each other very much, and I even kissed his so terribly scarred forehead without any hesitation. Therefore, it really looked like little Harry had found himself a new Big Friend! That is, until they saw me carrying a sobbing little rag doll towards the kitchen table, take him onto my lap, and then turn him around to face his friends... Immediately, Harry started to scream, fought himself free from my arms, and ran out of my house at lightning speed!

All the children felt at a loss, and nobody had any idea what could have happened. Could 'Big Harry' have done something bad to their suddenly crying little friend? Following John outside, they immediately spread out and started to search for the little runaway. After searching in vain through the surrounding backyards, they found Harry in John's bedroom. He had slumped down onto John's bed, burying his face in a pillow to muffle his heavy sobs.

John sat down next to his little brother and urged him to tell them what had happened. Only, Harry refused to talk and just went on crying and sobbing. Feeling at a loss, John persisted and told his little brother that nobody had ANY idea why he suddenly ran away. Had 'Big Harry' done something bad to him, maybe unintentionally?

Suddenly, Harry screamed that he had lost EVERYTHING and only wanted to DIE! At hearing Harry's heavy outburst, all the children felt severely shocked. For a moment, they didn't know how to help their desperate little friend who suddenly wanted to die. Then, John just pulled Harry into his arms and again begged his little brother to tell them why he felt so desperate...

Finally, after some more persuading, Harry told his friends what had happened and why he felt as if he had lost everything:

Inside my house, my warm feelings of love and sympathy totally engulfed Harry's aura, making him feel safe and cared for. At that moment, Harry knew that he had found himself a new Big Friend! When I saw his burnt face for the first time, I didn't even flinch. I only sank onto one knee to be on the same level, and asked my little namesake for a hug! Feeling surprised, Harry first tried to read my hidden intentions. Could he really trust me? Would I really accept him as he was, including his terribly burnt face? When he again sensed my unconditional love, he left Marrie, stepped towards me, and trustfully leaned into me. While basking in my aura full of Tender Loving Care, his inside felt like coming home! Finally, his mourning was over, and he was sure he had found himself a new Big Friend.

Unexpectedly, his new Big Friend bent over towards him and KISSED him! Now, his inside felt all warm and mushy, while he basked in his joyful feelings of total acceptance. He was now sure that I was going to love him at least as much as Jack had done, and probably even more! How could he show me he felt elated to have me as his new Big Friend? Almost drowning in his feelings of pure love, he put his arms around my neck and hugged me. Then, he made the biggest mistake of his life... HE KISSED ME BACK.

Immediately when his shriveled lips touched mine, my entire body stiffened, while my shocked face contorted and froze. All my feelings of acceptance disappeared completely, while my warm aura full of love went cold and retreated inside. Obviously, I felt too disgusted by those awfully burnt lips that suddenly touched mine. Without saying a word, I waited until his so badly burnt mouth would leave mine...

As an unexpected thunderclap, Harry's entire world fell into shambles! Suddenly feeling awful, he slumped down onto the floor. He felt utterly disappointed, totally rejected, terribly ugly, and only wanted to die. The only grownup he really trusted, next to Jack and his own parents, had turned him down... Involuntarily, he started to cry, but he tried to muffle his sounds so as not to alarm his friends.

For a split second, his hope flared up again, when I lifted him off the floor. However, I didn't talk to him, and I didn't even ask him why he cried or what he wanted. I just took him to my kitchen table, where I sat down and placed him onto my lap without saying a word. Then, I suddenly turned him around, away from my face! Obviously, I still felt too disgusted at seeing his so terribly tainted freaky face with those ugly wrinkled lips and all those awful scars...

Now, Harry felt as if he had lost everything that could be worth living for. While crying his heart out, he wrestled free from my arms and ran away from Jack's former house, feeling less than worthless. He thought about throwing himself in front of a car to end his ugly life, but ended up in John's bedroom. However, he still didn't want to live any more. He had trusted me and I had turned him down! From now on, he didn't even trust Jack any more, because his deceased former Big Friend had assured him he approved of the new owner of his old home. From now on, he only wanted to DIE.

After telling me his sad story, John sagged down and collapsed onto my lap. Clamping onto my chest with all his might, he again started to cry his heart out. Again, I folded my arms around his sobbing frame and held him close to my chest, while sending him all the Universal Love and compassion that I was able to muster. In the meantime, I felt so guilty! Why hadn't I ASKED my little namesake why he suddenly started to cry, instead of assuming I was doing the right thing? Now, everything I had done had been misunderstood, and our first meeting had gone awfully wrong.

What a terrible mess! How would I ever be able to explain my severe lack of compassion to that poor child, supposing he would have the courage to return to my house and meet me again? For a moment, I tried to talk to John, but my young friend just continued to sob in my arms, still clamping onto me while burying his head in my chest. Where the heck had I left my huge packet of tissues, now that I needed it? I was sure I had put it in a 'safe' place where I would be able to find it easily. If only my old and too rusty brain could remember where that 'safe place' had been...

Finally, John started to calm down. His tear-stained face showed up from my chest, and two deep brown eyes looked up at me as if apologizing for being such a crybaby. Again, John worked his own handkerchief out of his back pocket. Looking for a dry corner, he wiped his eyes and blew his nose in it, unintentionally making a lot of noise. Now chuckling nervously, he folded the wet thing together and put it back into his pocket. In the meantime, I had wiped my own eyes with my own handkerchief. Hoping to relieve some of our built-up tension, I tried to make the same lot of noise.

For a split second, John and I stared at each other, trying not to laugh. Then, we started to bellow with laughter, which made our built-up tension diminish and fade away. Being able to behave as if we were two mischievous children, felt like a most welcome release! Again, I started to think. Had really little Harry recognized me as being his 'trapper Dad' from our past lives? And, had I really been their Beloved 'Gypsy Monarch Harold the Great'? Again, all my former beliefs started to crumple down even more, making me feel even more unsafe and uneasy.

Then, another important thought struck me. I suddenly realized that I was taking on an enormous amount of responsibility, by letting this vulnerable child enter my life. My little Gypsy boy wasn't only burnt on his outside, but he could be damaged in his inside as well. Therefore, I had to be extremely careful with my suddenly suicidal little friend! And, I had to start right NOW.

Looking at my clock on the wall, I asked John:

"What do you think, John? Is your little brother still awake?"

Looking at me with sudden hope in his eyes, John responded:

"I suppose that Harry still waits for me to return home, because, before I left, he almost begged me to tell me everything about you! Only, my father ordered me to be right back, so I think I have to go home now before he shows up here to collect me..."

"Shall I walk you home and try to have a quick word with Harry?"

"Oh, yes, please! That would be wonderful!"

Looking much happier, John hopped off my lap, turned around, and offered me another warm hug! Again, my affectionate young friend was working his way even deeper into my heart! Teasingly, I put a kiss onto his forehead, which made him snicker and wipe the kiss away. Then, while bumping into each other on purpose, we went to the kitchen sink to wash our teary faces and make ourselves a bit more presentable. Again, we started to splash each other with water, although, this time, we tried to restrict ourselves, to keep our clothes dry. Again, we playfully started to mock fight to have some more of the same kitchen towel. Of course, being the strongest one, I won...

8. John's parents; and taking 'my boy' home.

Still chuckling and feeling full of love, I told John:

"Thank you very much, my dear friend, for being such a lovable and affectionate person!"

John beamed back at me with a proud face, while he responded:

"Thank you too, my dear sir, for helping me and wanting to be my grownup friend! I only wish that you could be my Dad..."

In a sudden hurry, I followed John outside and closed my front door behind. Walking together, we trotted towards John's house that was five doors away, while my spontaneous young friend just took my hand as if he had done this all his life. On our way, he pointed to the fourth door and explained:

"This is where Thomas and Chrissy live. During daylight, Harry always walks to them and to Jack's house through our backyards, to hide his burnt face from any unexpected strangers."

Soon, we arrived at the fifth house in the row that turned out to be John's abode. John took a key out of his pocket, opened the front door, and politely allowed me to go inside first. Soft music played in the background and the house lightly smelled of incense. It made me feel welcome, while John took me through their hallway and into the dimly lit living room. Curiously, I looked around, while waiting until my eyes would be accustomed to the dim light.

Then, I saw my little namesake, lying stretched out on the carpeted floor. Little Harry was playing a game of cards with Marrie and Mark. He looked up from his game when John and I entered the living room, obviously feeling surprised to see ME. Again, everything around us ceased to exist. Immediately, my boy's bright blue eyes pierced right into my soul, while his aura reached out towards my thoughts and quickly paged through them, as if searching for any telltale signs of disgust or rejection. One by one, he opened my inner doors, looked inside, and carefully closed them again.

Surprisingly, my Inside felt absolutely safe in his skilled 'hands'! I was sure that my little Shaman would never damage me, not even accidentally, by unintentionally stirring some hidden trauma. How did this so extremely special boy know what he had to do and how to do it? Even my extensive course in 'aura reading and healing' had never taught me how to do something like this. Would I ever be able to defend myself against such a powerful 'psychic intrusion', if needed? Wow, what an extremely special child was he. And, this powerful little Shaman would soon be 'MY BOY'!

After searching my soul for sincerity and looking for any telltale signs of anger or rejection, my boy left my aura and carefully closed the last inner door. Immediately, he turned into a vulnerable little boy who felt a bit unsure how I would react, while smiling apologetically as if excusing himself for being too impertinent. At the same time, he seemed to feel relieved, because his penetrating gaze softened considerably. Trustingly, he opened up to me completely.

Again, I used my 'aura reading' capabilities to read my boy's feelings like an open book. Unfortunately, he still had some remaining fears. Although he was an old and very wise soul, at the same time, he also was a vulnerable little boy who had to grow up some more first, and who still needed a loving and caring grownup in his life. He also showed me his regret for suddenly running away, and a deep longing to make up with me. He knew he could have disappointed me, but hoped and prayed I still wanted to be his new Big Friend.

Again, I opened my arms towards my boy, as I had done before. While sinking onto one knee, to be on level with him, I told him:

"Hi, my friend! May I have another hug, please?"

For a split second, my boy again showed me his fears of being disappointed. Could he really trust me? Did I really accept him just as he was, including his ugly shriveled and stained lips? Did I still want to be his new Big Friend, even after he suddenly left me and fled away from my house without an explanation?

Again, I started to send my boy all the Universal Love that my heart was able to bring forth, while telling him in my mind it was ME who had made a silly mistake, by reacting too prudish. Please, could my boy forgive me for my obvious stupidity?

Again, my boy picked up my thoughts, and his beaming face tried to light up the entire room. Determinedly, he pushed his game of cards towards Marrie and rose from the floor. For a split second, he seemed to hesitate again, still looking straight into my eyes for any telltale signs of rejection. Then, he leapt into my still open arms, and told me with a surprisingly deep baritone voice:

"I am sorry..."

My boy started to cry from sheer happiness, while I folded my arms around his surprisingly warm frame and held him close against my chest. No words in the world are able to describe what I felt, now that 'my boy' so trustfully committed himself to me. My heart sensed an entire mixture of fatherly feelings, deep love, responsibility, eternal friendship, and pure joy, all in one. We had definitively found each other, and my own heart was absolutely sure we would be good friends for the remainder of our lives. Even my analytical mind respectfully kept its meddling mouth shut; at least for now.

Again, many 'memories' showed up in my mind, showing that my boy and I had been together during several of our past lives. We had been dear friends, kindred souls, blood brothers, father and son, teacher and pupil, King and Vice King, and much more. My own heart was now sure we were Soul Mates and that we BELONGED to each other, for now and for all eternity!

Again, I got tears in my own eyes, this time from pure happiness. Never before had I cried as much as today; but it felt wonderful to let myself go completely and to allow myself to be this emotional. Of course, my little 'soul mate' cried with me, but our mingling tears were tears of pure joy! Finally, our waiting time was over. We had found each other and were together again. From now on, nobody would ever be able to separate us, not in all eternity!

Happily, we rubbed our faces together, stared into each other's eyes, and grinned at each other like crazy. Again, we melted into each other, mingling our joined tears of happiness. For a long time, we just stared into each other's eyes, almost drowning in each other's mutual warmth and powerful love. Tentatively, I puckered my mouth and touched his distorted little lips with mine. Immediately, my boy kissed me back, full on my lips, eagerly and without any hesitation.

Enthusiastically, we started to give each other small pecks on the lips. This time, our kisses felt wonderful, like coming home, or like sealing our Eternal Friendship. All my hesitation was gone, and my 'puritanical inside' was sure I had turned into a real 'kisser' for the remainder of my life! This eight-year-old little Gypsy boy with his badly burnt face really was my own son, my dearest friend, my long lost buddy, and my Eternal Soul Mate, all in one.

My inside was now sure that, despite our difference in age, we would always be close friends, even after one of us died and returned to heaven! Looking into my boy's beautiful bright blue eyes, I could see he recognized me too and that he felt just as happy as I was. I had found MY eternal soul mate, and he certainly had found HIS!

After a long time of cuddling and feeling happy, I disentangled my 'little soul mate' from my arms. Slowly, I rose from the carpeted floor, and my boy rose with me and ducked his small head under my arm. Obviously, his 'vulnerable little boy' side still wanted to feel safe and protected. While I draped my arm around his shoulders and pulled him close to my side, I started to look around.

Mark only stared at little Harry and me, still lying on the floor. Did I see some jealousy in his eyes? Marrie still sat on the floor and looked at us with tears in her eyes, as if she was very happy for us. My young friend John had already placed himself next to us, looking both very proud and extremely happy.

On her couch sat a dark-haired middle-aged woman, approvingly looking at little Harry and me. She smiled broadly, while her eyes sent us very much love and understanding. I liked her at first sight, and thought we could easily be good friends and happy neighbors.

In an armchair, a tall man with hazel eyes nervously smoked a cigarette. His piercing eyes drifted from my boy to me, to his wife, to his children, and back to my boy and me. I did NOT like that man at first sight, and my gut feeling told me this was mutual! This nervously smoking man clearly was not at ease with our 'situation'.

I ruffled my boy's unruly blond hair; and he looked up at me and smiled at me with adoration in his bright blue eyes. Silently, I looked from him to the smoking man, and I sensed how my little Shaman read my thoughts and therefore knew without words what I not wanted to say aloud. I would NOT talk to that nervously smoking man, unless he opened his mouth and asked me something first. Together, we went to the dark-haired woman, and I apologized:

"I am very sorry for intruding on you like this! This evening, John paid me an unexpected visit and told me a few things about his 'little Gypsy brother' over here. Therefore, I hoped I could have a word with Harry to help him overcome his obvious sadness."

The woman offered me a warm smile, while she responded:

"Please, call me Trudy, and I am very glad that you are here! All of us were at a loss, because nothing we told Harry could help him out of his desperation. Nobody could reach him any more, not even John and his neighborhood friends. Harry didn't listen to anybody any more and just kept crying and crying. For a moment, I was even angry with you, for bringing him into such a difficult situation."

At that moment, John jumped up and interrupted his mother:

"Mom, you are not fair! None of this has been Big Harry's fault! Nobody could imagine what Harry felt or why he suddenly started to cry and ran away without saying a word."

At hearing John's angry words, my boy ducked from under my arm and stepped towards his 'big brother'. This time, he radiated an extremely powerful energy, as if this tiny boy could be of Pure Royal Nobility! His proud demeanor also showed an enormous amount of Inner Power, as if this tiny Gypsy Shaman could be a little Prince who gently admonished his disrespectful subject.

Talking with a surprisingly deep baritone voice and with a slight outlandish accent, my boy told John:

"No John, of course you cannot imagine why I suddenly started to cry or why I ran away, because you are not a creepy Gypsy orphan with such a freaky face. You never have to hide your burns from anybody else, and you never have to sneak to your friends in the dark or through their backyards. Nobody ever makes fun of you, and nobody ever points at you in the streets and calls you a 'freak' or an 'alien'. That is what I feel every day, and that is why I again reacted shy and ran away. But, of course, you cannot help it. You just cannot sense my pain and my fears. Yet, I still love you very much, for being my big brother and trying to protect me!"

Smilingly, my 'little Royal Prince' put his small arms around John's waist and hugged his surprised looking 'big brother' fiercely! Immediately, John draped his own arms around his little brother and hugged him back, with a thankful look in his deep brown eyes. It was very clear that both 'adopted brothers' were loving each other very much, despite their unexpected quarrel!

After a few seconds of hugging John, my 'little soul mate' returned to me, ducked his small head under my arm, and determinedly draped my still waiting arm around his shoulders. At that moment, I could clearly feel my little Shaman's Inner Powers. Wow, what an extremely special child was he! Did I ever think I had to protect HIM?

Glaring at us with disapproving eyes, the nervously smoking man in the armchair put his still burning cigarette into a nearly filled ashtray and sat upright. Pointing at the clock on the wall, he seemed to feel both very uneasy and rather impatient. My gut feeling told me that this man did NOT approve of the more and more blossoming friendship between his children and this 'ancient grandpa'.

With a raspy sounding voice, the man announced:

"Children, it's time to go upstairs and to bed, NOW!"

For several seconds, nothing happened. Then, almost unwillingly, my little soul mate ducked his head from under my arm and turned around to face me. As if suddenly feeling a bit unsure, he looked up at me with his piercing bright blue eyes. Hesitantly, his deep baritone voice asked me, with a pleasant sounding outlandish accent:

"Could you please take me back to Jack's former house? I want to have my own room back and stay with you from now on!"

At hearing his little brother's request, John's proudly beaming face almost lit up the entire room, while he exclaimed:

"Yes, Dad, Harry has an excellent idea! Finally, I can have my own room back without sharing it."

Furtively, John looked at his little brother and me, this time with some fear in his deep brown eyes. Did we understand the real meaning behind his over-enthusiastic words? Of course we did! Both my boy and I smiled at John, and his face brightened with the relief while he smiled back at us... Only, 'Dad' didn't seem to feel too happy with his son's 'excellent idea'. Glaring at John, his raspy voice responded:

"I want to talk with this stranger first. Now, upstairs, all of you!"

With again some fear in his bright blue eyes, my boy asked me:

"Will you please wake me up when we go home?"

"Yes, I promise!"

Reluctantly, my boy turned around and followed John, Mark and Marrie into their hallway. For a split second, he looked back at me longingly, before he disappeared and slowly closed the door behind. Faintly, I heard them climb the stairs to the second floor, obviously trying not to make too much noise.

Suddenly, my inside felt a bit empty, as if it already missed 'my boy'. Why was that? At hearing my boy say 'when WE go home', I had felt both proud and elated! Obviously, my boy was already sure that he was going to live with me in what was Jack's former house. Besides, the other day, I had promised to give him his 'own' room back and even furnish it for him if he wished...

However, much to my surprise, my inside also felt some reluctance, as if it was NOT sure about my too spontaneous decision. Why was that? What could be bothering me? Of course, as a trained psychotherapist, I immediately questioned my hidden feelings. Was I really willing to take such a vulnerable little boy into my house, to raise him until he would be old enough to fend for himself?

Of course, I wasn't Jack, the person who had rescued him and who had been almost a 'replacement father' to the little orphan. On the contrary, in reality, I still was a 'stranger' to this boy, who had met him for the first time only a few hours ago! What would happen once the authorities found out that I suddenly hosted a small boy in my house? We were living in an extremely mistrustful world, and I had to reckon seriously with all the meddlesome people around me.

At that moment, 'Dad' interrupted my train of thoughts, this time talking with a whiny voice:

"Sorry sir; but WE haven't been introduced! MY name is Eric."

Reluctantly, 'Dad' extended his smoke-stained hand towards me. While I took his hand full of brownish cigarette marks and shook it, involuntarily, my inside shuddered. To me, his effeminate handshake felt quite the opposite of a manly 'firm grip'! Obviously, I had to be very careful with this mistrusting man who already saw me as an enemy. Probably, he would do everything that he could to 'prove he was right'. I also wondered how a cold and hateful man like Eric had been able to father a warm and loving boy like John...

Glaring at me with cold eyes, 'Dad' grumbled:

"Sit down if you wish, and do you care for coffee?"

"Yes, please, black would be nice, with two lumps of sugar."

Feeling more and more unsure, I sat down on another easy chair; while Trudy disappeared into her kitchen. While Trudy started rummaging with what sounded like coffee cups, Eric immediately started his 'talk' to me, with a raspy and still whiny sounding voice:

He started to tell me that the authorities had saddled him with their burnt little Gypsy orphan, but without HIS consent! His wife had insisted on taking that boy in their custody to help 'Jack', the strange neighbor in the same street who had been living all alone in such a big house for more than twenty years. Two years ago, John suddenly brought Jack here who was sobbing as a little baby. Jack seemed to be very charmed with a six-year-old burnt little Gypsy boy who had been hospitalized and was now delivered to an orphanage. Although HE didn't approve, his wife had insisted on taking the burnt boy in their custody, so that he could live with Jack in Jack's house.

Before Eric went on, he first lit another cigarette and teasingly blew some smoke into my direction. Was that 'man' really trying to make me angry? When I didn't react, Eric just went on:

Now that Jack had died, his little orphan was back in HIS house; and, of course, HE had now to decide what was going to happen to HIS boy! Living in Jack's house had seemed to be okay, because Jack always tutored the boy and the boy had his own room in Jack's house. However, I was still a stranger to him and to the boy, and he didn't know me; and, of course, the neighbors would start talking again. Who was I? Was I married? Did I have any children of my own? Why was I here, and what the heck did I want from HIS boy?

By now feeling totally perplexed, I balled my fists in my trouser pockets and nearly forgot to breathe from suddenly flaring anger! Who was that arrogantly smoking man who again blew some smoke into my direction, and what kind of an interrogation was this? And, why was that arrogant man constantly talking about 'the boy'? Feeling more and more angry with that continually smoking man who again lit another cigarette, I thought about leaving the house and forcefully slamming the door. Only, then, I could be sure I would lose all my young friends, and that was the very last thing I wanted. Clearly, I had to be very careful with my answers...

Now that I had heard Eric's 'talk with me', I was absolutely sure I wanted to take my boy home and give him his own room back. If it were up to me, I would immediately storm upstairs and kidnap him! Fortunately, despite my still flaring anger, I also realized that I had to satisfy Eric first, by giving him some proper answers. Ultimately, little Harry WAS in his custody, and Eric had every right to forbid both my boy and his other children to visit me ever again...

Therefore, I quickly suppressed my anger, by taking a few deep breaths and forcing my angry inside to calm down, as I had taught myself during my own difficult youth. Then, I started to answer Eric's questions, while trying to sound calm:

"I am a retired psychotherapist, sixty five years old, and I have been married but divorced a couple of months ago. I also have two grownup daughters of my own who are living in another town..."

Exactly at that moment, Trudy stormed into the living room, still drying her hands. Demonstratively, she stepped in between her still smoking husband and me and put her hands on her hips. Looking furious, she stared her husband down until he averted his eyes.

Then, with fire-shooting eyes, she barked at him:

"Eric, this is more than enough! You should know that John thinks the world of 'Big Harry', and you also should know that John is an excellent judge of character! Totally unlike you, my dear. You always criticize and belittle people, but I have had more than enough of that. I trust Big Harry, John trusts him, and Harry already adores him. Therefore, Harry is free to go with his new Big Friend if he wants to, and all our own children are allowed to visit Big Harry whenever they want to. And, from now on, you shut up!"

Smiling broadly, Trudy sat herself down on her own couch like a queen, while she told me:

"From now on, Harry is all yours; and you can do with him as you wish. I can see in both your and his eyes that you and he belong to each other. That boy needs you, and I am sure you need that boy too! Tomorrow, I will ask John to help you with setting up Harry's old room, and I will ask Mark and Marrie to help move his belongings to your house. Now, go get Harry and take him with you. He sleeps in John's room, upstairs, second door to the left, and his clothes are on one of their chairs. Do you need any help dressing him?"

Smiling at me, Trudy pointed through the open door to the stairs in the hallway and beckoned me to go upstairs and get Harry...

Suddenly feeling numb and a bit shaky, I first shook my head to indicate I didn't need any help dressing my boy. Then, I slowly turned around, entered the dimly lit hallway, and hesitatingly climbed the stairs to the second floor and John's room. Feeling like an intruder, I opened the door to John's bedroom.

First, I saw John, peacefully sleeping in the nearest bed, with his head just above the blankets. Where was little Harry? Why didn't my boy sleep next to John? John had told me that his little brother used to crawl in his bed, because he used to sleep next to his Big Friend and hated sleeping alone.

Then, I saw my little soul mate, peacefully lying on his back in another bed. His small head rested on a pillow, while his distorted little mouth showed a faint smile. Feeling all mushy and full of love, I stepped inside, clicked the lights on, and stared at the softly snoring little boy who from now on would be 'my boy'.

9. The Kingdom of Heaven belongs to these.

In his sleep, little Harry had thrown his blankets halfway back; so that, for the first time, I could see some more of his burnt little body. At that same moment, I felt severely shocked! My own little brother had been burnt mainly on his face, his throat, and his hands, but this poor little orphan seemed to be burnt everywhere! Several raw stripes showed on his badly marred chest in at least three different colors, together with many reddish scars of past operations and lots of still growing wild flesh. A couple of small ribs showed through his tainted and colored skin, which looked way too strained and certainly way too tight to be comfortable. I could hardly imagine how many more operations this poor boy would need in his future, to remove all the excessive wild flesh and loosen his too taut skin.

After several seconds of looking at my boy's terribly marred chest, I decided to try to see some more of his burns before I woke him up, so that he wouldn't see my again shocked face. Therefore, I carefully lifted his blankets up and away... Immediately, I covered his naked little body again, when I found out that he didn't have any clothes on! Obviously, my boy slept in the nude; and looking at such a naked little body while its owner was asleep felt extremely inappropriate, almost as if I was violating my boy's personal privacy.

Only, what should I do now? Should I go downstairs and ask Trudy to help me dress him? Or, should I wake John first, and ask my young friend to help me with his little brother? At that moment, my boy moved in his sleep and again threw his blankets halfway back. Again, I stared at his unclad little chest, knowing that the rest of him was even more naked...

After some more pondering, I hesitantly decided that it didn't really matter. Obviously, Trudy had already trusted me with this little boy, while she probably knew he slept naked but anticipated that I would be able to dress him properly. Only my strict and puritanical upbringing forbade me to look at any naked or unclad bodies, unless those bodies belonged to 'your own flesh and blood'.

Again, I lifted my boy's blankets away from his naked little body. Again, I felt severely shocked when I saw the rest of his burns. His small belly looked purple and reddish, while his right hip was an ugly mixture of wild flesh and several nasty scars in all different colors. His left leg seemed to be less affected by the fire, but his right one was a total mess of still growing wild flesh and all sorts of ugly scars. Even his little pecker looked reddish and wrinkled, obviously also damaged by the fire. Would this poor boy ever be able to grow into a normal man and have children of his own?

While staring at the terrible sight of such a devastated little body, I nearly started to cry. This was not what I had expected to see, while remembering my own burnt little brother... Then, I pulled myself together, killed my disturbing emotions, and wiped my tears away, because I wanted to be strong for my boy. Gently, I caressed his sleeping little face, until he started to fidget and yawn.

Bending over towards him, I whispered into his ear:

"Harry? Do you remember me? I promised to take you home..."

Much to my delight, my boy woke up immediately. For a second, he rubbed his squinting eyes with the backs of his hands. Then, he opened them wide and looked at me. A smile from ear to ear told me he recognized me and felt very happy to see me! Immediately, he sat upright and threw his blankets aside, without any shame about his nudity. Longingly, he stretched his small arms out towards me, as if asking me to take him into my arms and give him a cuddle.

Of course, I did what my boy obviously wanted me to do. Gently, I took him into my arms, sat down on a corner of his bed, and lifted him onto my lap, this time facing me. Feeling all mushy and full of tender loving care for my boy, I kissed his scarred little forehead. Immediately, he tilted his head and kissed me back, full on my lips. Fortunately, and very much to my relief, my too puritanical inside seemed to have learnt its lesson and didn't react any more. Without any remorse, I just kissed my boy's wrinkled little lips back.

For a few seconds, we exchanged each other's kisses, and that felt wonderful. Then, with his surprisingly deep baritone voice and only a slight outlandish accent, my smiling boy asked me:

"Am I going to live with you now, in Jack's former house?"

Inwardly hoping my boy would say 'yes', I secretly crossed my fingers behind my back while I asked him:

"Do you really want to live with me from now on?"

"Of course, silly!" my boy responded immediately.

Showing me a beaming face and sparkling bright blue eyes, he slid off my lap, dived towards his chair, and started to put on his clothes. In the meantime, he talked, with a deep baritone voice and a strange but pleasant sounding outlandish accent. Only now and then, he mispronounced a too difficult word, or he didn't know where to put the accent, adding it to his being a really special kid.

While dressing, he told me he always slept in his 'birthday suit', because his burns started to itch under pressure or in a too warm bed. Jack used to massage his scars with some soothing oil, but John didn't know where the bottle was. He always wore underwear that was at least two sizes too big, to lessen the pressure on his itching burns. But, whenever possible, he preferred to walk around without any clothes on, to feel freer and unrestrained. Normally, he hated sleeping alone. Therefore, he always crawled next to John in John's bed. Only, tonight, he knew I was going to take him home, and he didn't want to wake his big brother. Therefore, he had decided to sleep in his own bed until I woke him up and took him home. All his belongings were stowed away since two months ago, when Jack suddenly died and he had to share John's bedroom. But, of course, from now on, he could have his own room back in Jack's house. Oops, sorry. He now could have his own room back in OUR house!

Much to my delight, my boy turned out to be extremely bright, very talkative, and an entertaining conversationalist. When he had to stop his waterfall of words to take a breath, I quickly jumped in and asked him a few questions. One by one, he thought my questions over carefully, before coming back with an intelligent and direct answer.

Then, as if taking revenge, my boy started to ask me his own questions! Was I married, where was my wife, did I have any children, did I have plans to remarry, what did I do for a living? Did I have enough money to maintain my new house, what did I need such a big house for, and did I have any plans for our future? And, most important, did I have a computer with a lot of funny games, because John didn't have any and they loved to play them?

My little soul mate seemed to be a thoughtful, funny, bright, and extremely intelligent little soldier; and I already started to like him more and more! When he was dressed up sufficiently for the cold evening, I took him into the hallway and lifted him onto my shoulders. Happily, he clamped his small hands around my forehead, with his little legs dangling free. Together, we went downstairs, on our way trying to tickle each other and having lots of fun.

Just before we entered the living room, I put him back onto his feet, to avoid him bumping his head against the doorpost. Walking together, we opened the door and entered the room. Eric seemed to have left, and the living room was silent except for some soft and nice sounding background music. Trudy sat again on her couch; but, this time, she had a sad face and puffy eyes full of tears, now and then wiping them with an already wet handkerchief.

My little soul mate went to her, stopped for a second to look at her teary face, and then consolingly put his small arms around her neck. While he started to yawn, he whispered into her ear:

"Let it go, Mom, and don't bottle it up. In a few minutes, you will feel a lot better."

While trying to hide her puffy eyes, Trudy smiled at my boy, hugged him tenderly, and told him he was a lucky boy.

"Yes, I certainly am!" my boy responded while returning her hug, "But I am too sleepy to talk now, and I want to go home."

Involuntarily, I got tears in my own eyes and secretly wiped them away, at hearing my boy call our house 'home'. To me, there was an enormous difference between a 'house' and a 'home'. Until now, I never had a 'home', but always just lived in my house...

Trying to hide my emotions, I first swallowed a couple of times to clear my voice. Then, I thanked Trudy for trusting me with my boy and with her children, and invited her for a talk and a drink the next day. I also promised her to take very good care of my boy, who would live in my house from now on and have his 'own' room back.

Impatiently, my again yawning boy took my hand and dragged me towards the door, as if urging me to leave Trudy's house and go home, because he was sleepy and we would have more than enough time to continue talking tomorrow... After we left Trudy's house, I lifted my yawning boy onto my shoulders. With his little legs dangling free and his small hands clamped around the top of my head, I took him to my house. Oops, sorry... I took him to OUR house.

Our street was already dark, except for some faintly illuminated circles below the glowing lampposts. While carrying my boy home, involuntarily, my meddlesome mind started to doubt again. For heaven's sake, what was I doing? Here I was, an 'ancient grandpa', carrying a little boy towards my house like some trophy, snatched away from Eric. Would I really be competent enough to raise such a vulnerable little orphan all alone? Probably, I didn't even have enough food in my house to feed him tomorrow morning! I still had to refill my nearly empty refrigerator; and I had to find my disappeared packet of tissues, a second toothbrush, more soap, and a lot more towels.

Would I really be the right person to educate this eight-year-old little Gypsy boy? Would I really be able to teach such a young child all the 'important things of life'? So far, I didn't have any real experience with raising young children, because I had only been working and working. During our marriage, my wife had made all the important decisions regarding our two daughters' upbringing, and I had always relied on her wise judgment and good sense. My only task in our household had been earning enough money; and, now and then, a cuddle and a quick kiss on a forehead.

Now that I thought about it some more, I had probably made a way too hasty decision by taking my little friend home. Children's Protection Services would never allow me to keep him. Jack, his former Big Friend, had been very lucky avoiding CPS during the two years little Harry had lived in his house. Besides, raising a growing boy was not the same thing as keeping a domestic pet. I would have to ask Trudy for advice and buy a couple of learning books about raising children, first thing in the morning!

In the meantime, little Harry still clamped his hands around my head, while he slowly swung his dangling legs. As we approached our house, his swinging became less and less until, at last, he stopped. Apparently, he nearly fell asleep on my shoulders, although his small hands continued to grip my hair.

Still worrying about my way too spontaneous decision, I entered my front garden and climbed the few steps to my porch. After sinking onto one knee to lower myself, I gently plucked a sleepy little Harry off my shoulders. Carefully, I put him onto his wobbly feet, to be able to get my keys and open the front door.

My boy woke up some, opened his eyes, and first produced a series of heartfelt yawns. This time, he was just a little boy, shivering from the nightly cold and swaying from sleepiness. Then, with a very sleepy baritone voice, he asked me:

"Are we home now? It's cold here, and I am very sleepy..."

"Just a moment please. Yes, we are home now, but I have to get my keys first to open the front door."

"Okay."

Only, where could I have left my keys? For the second time, I searched my pockets. Could I have lost my keys somewhere on the sidewalk, or perhaps while I was in John's house? Should I now turn around and try to follow my own trail backwards? Suddenly, I remembered I had forgotten to take my keys with me, when John and I left my house and I closed the front door. Of course, they were in my living room, lying on my desk, next to my telephone!

What should I do now? And, what should I do with little Harry who clearly needed his sleep? Would the police be able to help me, or perhaps the village's fire brigade? Or, should I call a locksmith, to help me open my front door? Unfortunately, my phone was lying on my desk in my living room, while I had locked myself out.

By now, I started to realize that I could have a serious problem! Should I try to smash a small window, perhaps at the backside of my house? Then, I could ask little Harry to climb inside, to get my keys from my desk and open our front door. Or, should I return to John's house and ask Trudy or Eric for help? Perhaps, I could try to smash a small window with one of my boy's white cobblestones.

Secretly, I hoped I had forgotten to lock the backdoor, because I was only a forgetful 'ancient grandpa'. Of course, I was relatively sure I had locked the backdoor from the inside, but one can never know. This time, I really hoped that rascal Thomas would be right! Well, there was only one way to find out. Determinedly, I took my boy's hand and started to descend the few porch steps, planning to walk around my house and reach the backdoor in the pitch dark...

Only, immediately after taking the first step downwards, little Harry stopped abruptly and refused to go on! With a surprised face, he looked up at me with his piercing bright blue eyes. For a second, I thought that my little Shaman would again read my mind, this time to find out why we didn't enter our house and go to bed.

Then, his sleepy baritone voice objected:

"What are you doing? I thought we would go inside?"

"Yes, I know; but I forgot to put my keys in my pocket when John and I left the house. Now, I hope I also forgot to lock the backdoor, otherwise we will have to smash a window and you will have to climb inside, to get my keys from my desk in the living room."

Much to my surprise, my little imp just woke up completely and immediately started to bellow with laughter! First, he slapped his small knees and almost hiccupped from sudden fun. Then, he determinedly took my hand and started to drag me around the house and into the pitch-dark backyard.

While I tried not to stumble in the darkness, my boy chuckled:

"You and Jack could be brothers, because Jack always forgot his keys or his wallet! Now and then, we had to smash a window at the back of our house, and I had to crawl inside to get our keys and open the front door. At last, we hid a spare key in a bush at the backside, in case Jack forgot his keys again. Nobody else knows about it, except for John, so I am sure that our key will still be there."

Feeling ashamed of my very obvious forgetfulness, I let myself be dragged towards the back of my house. In the pitch dark, my still chuckling little imp left my hand and immediately disappeared into a thick bush that grew against the wall. Within two seconds, he returned, proudly carrying a rusty spare key. With a smug face, he unlocked the backdoor, and told me in his best French:

"Voila, monsieur; and after you."

After putting Jack's spare key back onto its hidden nail inside the thick bush, my boy followed me into my house. First, he rushed to my living room, and quickly returned with my keys from my desk. Then, he relocked the backdoor from the inside. Without saying a word, but with a huge smile from ear to ear on his proudly beaming little face, he demonstratively worked my keys into a pocket of my trousers.

Wow, what an extremely special boy was he. Inwardly, I found out that I already started to love his joyful spirit and playful antics very much! Feeling full of love for my again yawning boy, I hugged him and ruffled his unruly blond hair. Immediately, he threw his small arms around my waist and hugged me back fiercely. Then, while climbing onto one of the folding chairs, he yawned:

"Could I please have a cup of hot chocolate, before we go to bed?"

"Do you want one or two helpings of chocolate powder?"

"Two helpings, of course! I am still a bit too small for my age, so I need a lot extra of everything, to grow faster."

"Well, your cleverness certainly is not too small for your age. Could you please get the milk from the refrigerator?"

My boy nodded, hopped off his chair, went to the refrigerator, and returned with the bottle of milk. In the meantime, I found my chocolate powder in one of my cupboards and put it onto the table. Next, I took an empty pan from the sink and held it up in front of my little imp. Of course, I assumed he would only smile, and leave the cooking to me. However, my little imp just took the bottle of milk from the table and deftly opened it. Next, he poured exactly the right amount of milk into the pan, without spilling a drop.

While I put the pan onto my electric cook top, I praised him:

"You seem to have a good eye for the right amount of milk!"

With a proud face and sparkling blue eyes, my boy responded:

"I know, and that is because Jack and I always cooked together."

Trying to tease the obviously bragging little boy with his so-called 'cooking skills', I asked him:

"Well, I have to admit am not very good at cooking. Perhaps, you could teach me a couple of things?"

With a proudly beaming face, my imp immediately responded:

"Okay. Starting tomorrow, I will teach you how to cook properly."

While looking at my little imp's very convincing face, I happily ruffled his unruly blond hair. Of course, I supposed he was bragging about teaching me how to cook properly. As he was only eight years old, he certainly couldn't be much of a real chef...

After finishing our hot chocolate, I washed our used cups and the pan, and my boy dried them with the only kitchen towel I had been able to find. Using a folding chair to climb onto the sideboard, he put everything away into the appropriate cupboards, before he jumped back onto the kitchen floor without any help. Chuckling, I thought he seemed to be at least as tidy as John had been.

Looking up at me with sleepy eyes, my boy yawned:

"Can we please go to bed now? Where are we sleeping?"

"Well, I will sleep in my own bedroom; and, now that you start living here again, you will sleep in your own room."

"But, the movers have taken away all of Jack's possessions, so that my own room is still empty! I want to sleep next to you in your bed, as I always did with Jack and still do with John."

Suddenly feeling uneasy, I quickly responded:

"Well, I think that is not such a good idea. Of course, you ought to sleep in your own room, in your own bed! Let's have a look at your old room now, upstairs, the second door to the left."

"How do you know where my old room is? Did John tell you?"

"As a matter of fact, yes, he did."

"I thought so, because John knows everything about me."

Without waiting for me, my little imp left our kitchen and raced up the steps to the second floor, while I followed him upstairs at a more leisurely pace. Of course, my boy had already disappeared around the corner, while I was still dragging myself up to the second floor. From the second hallway, I saw him stare through the open door into his old room, with a smug face.

When I reached his room, he turned towards me and wheedled:

"See? My room is still empty because my bed is still in John's room. Therefore, I cannot sleep here tonight! But, I am only a tiny kid, and I don't use up much space in YOUR bed."

Chuckling at hearing my boy's clever antics, I responded:

"Nice try! Have you ever slept in a folding bed?"

"Of course, silly! After I fled from the orphanage, I've even slept on a wooden bench in a park, until the police found me and Margaret from 'See Pee Es' took me to her madhouse hospital. Do you really have a folding bed?"

"Yes. To be prepared for everything, I've even purchased two folding beds. Let's get one from the attic..."

Without waiting for me, my boy trotted to the hallway, where he tried to reach the pulling cord by jumping up and down as high as he could. Of course, he was too short to get hold of it, so I took over and pulled the sliding stairs down. Immediately, he clambered upstairs and switched the attic lights on. Curiously, he looked around at all the spare things I had been stowing away for later use.

Together, we took one of my folding beds and carried it towards the hatch. From there, I dragged it down the stairs, while my little helper assisted me from the attic. Working closely together, we carried the folding bed into his old room and set it up. Of course, he had to try it out first, by jumping up and down on it. Then, I got a couple of fresh sheets and blankets from my hallway closet, and he helped me put them onto his makeshift bed.

10. Getting used to seeing little Harry's burns.

When his bed was ready, I went to my own bedroom to get him a pillow, and my boy followed me inside. Curiously, he started to walk around while looking at my belongings. Would he now remember Jack's former bed and everything else that they had shared? Unexpectedly, I saw my disappeared packet of tissues, as if teasingly winking at me from my nightstand! Chuckling, I remembered I had put it there myself, and totally forgot where I had left it. Obviously, rascal Thomas had been right, after all. I had really started to be a forgetful 'ancient grandpa'! Involuntarily, I started to laugh.

My boy looked at me with a questioning face and asked:

"What is so funny? What are you laughing at?"

"Well. I had put this packet of tissues on my nightstand, and then totally forgot where I left it."

Again, my little imp started to bellow with laughter, while his deep baritone voice chuckled:

"You and Jack really could be brothers! Both of you seem to be just as absent-minded, always forgetting something important."

Feeling a bit affronted by such a tiny boy laughing at me, I scooped him off the floor and teasingly tossed him onto my waterbed. For a split second, he looked shocked and disorientated, while his bright blue eyes pierced into mine as if looking for any telltale signs of anger. Then, he felt the wobbling bed! Immediately, he clambered upright and started to bounce up and down with all of his might. He threw himself at the wobbles and enthusiastically shouted:

"Yippee, you have a WATER bed!"

Trying to tease him some more, I warned him:

"You better look out, before you punch a hole in the water and the bed leaks!"

Suddenly, my enthusiastic imp fell quiet and started to look the waterbed over for any visible leaks. "Really?" he asked in a small baritone voice, while carefully leaving the bed.

"Of course not, silly. I am only teasing you. This waterbed can easily carry two elephants without problems!"

"Then, YOU are silly!" my chuckling little imp concluded.

Again, he started to test the waterbed, by jumping up and down as high as he could. His enthusiastic jumps and pranks were a funny and joyful sight, and I enjoyed myself immensely watching his beaming face and sparkling eyes. Although he had been around me for less than an hour, I already started to love my spontaneous little friend very much. Apart from that, he certainly was working his way deeply into my heart! Still enjoying his antics, I sat down on a corner of my wobbling waterbed, patiently waiting until he would wind down.

At last, my enthusiastic imp seemed to feel both satisfied and too tired. After performing his last high jump, he just sprang towards me and threw himself onto my lap. Heaving a couple deep sighs of content, he tried to melt away in my enveloping aura. Gently, I put my arms around his small frame and pulled him towards my chest, realizing that I already very much enjoyed being the new 'Big Friend' of such an extremely special child. Surprisingly, all my qualms about not being able to raise him had faded away. From now on, I would do everything I could to always be there for my boy, who so trustfully committed himself to me. I really hoped that CPS would allow me to keep him for a very long time.

For quite some time, we just sat together, basking in each other's close togetherness and in our mutual love that seemed to be growing by the minute. Now and then, I kissed the top of my boy's small head, which made him try to melt into my enveloping aura even deeper. That is, until he started to produce another series of heartfelt yawns, and I thought now would be a good time to put him to bed. After again kissing the top of his unruly blond hair, I asked him:

"Shall I put you to bed now?"

While producing another heartfelt yawn, my sleepy looking boy nodded his consent. He even lifted both arms high into the air, as if he expected me to help with his undressing. Of course, I happily helped him shuck his clothes, as I had done with my own daughters so many times before. Old memories turned up in my mind, of my own girls being in their carefree youth full of joy and happiness. How I wished I would be able to give my boy the same carefree youth my two daughters had, despite his severe burns. Inwardly, I again promised I would do everything in my control to help my boy grow up in lots and lots of tender loving care!

Soon, little Harry was clad only in his loose fitting yellow snoopy briefs. All the time, he had a blissful smile on his happy looking face, as if he enjoyed my help very much and life was good. Now, he hopped off my lap, turned around, and looked at me as if he waited for me to finish his final undressing... Suddenly, I felt unsure, because I didn't know how I should proceed from here. My boy had already told me he always slept without any clothes on, clad only in his 'birthday suit', because his burns started to itch under pressure or in a too warm bed. Only, did he really want me to take off his briefs as well? Wouldn't that be very inappropriate, for a grownup who was not related to him and only knew him for such a short time?

How would our meddlesome Big Brother society react, if they ever heard of my undressing such a small boy to nakedness? Wouldn't they try to convict me and put me in jail, for performing 'improper behavior' with an 'unrelated minor'? Of course, I didn't want to be put in jail for society's crazy beliefs! However, I also didn't want to reject or disappoint my new little friend, who just started to trust me and only asked me to help him with his undressing. Wanting to have his explicit permission first, I asked my boy:

"Do you really want me to take off your briefs as well?"

Looking at me as if he couldn't understand why I even bothered asking him, my boy responded:

"Of course, silly! I've already told you I always sleep in my birthday suit, because my burns start to itch under pressure or in a too warm bed. By the way, do you have some soothing oil to rub it into my scars, as Jack always did before we went to bed?"

"Well, let me think. Will a few drops of massage-oil do?"

"I don't know. Will you wash it off if it makes the itching worse?"

"I promise!"

Again feeling unsure, I bent over towards my boy and hesitantly peeled his loose fitting briefs off. For a second, I tried not to look at his unclad body, because I didn't want him to think I could be a 'dirty old man' lusting over naked children. Then, I couldn't help staring at all those ugly scars and all the wild flesh that marred what once had been a perfect little body. What an enormous burden this poor child had to bear, at such a young age! Why was life punishing such a small child for something that clearly was not his fault? Or, could my little friend be 'redeeming some old Karma' as my old Indian Shaman once tried to tell me? At that time, I didn't believe the old Shaman, and thought he only explained his Indian belief to me. Later, I found out that almost every religion in the world believes in some form of punishment or redemption for our formerly committed sins and misdeeds. However, what terrible kind of 'committed sin' could demand such an extremely harsh punishment? Involuntarily, I got tears in my eyes from compassion and frustration.

All the time, my little Shaman stared into my eyes, while his wise blue orbs filled with more and more love and understanding. My inside was sure he had again picked up my thoughts, and he now wanted to help me feel better, just like his big brother had done. For a second, he put his small arms around my body and hugged me fiercely. Then, he left me and took a couple of steps backwards. Much to my surprise, he started to turn around, to let me have a good look at his burns as seen from every possible direction. Still looking at me with his understanding bright blue orbs, my boy told me:

"I know that my burns always have such an effect on new people, even on new doctors and nurses in the hospital. Therefore, please, first take a very good look at my ugly burns and scars, so that you get used to them. Then, try to understand that the REAL Harry isn't this burnt body, but he only lives inside it; and please don't pity me any longer, because I am NOT a cripple!"

My confused mind needed several seconds to think over what my brave little soldier had told me. Then, I choked up and started to cry uncontrollably! In a teary blur, I saw my burnt little friend turning around and around, while trustingly showing me his so terribly burnt body with all its ugly scars and still growing wild flesh. Again, I sensed an astonishing maturity and a surprising amount of Inner Pride in my boy's demeanor, as if this tiny boy really was an Aristocrat! Was this so extremely mature child only eight years old? What an astonishing insight did this little boy have in who he really was, for such a small kid! Had I ever been afraid I would not be able to raise HIM? I was now sure that this boy would be able to raise ME, easily and effortlessly, and he would do a very good job!

After taking another good look at my boy's burns, as he had asked me to do, I took a couple of deep breaths and pulled myself together, because I wanted to be strong for my boy. Of course, he was right. I had to get used to seeing his ugly burns and scars as soon as possible! Overflowing with even more love and compassion for my so special little friend, I reached for him and gently pulled him onto my lap.

Immediately, my boy let himself go and tried to melt away in my enveloping aura, while heaving a couple deep sighs of content. Again, he opened up to me and let me read his inside like an open book. This time, I sensed him leaving the last traces of his remaining fears, while at the same time establishing an unbreakable bond with me! From now on, I would always be his one and only 'Big Friend', even after death parted us. For the remainder of his life, he would be totally devoted to me, who once had been his 'Beloved Gypsy Monarch Harold the Great' and his trapper Dad. Working closely together, nothing or nobody would ever be able to separate us from each other, not even death. This so special little child really was MY BOY, my one and only little Soul Mate, and I was his 'Beloved Monarch Harold the Great' and his great-grandfather from one of our past lives, next to being his former trapper Dad. Feeling an intense gratitude, I again got tears in my eyes, this time from pure joy and excitement.

Quickly, my little soul mate left my lap and slid down onto the floor. He trotted towards the packet of tissues on my nightstand and opened it. While carrying a couple of tissues in his small hands, he quickly returned to me and clambered back onto my lap. Showing me his smuggest face, he gently admonished me:

"Don't cry any more but only ENJOY my pleasant company!"

With little fun lights in his naughty looking bright blue eyes, he took a few tissues and started to dry my teary eyes. After cleaning my face, he even tried to let me blow my nose! Again, I saw his proud aura of Pure Nobility, as if this boy could be of Royal Heritage. He could easily be a little Prince, used to giving commands to his beloved subjects. Who the heck WAS this small but extremely special little boy? And, who the heck was I, to be his new 'Big Friend'?

Hesitantly, I touched an ugly looking string of still growing wild flesh on my boy's right hip. When or where would I have to be careful with touching his so badly burnt body? Still feeling very impressed by my boy's proud demeanor, I asked him:

"Does it hurt when I touch your scars? When, or where, do I have to be careful with your burns?"

With a happy smile, my brave little soldier explained:

"Touching my scars only tickles a little bit. It starts to hurt badly when my skin becomes too tight and I stretch out too much. Then, my doctors will again loosen the too tight skin. They told me I am very lucky that I am still able to feel all the important things like touch, hot, and cold. Under my burnt skin, all my important nerves are still intact, because Jack immediately rolled me around in some cold and wet grass. My burns only start itching terribly if there is a constant pressure on them, like wearing too tight clothes or lying in a too warm bed. My doctor had prescribed some soothing oil, but I don't know where the bottle is. John has already looked for it, but he too couldn't find it. I think the house owners have thrown it away, together with Jack's other possessions. Now, I feel too sleepy to tell you more, but I promise to tell you everything tomorrow morning as soon as we are awake. Please, could we go to bed now?"

Of course, as a responsible grownup, I should have thought of such an important thing myself! Although my little soul mate acted extremely mature for his young age, ultimate, he was only a small boy, and I remembered from my own daughters that young children needed lots and lots of sleep! Again feeling all mushy and full of love, I lifted my boy into my arms, while he put his small arms around my neck. Without thinking, I put one hand under his unclad little bottom, to support his weight. OOPS! Wouldn't touching this most private part of my naked boy be way too improper?

Much to my relief, my boy didn't even flinch, probably because he was already used to John or Jack carrying him around like this. He only snuggled even closer against my chest and cozily pushed his head under my chin. Feeling reassured, I left my hand where it was, while I carried him into his own room. With a deep sigh of content, my boy crawled under the blankets of his makeshift bed and closed his eyes. Only, I had promised to look for my bottle of massage oil! Therefore, I hurried downstairs. Without any problems, I found the small bottle in one of my halfway filled cardboard boxes. Feeling happy, I returned into my boy's room with the bottle of massage oil in my hand, ready to anoint his itchy scars. However, he opened his eyes only a little bit while he mumbled:

"This bed isn't too warm, so I think I don't need any oil tonight."

He smiled apologetically, yawned, and disappeared into dreamland. Still feeling full of love and all mushy inside, I turned around and tiptoed out of his room, leaving the door ajar. Inwardly, I prayed to any Supreme Being that society would allow me to keep my boy for a very long time. I already started to love him more and more; and I would do everything that I could to be a real 'Big Friend' to my little soul mate who still needed me, despite his so astonishing maturity.

After returning into my own bedroom, I first folded my boy's small clothes and neatly put them onto one of the chairs. Tomorrow, my young neighbors would bring his other possessions, and John would help him with setting up his 'old' room. After they were ready, I would take my boy downtown to buy him more furniture to decorate his room. And, of course, I still needed to refill my nearly empty refrigerator! Quickly, I undressed and went to my bathroom, because I wanted to take a warm shower. However, even after lots of trying, the light bulb over my head refused to switch on. Feeling a bit irritated, I washed myself with cold water in the dark. Tomorrow, both little Harry and I would first take a warm morning shower. Then, I would try to repair the obviously defective light bulb.

While walking back to my bedroom, I suddenly realized that I was completely naked! OOPS! Suppose my boy woke up and left his room to go to the bathroom or drink some water. Wouldn't he feel terribly shocked and perhaps even start screaming if he saw me like this, clad only in my 'birthday suit'? Had this little boy ever seen a grownup without any clothes on, while living in our so extremely prudish world? That would be very unlikely! Besides, our society makes us believe that young children, confronted unexpectedly with seeing a naked grownup, will be damaged for the remainder of their lives. Of course, both as a loving father and as an experienced psychotherapist, I had never seen any valid proof that confirmed any of those silly fables. However, I HAD to reckon with society's crazy beliefs, whether they were right or not. Otherwise, they could make my life, and that of my little friend, very difficult. Nobody would ever listen to my valid arguments, because 'they' would be sure they were right, and they would probably tell me that 'everybody knows this'.

Normally, I always took a quick shower and then just jumped under my blankets. However, now that I had a small child living in my house, I had to change my usual habits drastically! Of course, his wardens or his school had already told him to always look out for any signs of 'improper behavior' from so-called 'danger strangers'. Therefore, I decided to keep my briefs on from now on, just for prudence reasons. One could never know. Still muttering under my breath, I took a fresh pair of briefs and quickly put them on. Then, I again left my bedroom and tiptoed towards little Harry's room, just to have another look at my little tenant. My boy was already sound asleep, softly snoring, with a satisfied smile on his so badly burnt little face. Feeling happy and full of tender loving care, I returned to my own bedroom, crawled under my blankets, hugged my pillow, closed my eyes, and tried to get some sleep.

Immediately, the disturbing view of my boy's terribly devastated little body returned into my mind, making me shudder with horror! Would his doctors ever be able to give him a more presentable look, maybe by using some newly discovered 'cultivated skin transplant' that I once read about? How many more operations would my boy need in the future, to loosen his too tight skin or to give him artificial lips and a somewhat better looking nose? Would he ever be able to have children of his own, because of his so badly damaged little pecker? I wasn't rich, but I would happily spend all my money on my so terribly burnt little soul mate, to help him feel a little bit happier! If only I knew how to help him.

At last, sleep took over and I disappeared into dreamland. Soon, I started to dream, about going to an expensive 'skin transplant clinic' where my little soul mate got a brand new face and nice looking new skin on his completely rejuvenated body...

11. Remembrances and an intellagent octopus.

Halfway through the night, I woke up, because my full bladder demanded my attention. Still feeling sleepy, I fumbled around until I found my night light and clicked it on. Slowly, my conscious mind returned, while my old and a bit rusty brain needed some more time to realize where I was. Here I was, lying in a strangely wobbling bed, in some foreign looking room with brand new curtains that I didn't recognize. Then, my memories returned, and I was able to recall everything that had happened. Since two days, I was living in my newly bought house in this small village. Within a few hours, I had met five young neighborhood children who unexpectedly tumbled into my driveway. Two young boys, John and his so badly burnt little Gypsy brother, had already become very good friends. One of them, my eight-year-old little soul mate, was now living in my house. He was peacefully sleeping in his own room, in one of my folding beds from the attic. How would he be doing? After I returned from the bathroom, I would have another quick peek at him.

Unexpectedly, I heard a faint snoring sound that came from my left side. This was extremely strange! Was my divorced spouse again sleeping next to me? Cautiously, I turned around, to take a look at whom that faint snoring sound belonged to. Then, I started to chuckle when reality dawned upon me. Was I sure that my little soul mate was peacefully sleeping in his own room? Then, what was that heat radiating small body next to me? It had glued itself to my left side; holding on to me with all its small limbs as some affectionate octopus. My little soul mate had stretched out at full length, with his entire body pressed against my left side. Obviously, he had woken up sometime during the night and silently crawled into my bed. Perhaps he had felt alone, or he had had a bad dream and looked for protection. Now, he tried to have as much bodily contact with me as he could muster, with his small arms and legs draped all over me, holding onto me with all of his might. He really reminded me of some small octopus, although a real octopus should have eight limbs.

Careful not to wake my softly snoring little octopus, I turned around to have a better look at my boy without waking him up. Although he was still deep asleep, he showed me a beautiful smile full of pure bliss and sheer happiness on his beaming little face. For a long time, I stared at my softly snoring little friend next to me, while I remembered what John had told me about his little brother crawling into his bed and sleeping next to him every night, because he used to sleep next to Jack and felt alone without his Big Friend next to him. Only, Jack had been his rescuer, after their caravan burnt down and only he survived. Jack had supported him during his hospitalization, and taught him the new language and our habits. Because of what Jack had done, he had almost been my boy's second father!

On the other hand, officially, I was nothing more to this boy than only a friendly neighbor who wanted to help him and had given him his old room back. I was sure that, to everybody around me, I was only a 'stranger' who was 'unrelated' to this little boy. Our so mistrustful society certainly would NOT reckon with our 'past lives', 'spirit helpers', or being 'soul mates'. Everybody would only see an 'old grandpa', allowing a young child to sleep next to him in his bed. Surely, they would consider this as being 'unnatural behavior', and they would act accordingly. Hadn't our over-prudish 'society' ever heard of Eskimo parents and their children, peacefully sleeping together in one huge bed? Did 'they' seriously believe that those Eskimo kids would be damaged for the remainder of their lives by seeing their parents naked, or by frequently seeing their naked parents petting to make their next little brother or sister? How ignorant.

What should I do now? Should I carry my sleeping little soul mate back to his own bed? After some more pondering and listening to my 'own heart', as my 'spirit guide', Jack, had told me to always do, I decided not to send my little soul mate back to his folding bed. My own heart told me, loud and clear, that little Harry needed our close contact to feel even safer and more loved in his new environment. He had chosen to crawl into my double waterbed all by himself, voluntarily, and on his own account, knowing I would accept him and that he would be absolutely safe with me. Therefore, I was NOT going to deny my vulnerable little Gypsy boy what he seemed to need so badly, despite what any meddlesome society might think of this 'ancient grandpa' loving a small boy.

Now that I had made up my mind, I only hoped my boy would be wise enough not to blabber about our sleeping habits to anybody else, maybe except for John. At this early stage, I didn't want to take any unnecessary risk, because I was already planning to try to adopt him as my own son. Soon, I would contact Children's Protection Services, anonymously, or I would try to find a reliable lawyer and ask him for advice. Secretly, I even hoped that my fame as a well-known psychotherapist would help me to obtain what my boy needed and what my own heart wanted.

Carefully, I tried to unglue my little limpet from my left side without waking him. However, I had to lift him up and push him towards the other side of our wobbling waterbed, to be able to free myself from my still clamping little octopus. For a second, I heard him mumble something unintelligible, but he didn't wake up and just slept on. Silently, I left my warm and cozy bed. Shivering from the sudden cold, I trotted downstairs to empty my bladder.

When I returned, my boy seemed to have missed me, because he had crawled all over our bed. He was now laying spread out diagonally and effectively blocking my space! I had to lift him out of the way to be able to enter my side of the bed. Again, he only mumbled some but didn't wake up. Smilingly, I closed my eyes again, planning to resume my sleep, until my boy suddenly shifted towards me and forcefully pressed his surprisingly warm body against my left side! He felt around where my arms were, and adeptly wormed himself into their embrace. With a happy sigh, he mumbled something unintelligible and immediately fell asleep again.

No words on earth will ever be able to describe adequately how wonderful I now felt! My cuddly little friend was stirring so many parental feelings in my heart that I nearly started to cry from happiness. My entire body started to tingle with love, while my heart danced around in my chest from pure joy. For the first time after my own horrible youth, my inside started to feel totally and completely alive. Even my young friend John had not been able to have such a profound impact on my mental happiness!

Again, faint memories showed up in my mind, of my little son and I living together in our wooden log cabin. We were trappers, living from catching wild deer and selling their pelts. During the day, my boy always helped me with everything. At night, we always slept in each other's arms, to keep each other warm and to feel safe and cozy during the dark and mostly cold nights.

Feeling wonderful and full of love for my softly snoring little son, I woke up from my 'memories' and felt very strange, as if coming out of a trance. Still wondering about my 'remembrances' from our 'past lives', I pulled my sleeping little soul mate even closer to my side; feeling full of love but careful not to wake him up. Immediately, my boy shifted towards me even more, as if he tried to melt into my broad chest. I even thought I heard him purr in his sleep like some happy little kitten. Gently, I put my nose in his unruly hair and inhaled the scent of my boy. He had a very nice aroma of light musk and a little bit sweaty, and another nice scent I only could describe as Pure Boy! Again getting tears in my eyes, I almost choked up from the intense tender loving care I now felt. Again, I decided I would do everything I could to help my little friend who so trustfully and totally committed himself to me. All my qualms had disappeared, and I now wanted to keep my boy for a very long time!

Still having my softly snoring little friend in my arms, I fell asleep. Immediately, I tumbled into a strange dream. My little son and I were living together in our small log cabin, as lone trappers in a huge forest, making a living from setting traps, hunting deer, and selling pelts. My wife had died in childbirth, so I had to raise her baby all on my own. Sometimes, our closest neighbor helped me, by babysitting my boy while I was away. He was a bachelor, our dearest friend, and both my son and I were very fond of him. Our friend had John's deep brown eyes and dark hair with little curls around the edges.

From a very young age, my little son wanted to help me, eagerly asking me to teach him everything that I knew. Soon, I taught him how to sneak noiselessly, recognize the faintest animal tracks, and set up nearly invisible traps. He also helped me cleaning our caught animals and smoking their meat over our fire. He even had his own knife, which he kept in excellent condition by sharpening it against a flat rock. Much to my delight, he also had an infallible sense for which herbs he should add to our roasting meat, to improve the taste. He knew exactly which herbs could be dangerous or poisonous, by 'talking' to them in his mind or by 'sensing' their energy field.

At night, my boy and I always slept together on our makeshift leaves-and-pelts bed, under our nicely warming deer furs, feeling cozy and safe, with our arms folded around each other to be protected from the nightly cold. Of course, in bed, we didn't have any clothes on and were clad in only our birthday suits, because we only had our heavy fur coats to dress in, and nobody ever told us that sleeping naked together could be seen as 'improper behavior' or 'seducing a minor'. In addition, no frustrated stranger ever told us to be ashamed of certain 'private' parts of our unclad bodies. Therefore, from when my boy was only a baby, he grew up in total freedom, feeling absolutely happy and enjoying every wonderful moment in his young life! Until a grizzly bear killed first us and then our dearest friend. In Heaven, we met our Beloved Ancestors and Cosmic Guides, who asked us to reincarnate and work closely together, to help our so terribly confused Planet Earth...

Feeling very strange, I woke up from my vivid dream, still having my snoring little son in my arms. First, I needed a couple of seconds to realize where I was now. Where was our cozy log cabin, and what had happened to the usual forest sounds around us? Then, I realized I only had a realistic dream, as if I again remembered my 'past life' as a trapper. Surprisingly, my Own Heart immediately accepted that my dream had been genuine! I really had relived one of our 'past lives', having little Harry as my own son and John as our dearest friend. A grizzly bear killed us, and we returned to our timeless Eternal Realm, where we met our Ancestors and Spirit Friends. Now, after being reborn and having grown up some, our Spirit Guide had brought us together again, to recognize each other, again be very close friends, and finally start working together.

Slowly, the atmosphere in my bedroom started to change. A very bright unearthly light started to shine around us, seemingly coming from everywhere, while everything else around my boy and me felt peaceful and full of Love. For a second, I was afraid I could have died and entered Heaven. Then, I saw Jack, my boy's former 'Big Friend' who was now our 'Spirit Guide', looking at my softly snoring little soul mate and at me with a warm and approving smile on his face, as if he felt very happy to see us lying together like this. With very much respect in his warm and soulful voice, Jack told me:

"My dear brother; fortunately, you are doing all the right things without making any serious mistakes. Therefore, please stop doubting, only listen to your Own Heart instead of to your analytical brain, and you will always know what to do. From now on, you are your son's guardian and he is your responsibility. Spend everything you have on him, and you will be royally rewarded!"

Lifting both hands in a blessing gesture, Jack engulfed my boy and me with a huge amount of Cosmic Power and Pure Love, making me feel drowsy and all mushy inside. Basking in Jack's powerful healing energy from our 'timeless Eternal Realm', my inside was suddenly sure I had been able to use exactly that same Healing Energy, as a Healing Shaman and Cosmic Mage! Faint memories showed up from when I was our Supreme High Priest and keeper of the Ark of the Covenant in our Temple of Isis of around five-thousand-years ago. Seven carefully elected Cosmic Priests were devoted to me, and I would meet all of them in this lifetime, to work together and transfer our so confused Planet Earth into a much better place to live on!

Slowly, Jack's bright light disappeared; while I woke up as if coming out of a deep trance, still feeling confused. Was this for real? Had I really remembered my past life as a trapper, seen Jack next to my bed and heard his warm voice, and remembered being a Cosmic High Priest who was the Supreme Leader of seven devoted Cosmic Priests? After forcing myself to wake up and open my eyes, I started to laugh at my own weird thoughts. Of course, this had only been a very strange dream, and everybody knows that dreams are never true. Yet, a teasing little voice in my inside told me: 'Wait and see'...

Now that I was awake, I started to recall my strange dream. What could have happened to me? My inside was sure this had not been a normal dream! Had I really remembered my past life as a trapper; having Harry as my own little son and John as our best trapper friend? Had I really seen the spirit of 'Jack', who was the deceased owner of my house, little Harry's former Big Friend, and our so-called 'Spirit Guide'? Besides, what had Jack meant with 'Spend everything you have on him, and you will be royally rewarded'? Although I wasn't rich, I did have some money to spend. Jack had also told me, 'listen to your Own Heart instead of to your analytical brain'; but my own heart only told me 'bump-bump, bump-bump'. Jack also promised, 'You will always know what to do', but I hadn't the faintest idea of what to do. Still doubting and pondering, I drifted into a deep sleep, with my snoring boy in my arms and feeling warm and cozy and all mushy. Again, I felt like lying in our log cabin under our cozy fur pelts, having my snoring little son in my arms and feeling happy.

Early in the morning, the sun peeked through a crack in my new curtains and tickled my eyelids, until I woke up. First, I yawned and stretched out lazily, before I opened my eyes. Much to my surprise, I stared straight into a pair of beautiful bright blue eyes that looked like two bottomless orbs that immediately pierced deeply into mine, while radiating an enormous amount of intelligence, a lot of pride, very much fun, and lots of Pure Love, all in one. Obviously, my little soul mate had woken up and crawled onto my chest, now staring at me with a broad smile from ear to ear on his beaming face.

When he saw that I opened my eyes and looked back at him, he first offered me a big morning kiss by pressing his small lips against mine. Then, his deep and sonorous baritone voice teased me:

"Morning, sleepy head! I thought you would never wake up..."

"Morning to you too. But, why would you think such a thing?"

"Of course, I am only TEASING you; silly."

"Well, calling me 'silly' earns you a morning tickle-torture!"

Chuckling at seeing my boy's surprised face, I started to tickle his little frame, while I was very careful not to hurt or irritate any of his colored burns or reddish scars. Again, happy memories showed up in my mind, of doing the same things with my own daughters when they woke me up in the morning by suddenly jumping onto my sleeping chest. Now, after sixty-five-years without any grandchildren, I was tickling my own SON. Soon, I found out that my boy was not very ticklish, unlike my own daughters had been. He only squirmed a little bit, chuckled at my futile efforts to attack his ribs, and ferociously started to tickle me back. Within a second, I had a lot of difficulty in defending myself against his cleverly aimed attacks.

He knew exactly what to do, and effortlessly found my sensitive spots. Probably, he had done this many times before, with his parents, with Jack, or with John. He also was surprisingly strong for such a small boy! While looking at his beaming face, my heart melted again with pure love and joy; and I felt elated to see my boy enjoying our close intimacy so much. My little friend seemed to crave it! When my old ribs could no longer stand his ferocious tickling, I grabbed his tiny hips and lifted him high into the air. Trying to surprise him, I suddenly tossed him towards the other side of our waterbed. Immediately, he crawled back while trying to look mock angry. He launched himself at me and again started to tickle my ribs, looking at me with two sparkling bright blue eyes in a beaming face. Still trying to look mock angry, his deep baritone voice told me:

"Every time you throw me away, I will tickle you again!"

Chuckling at the thought of 'throwing him away', I responded:

"Oh yeah? What makes you think I will let you win that easily?"

"Because I am too intellagent for an old man like you!"

Smiling at hearing my boy's linguistic error, I teased him:

"My 'old' brain thinks the correct word is 'intelligent' with an 'i'."

Immediately, my boy retorted, still with brightly sparkling eyes:

"You and Jack really could be brothers, because you are just as critical as Jack was! For us Gypsies, your language is very difficult to learn, and I have only spoken it for two years. But, Jack also called me his 'linguistic miracle', so I'm sure I cannot be that bad. Now, beware, because this intelligent linguistic miracle is going to WIN!"

Again, my boy dived for my ribs, obviously trying to force me to give up. Again, he knew exactly what to do to make this 'old man' squirm around on our wobbling waterbed. Trying to fend him off in vain, although both he and I still had lots of fun, I decided to let him win. Therefore, I opened my arms wide and just slumped down in surrender. With triumph in his brightly sparkling eyes, he jumped onto my chest and quickly pinned my arms to our bed.

Looking proud, his deep baritone voice told me:

"Gotcha! What are you going to do now?"

"Okay, I give up! You've won my body, my heart, and my soul."

"Huh? I've won your body... your heart... and your soul? You really are a silly old man, but I love you anyway! Now, wait for me and don't move, because I have to pee first."

12. My skilled cookie and amazing little chef.

Quickly, he jumped off my chest, expertly slid down from our wobbling waterbed, and raced towards the door, while his naked frame with uncombed hair looked like a wild savage that planned to sneak out for a hunt. His little backside full of nasty scars playfully wiggled at me, before he disappeared through the door. I heard him race down the stairs in a hurry and recklessly jump down the last few steps, to present his offering to the ceramic god just in time. Inwardly, I chuckled, while realizing that I enjoyed my boy's 'pleasant company' more and more! Never before had I experienced so much fun with romping around with a child, not even with my own daughters. I really hoped that 'See Pee Es' would allow me to keep my happy little soul mate for a very long time! I would certainly do everything that I could to reach my goal, which hopefully also was my boy's goal. Was this what Jack had meant when his warm voice told me: 'spend everything you have on him, and you will be royally rewarded'?

Within two minutes, my boy returned into our bedroom, with a mischievous smirk on his happily beaming face. Immediately, he clambered back onto our wobbling waterbed, rose upright, and launched himself at me with a loud Indian yell. Fortunately, I caught him just in time, again lifted him high into the air, and threw him towards the other side of the bed. Quickly, he returned to me, trying to look mock angry but still showing me two brightly sparkling blue eyes in his proudly beaming face. Cheerfully, he jumped onto my chest, obviously planning to try to pin my arms again.

Then, he seemed to change his mind, because he suddenly slumped down and 'octopussed' himself onto me, by using all his little limbs to clamp down onto my chest. Happily, I folded my own arms around his heat-radiating little body and pulled him even closer against my stomach, again basking in our mutual love and togetherness. Again, I thought I heard my boy purr like a happy kitten, while now and then heaving deep sighs of utmost content. He really was a remarkable child!

For quite some time, my boy and I cuddled together, both of us loving each other very much and basking in our powerful mutual love. I really started to love my so special little friend more and more, and I hoped we would stay together for a very long time! At last, my boy's hungry stomach started to rumble, telling us loud and clear it was time to get up, go downstairs, and be fed! Chuckling, he wrestled free from my arms, sat upright on my chest, and stared deeply into my eyes with his beautiful bright blue orbs that again touched my soul.

Still chuckling, his deep baritone voice told me:

"As you can hear, my stomach feels hungry, and I've already promised to show you how to cook properly. Shall we go downstairs and make some healthy breakfast as a start?"

For a moment, I still doubted. Would this tiny boy really be able to make some healthy breakfast, without any help from me? Or, was he only bragging about his cooking skills, and perhaps trying to look more mature? Well, I supposed I would find out soon enough. I nodded my consent, and my boy dived off my chest and slid down onto the floor. Impatiently, he took my hand and started to drag me down the stairs and towards the kitchen.

Although I had planned to dress first, I decided it didn't really matter because we would be all alone in our house. Immediately after enjoying our 'healthy breakfast', we would return upstairs to take a quick shower and dress. Therefore, I just left my waterbed and followed my boy downstairs. Walking together, we frolicked down the stairs, on our way trying to bump into each other on purpose.

Still bumping into each other and having lots of fun, my little friend and I entered our kitchen, where I felt very happy to have some carpeting on the floor, because we were both barefooted! My naked little savage let go of my hand and started to look around critically. This time, he had a pensive look on his face, as if he tried to recall where everything had been while he lived here with Jack. After a moment of pondering, he went to my refrigerator, opened its door, and curiously peeked inside.

Soon, he shook his head and told me:

"Your fridge is bigger than Jack's, but it's nearly empty! Don't you have any more edible things to make a decent breakfast?"

"Well. Until yesterday, it was only me in the house, because I didn't know you were going to live with me. Therefore, I am afraid we will have to dress and go shopping first. Perhaps, there is still some leftover toast and butter around, and in the fridge should be another bottle of milk to brew hot chocolate, if you want to have a snack and a warm drink before we go shopping."

Fiercely shaking his head, my boy immediately retorted:

"Before we go shopping, I've already promised to show you how to make a healthy breakfast, so let's do that first! I saw a couple of eggs in your fridge, but do you happen to have any tomatoes?"

"Yes, I do have a few eggs and no, there are no tomatoes."

"Then, do you also have canned beans, or maybe potatoes?"

"Well, I’m not sure. Why don't you have a look for yourself?"

Involuntarily, I smiled, at seeing my naked little savage nearly disappearing into the refrigerator, with only his unclad little bum sticking out. After rummaging around, he showed up again; carrying the eggs, a small leek, two leftover onions, and a clove of garlic. He put everything onto the table, and asked me with a happy smile:

"Do you have some curry, or maybe some other spices?"

"Well, there are some spices in the cabinets over the sideboard."

Happily, my little cookie dragged a folding chair towards the sideboard, climbed onto it, and started to inspect the various cabinets, opening them one by one. Again, I smiled at the funny sight of my naked little savage, nearly disappearing into the cabinets with only his little bum sticking out. Now and then, he reappeared, carrying small tins of curry and black pepper, a container of salt, a loaf of bread, a halfway filled butter dish, and a nearly empty bottle of hot sauce.

After putting his gathered stuff onto the sideboard, he jumped down onto the floor without any help, picked the gathered things up, and neatly set them out onto our kitchen table.

Turning around to face me again, he asked me:

"Do you have some slippers?"

Suddenly feeling surprised, I couldn't help exclaiming:

"WHAT? I hope we aren't going to eat SLIPPERS for breakfast?"

For a split second, my little imp only stared at me, with a deep frown on his forehead as if he tried to translate my question. Then, he started to bellow with laughter, falling down and rolling around on the carpeted floor while slapping his knees from sudden fun!

After he recovered, his deep baritone voice chuckled:

"No, silly, I am not THAT hungry! I only want to collect some spicy plants from my own herbs garden, but the morning ground is still moist with dew."

Finally, I knew for sure that my boy had his own little garden full of abundantly flowering plants in my backyard! Still laughing at his funny antics, I collected my old slippers from the hallway closet and offered them to him. Showing me a broad smile, he put his small feet into my way too big slippers and tried to walk a couple of steps. Of course, he almost tripped over his own feet and promptly started to laugh again. Although he tried to show me a sour face; his built-in sun full of happiness easily won.

Shuffling towards the backdoor, he stopped just in time and asked:

"Please, can I have your keys? Our backdoor is still locked."

Chuckling at his funny antics, I responded:

"Well, you should know where you've put my keys after you locked the backdoor! My trousers are in my bedroom."

"Oh yeah, I forgot."

Clearly, I wasn't the only one who sometimes forgot things. I would remember that for a next time!

Not surprisingly, my little Shaman had already read my thoughts, because he started to chuckle before he kicked my too big slippers off and raced up the stairs. Within a few seconds, he returned with my keys and unlocked the backdoor. After leaving my keys on our kitchen table, he again stepped into my huge slippers. Walking carefully, so as not to stumble, he shuffled outside and into our backyard.

Hesitantly, I followed my naked savage towards the open door, suddenly being very aware of being clad only in my briefs. What would happen if one of my neighbors saw me like this, being almost naked? Or, even worse, if anybody saw my totally naked little savage who was still clad only in his 'birthday suit'? Wouldn't they be very suspicious about what we had been doing inside?

Surprisingly, my little soul mate seemed to be oblivious of the effect he might have on any nosy neighbors. He just shuffled towards 'his' little garden, squatted down, and started to gather some herbs. Obviously, this was HIS abundantly flowering property that he had marked out by several white cobblestones. Had he set it up alone, or had Jack helped him? I remembered I had seen it before, stumbling over its painted stones and wondering who could have put it here. Now, I saw that my boy had put his fallen cobblestones upright again. Had he been angry with me for damaging his little property?

Within two minutes, he returned, still walking careful while trying not to trip over my too big slippers. He now carried a couple of green leaves, some yellow flowers, a small carrot, and a tiny reddish pod.

Proudly, he showed them to me, while he explained:

"These spices are from my own herbs garden with all sorts of tasty plants in it. Jack and I laid it out a year ago after I returned from the hospital, with the help of my herbal learning book. Now, I will show you how to prepare a healthy breakfast out of almost nothing!"

Up to now, I had been convinced that this small boy would be way too young to be a 'real' chef. However, now that I had watched him gather his 'tasty herbs', I had to admit that I started to feel impressed. My little imp really seemed to know what he was doing!

While I closed our backdoor, my boy shucked my too big slippers and kicked them into a corner. Next, he dragged a folding chair towards the sink, placed his gathered herbs under the water tap, and washed them until they were spotlessly clean. He dried them with my kitchen towel, took them to our kitchen table, and put them next to all the other edible stuff he had gathered. Now, he started to open and close all my drawers, one by one, but couldn't find what he needed.

Looking at me with a questioning face, he asked me:

"Do you please have a sharp kitchen knife and a cutting board?"

Feeling very surprised about such a tiny boy asking for a sharp kitchen knife, I responded:

"Are you sure you know how to handle a sharp knife? When I was at your age, my parents would never ever allow me to handle such a dangerous thing without at least some very close supervision."

Looking at me with a suddenly indignant face, my boy responded:

"How come all the grownups I've cooked for always ask me those same questions? Why can’t you just trust my cooking skills? Perhaps, I am only a 'little cookie', but I know what I am doing!"

Heaven knows why, but I decided to trust my little soul mate. He told me he knew what he was doing and, so far, he had NOT disappointed me! Apart from that, he certainly acted as if he was sure about himself. Of course, my too analytical mind immediately started to doubt again. What would happen if my 'little cookie' accidentally sliced his own fingers instead of his herbs? Wouldn't everybody in our small village blame ME for his accident, by accusing me of not properly looking after such a small boy? I also didn't want to find any little boy meat in my 'healthy breakfast'. Had Jack allowed him to use such a kitchen knife before, or would this be his first time?

Still feeling uneasy, I went to our hallway and opened a couple of filled cardboard boxes, searching through them until I found my old wooden cutting board and my frequently used but still sharp kitchen knife. Hesitantly, I carried them to our kitchen table and put them next to my boy's herbs. Of course, I also decided to keep a very close eye on my little chef, in case something would go wrong with the knife. Where had I put my, fortunately still unused, first aid kit?

A second later, my chin almost dropped to the floor, while I stared at my busy little chef in utter amazement, and nearly gasped from his unexpected show. Never before had I seen such a small boy handle a sharp kitchen knife with such an amazing skill! Although he probably was putting on a show, he absolutely knew what he was doing!

First, he bundled his herbs with his fingers and adeptly chopped them into pieces at an astonishing speed. Then, he used the blade of my kitchen knife to scoop his pieces into a cup. Working at lightning speed, he frittered the onions, sliced part of the leek, and diced the carrot and the small pod. Skillfully, he peeled the clove of garlic and smashed it, by using his fists to punch the blade of the knife.

Finally, he scooped everything into his cup, and added some salt, pepper, curry, hot sauce, and a little bit of milk. After mixing his ingredients together, he tasted his greenish mixture. He shook his head, and added a little bit more salt and some more curry. Again, he tasted his mixture, and smiled.

Without looking up and still mixing some more, he asked me:

"Could you please take a pan, put some butter in it, and heat it?"

Doing as I was told, I put a frying pan on my electric cook top and carefully added two spoonfuls of butter, suddenly feeling proud to be the kitchen help of such an extremely skilled little chef. What a truly amazing child was he! I was now sure that this tiny boy would be able to teach me quite a lot about cooking. Would I ever be able to equal his amazing skills? That would be highly unlikely.

In the meantime, my little chef had dumped the used cutting board and the knife into the sink. Now, he took a spatula from a drawer, dragged one of the folding chairs towards my electric cook top, and climbed onto it. Looking in the already sizzling pan, he asked me:

"Could you please hand me the eggs, one at a time?"

Obediently, I took the eggs and handed them to my little cookie, one by one. Skillfully, he broke the eggs by tapping them against the rim of the pan, without crumbling the shells into his mixture and making a mess, as I certainly would have done. Next, I handed him his cup of nicely smelling herbs mixture.

He poured his mixture into the sputtering eggs, and started to scramble everything with the spatula. Quickly, I returned to the table, prepared some toast, and buttered the slices. In the meantime, a wonderful aroma started to fill our kitchen, caressing my nostrils and making my mouth water. This aromatic mixture smelled as if my little chef was preparing something very special! I really hoped it would taste just as good...

Finally, my little cookie hopped off his chair and asked me:

"Could you please take my hot pan and put it onto the table? My 'simple breakfast a la little Harry' is ready."

Again, I did as I was told. Feeling almost respectful, I took the steaming pan to our table and put it onto a fireproof tray. Next, I took two plates from a cupboard, some cutlery from a drawer, and neatly placed them in front of our folding chairs. Both my boy and I sat down and took some toast onto our plates. We scooped some of my boy's greenish looking scrambled eggs onto our toast, and brought the first nicely scenting pieces to our mouths.

Hesitantly, I took a bite... and felt as if I entered heaven! Never before had I tasted anything this delicious. This greenish 'breakfast a la Harry' tasted absolutely exquisite! My 'little cookie' turned out to be a truly excellent cook and an amazingly skilled chef; and he really had prepared our 'healthy breakfast' out of almost nothing!

Feeling very proud of my extremely skilled little chef, I told him:

"You are an amazingly excellent chef, and I am truly jealous of your outstanding cooking skills!"

Beaming with pride, my boy took the next piece of toast and some more greenish scrambled egg. Looking at me with sparkling eyes, he brought it to his mouth and took a bite. Of course, I couldn't drop behind. Trying to outdo each other, we started to devour our 'simple breakfast', savoring its exquisite taste until we were fighting for the last piece of toast and scraped the pan for the last crumbs. Then, my little chef opened his mouth and burped loudly!

Feeling shocked, I first thought about admonishing him for being naughty. Then, I decided to let it go, because I still knew next to nothing about his background. Perhaps, as a Gypsy child, he was used to burping after every tasty meal? Feeling a little bit naughty myself, I joined my little imp and made my own burping noise.

My little soul mate looked at me with a big smile and proudly beaming eyes, as if he approved of what I did. Then, he burped again, followed by my own even louder second burp. It felt wonderful, as a grownup, to act as a naughty little boy and feel a bit mischievous.

Working together, we did the dishes. Then, I put the cutlery away into the drawers, while little Harry climbed onto the sideboard and put our spices away. Finally, we washed our hands in the sink and dried them, using the only kitchen towel I had been able to find. Unexpectedly, my boy jumped up at me and trustingly let me catch his small frame in midair. He hooked his arms around my neck and offered me a couple of kisses directly onto my mouth.

Well, I certainly didn't complain, while I sat down on a folding chair and took my proudly beaming boy onto my lap. Strangely, I had already forgotten I was clad in only my briefs and that my boy was still totally naked. I had never thought I would get used to being a 'naturist' this fast; and my little soul mate even seemed to be a 'natural naturist'. Could his deceased Gypsy parents have allowed him to walk around like this in their caravan, or were all Gypsy children used to walk around clad only in their 'birthday suits'? My so special little Gypsy friend seemed to be totally uninhibited being naked, obviously without having any 'bodily shame' at all!

After some more cuddling, I thought now would be a good time to ask my little namesake a few questions. Ultimately, I still didn't know anything about him or about his mysterious past. I only knew he was of Gypsy origin, was around eight years old, and had survived a caravan fire two years ago. Where did he come from, and why had his parents and he arrived in this small village? Had one of his deceased parents been of non-Gypsy origin, having blue eyes and blond hair? What could have caused the caravan fire that had flared up in the middle of the night and nearly burnt him to death? Maybe, it would be better to ask my boy an easy question first, to boost his ego...

After again kissing the top of my boy's small head, I asked him:

"How come you are such a skilled cook, at such a young age?"

Surprisingly, my boy's happy face saddened considerably, while his small shoulders slumped down. Staring down at his dangling feet, he hesitated. Could I have asked him a too difficult question, in my eagerness to hear a few facts about his mysterious past? Then, my boy responded, with a sad sounding little baritone voice:

"Sorry, sir, but I don't know where my skills come from! I seem to have many special 'gifts', but I can't remember why that is, because the caravan fire burnt away all my memories from my past. My doctor thinks that my brain tried to shut down my pain; but, at the same time, the stupid thing also shut down my memories! During the first days after the fire, I couldn't even remember my own name or date of birth. Now, slowly, a few memories are coming back..."

My boy wiped a few stray tears from his face, before he went on:

"Since a few months, some memories from my Gypsy past are coming back, for example huge mountains with glowing tops, and we are living in a circle of caravans around a campfire. During summer, we always went into our surrounding woods to catch small animals and roast them over our campfire. I am sure I always collected tasty herbs to spice our roasting animals, because my friends sometimes called me 'little cookie', next to 'little Prince' or 'black and white'. Only, I still can't remember why my friends called me those strange nicknames. Perhaps, I'm only remembering some beautiful dream..."

My still sad looking boy fell silent, again wiped some tears away, and again stared at his slowly dangling feet.

As a trained psychotherapist, I was now sure that my boy suffered from 'post-traumatic hysteric amnesia', probably caused by excessive pain from his burns! Fortunately, I was also sure that, over time, all his memories from his past would return. He only had to wait until an unexpected emotion triggered them, so that they woke up and showed up again from his 'unconscious mind'.

After a moment of silence, my brave little soldier went on:

"Around a year ago, while I was in a hospital for my umpteenth skin operation, I felt bored and asked Jack about using herbs and spices. The next day, Jack brought me an herbal learning book, and I immediately recognized several plants from their colored pictures. I also knew how they taste and how I can use them to spice our food, but I don't remember where my knowledge comes from. After I returned home, Jack took me to a huge plant nursery, where we bought many spicy plants, cuttings, and seeds. Together, we set up my little herbs garden in our backyard, and I started to experiment. Now and then, my experiments tasted yucky, and we had to throw them away and start over again. Fortunately, now, my spiced food always tastes great, like today."

Again, my little soul mate fell silent, probably because he thought of his two months ago suddenly deceased Big Friend, Jack. Patiently, I waited, until my boy would be ready to tell me some more about what he could remember from his early youth. I also still wanted to know a lot more about his mysterious 'gifts' as a little Shaman!

13. The too difficult thermostatic shower tap.

Suddenly, my little soul mate looked up with a beaming face and sparkling eyes; as if he had heard or felt something he didn't expect. Was my little Shaman now demonstrating one of his mysterious 'gifts'; although he still couldn't remember where they came from?

With an enthusiastic baritone voice, he exclaimed:

"Here comes John!"

Adeptly, he freed himself from my enveloping arms, slid down onto the floor, and raced to our front door at full speed, leaving me very surprised. Had my boy really sensed John's energy in advance, perhaps because John was planning to visit us this early in the morning? But, then, my boy had to be sort of a 'clairvoyant' as well, next to being an 'upcoming Shaman', a 'psychic medium', and a 'mind reader'! Had this so extremely special child any MORE surprises in store?

Less than ten seconds after my little Shaman sensed John's energy, our doorbell rang, its too loud sound harshly reverberating through the hallway. At that same moment, I heard my little savage unlock our front door and open it. Much to my surprise, I really heard John's happy voice, enthusiastically greeting his little brother while entering our hallway. This was becoming eerie!

For a split second, I felt happy to see my young friend again. Then, it suddenly dawned on me that I was still almost naked, wearing only briefs! What if John entered my kitchen and saw me in such an 'indecent' state? What would my young friend think of me if he saw me like this, clad in nearly nothing? Wouldn't he feel shocked and immediately run home to tell his parents about my 'improper behavior'? I had to hurry upstairs and dress immediately! Only, would I be able to race upstairs and quickly put on some clothes, before John's eyes caught my nudity and he fled home to inform his parents?

Unfortunately, I didn't have enough time left to run through my hallway without being seen by John. Obviously, I was trapped in my kitchen and could only hope for the best. What else could I do? Trying to think fast, I quickly positioned myself at the back of our kitchen table, where I tried to hide my white briefs behind one of the folding chairs. Then, I waited.

Within a few seconds, two excitedly chatting boys tumbled into my kitchen, with their arms around each other and obviously feeling very happy to be reunited. Inside my kitchen, John first looked around and sniffed the air approvingly. Then, he embraced his little brother with pride in his eyes, while he stated:

"It smells wonderful here, and I bet you've cooked one of your famous breakfasts. Didn't you leave anything for me?"

Now, John acknowledged my presence, by smiling broadly and looking genuinely happy to see me. Enthusiastically, he rounded the kitchen table and came up to me. He put his arms around my unclad waist and happily offered me a fierce bear hug.

Amazingly, my young friend didn't look surprised at all, as if my being clad in only briefs or seeing his little brother totally naked were quite normal to him. For a couple of seconds, he cuddled up against my unclad chest and stomach, before he told me:

"Good morning, sir, and I am sorry for being this early. My little brother is a brilliant cook, isn't he? I bet that, one day, he will be a famous chef and have his own restaurant!"

Then, he left me and trotted back to his little brother, while pointing to the stairs in our hallway:

"Come on, let's hit the shower and have fun. Will you please join us and wash our hair, sir?"

John draped his arms around his little brother and pulled him in front of his chest. My boy melted into his big brother, and two pairs of beaming eyes expectantly looked at me...

Only, I couldn't understand why John didn't seem to be startled at all, at seeing his little brother totally naked and me clad in only briefs, almost as if he was already used to seeing us like this. Still feeling dumbstruck, I could only stare back at both boys. They really wanted me to join them in their shower, to wash their hair? Why would my young friends want an 'ancient grandpa' like me to join them and probably spoil their boyish fun? Or, could they be teasing me? Wasn't it enough for them to see me in this indecent state, being clad in nearly nothing and feeling utterly ashamed?

I looked again at John's beaming face, and saw that he really meant it. My young friend didn't tease me, but really wanted me to join them in their shower and have fun together!

What should I do now, still desperately trying to hide my almost-nakedness behind a folding chair? Why had I listened to my little soul mate, instead of ignoring his 'hungry stomach' and dress properly first? Besides, what would happen if John told his parents he had seen me like this? Certainly, Eric would forbid his children to visit this 'dirty old man' ever again! Apart from that, what would happen if I really joined my boys in their shower, to wash their hair? Our so extremely prude society would undoubtedly see this as being very 'improper behavior'! Officially, these kids were not related to me in any way, and nobody had asked me to help them or to wash their hair. From the newspapers, I knew how our society tends to react to a grownup sharing his shower with two unrelated children. Everybody would see my behavior as 'seducing two innocent victims', even when both boys wanted it themselves and asked me for it.

Feeling more and more uneasy, I started to protest:

"Sorry, boys, but I don't think that is a good idea. I shouldn't..."

However, my little soul mate had already left John and stepped towards me. Impatiently, he interrupted me:

"Please, don't spoil our fun! Come on, let's go upstairs."

Determinedly, he took my hand and started to drag me towards the door, in the meantime informing John:

"He is still a bit shy, because his parents taught him the same bullshit Eric tried to teach you, about feeling ashamed of your own body. He still has to learn that all boys and men have the same equipment. Could you please take his other hand and help me?"

John started to chuckle, while he went to my other side and took my other hand. Working together, both boys tried to drag me out of my kitchen and towards the stairs.

Only, what should I do now? Feeling rather overwhelmed by their unexpected pushing, I had already started to follow them into my hallway. Would both boys really try to force me to join them in their shower and wash their hair? Suddenly chuckling inwardly, I decided to let them have their innocent fun! Of course, I would be strong enough to escape their pushing, in case they would go too far. And, I was curious about how far they dared go. Therefore, I just let them drag me into our hallway and towards the stairs.

In front of the stairs, my youngest imp halted and asked me:

"Can you walk on your own, or shall we carry you upstairs?"

Well, despite my boys' pushing, I really had to go upstairs to put on my clothes and feel decent again! Feeling like a lamb heading for the slaughter, I started to drag myself up the stairs, while I was very aware of two young boys following me and looking up at my bare legs and scarcely hidden bum. Involuntarily, my face started to feel hot with shame, while I gritted my teeth and kept on climbing up the stairs as if this were my daily habit.

Why was this so difficult for me? Why did I feel so extremely uneasy, now that both boys could see certain unclad parts of my body? Obviously, they didn't have any problems with being naked or almost naked, so why did I? Was my too strict and puritanical upbringing hindering me this much? Or, was it due to what our Big Brother society keeps telling us, about being 'indecent' in front of 'innocent children'? Was I now 'damaging' both 'victims' for the remainder of their lives, as our society tries to make us believe in all its wisdom?

As a trained psychotherapist, I knew that our society told us nonsense, without any proof at all to evidence their words. At the same time, I was sure that nobody would listen to my excuses. To them, I probably had already transformed into one of those 'child molesters' that should be locked away forever. Still feeling ashamed, I continued to drag myself upstairs, while desperately trying to will down my blushing. Of course, I had to pull myself together before both boys could drag me into their shower and force me to wash their hair.

When I finally reached the hallway, I immediately trotted to my own bedroom, where I quickly snatched my clothes from my chair. Slumping down onto a corner of my wobbly waterbed, I started to put my trousers on in a hurry. However, suddenly feeling dizzy, I fell silent, while my clothes slipped to the floor. My entire inside seemed to be in heavy turmoil, and I couldn't think straight any more. All these new happenings had been too much for my 'old' brain.

In my own youth, my parents always told my little brother and me to dress first before walking around in our house. Even as little babies, they always forced us to feel ashamed of certain parts of our bodies. They never again saw us naked once we were big enough to wash ourselves. Both my little brother and I had never seen our parents naked, not even partially. The first time I saw somebody else naked, besides my own brother, was in a barn behind my school, playing 'doctor' with a friend. Afterwards, I had been afraid of getting AIDS, as sort of punishment for touching each other's 'private parts'.

Later on, as a psychotherapist, I had to deal with many 'abused' or 'molested' children. Unfortunately, some of them had really been abused, being severely traumatized because of the terrible things they had been forced to endure. However, just like I did with my friend, lots of children had only been 'playing doctor' with each other's 'private parts', in mutual consent, willingly, and having lots of fun. Until a prudish grownup found out, punished them, and forced them to feel ashamed of all the 'terrible things' they had done! Yes, these kids had been traumatized as well; but afterwards, because of the denouncing reactions of the condemning grownups and our over-prudish Big Brother society! Our society had cruelly victimized these innocent children, in the name of 'protecting' them.

During all those years, I had never seen any child traumatized, or even upset, by merely seeing or touching a naked grownup. All those children had been traumatized after what they 'did', by the extravagant reactions of their prudish and shameful educators. Afterwards, after being traumatized; merely seeing some nudity could be a forceful trigger to their induced fears. Then, they were terribly afraid of having to undergo the same treatment for a second time.

Why didn't our society think first, before it forced innocent young children to feel guilty or ashamed? Why didn't they teach their children to always listen to their own hearts, instead of making them feel frightened by chasing after both 'real' and 'so-called' molesters? Our children are much more capable of distinguishing 'bad' from 'good' than we think, unless their inner feelings are poisoned by fear.

Parents should teach their children to always listen to their own feelings, instead of frightening them with 'good touch' and 'bad touch'. When it feels good, it IS good! Plus, you cannot get a better harvest by rooting out all the unwanted weeds. You will have to nurture the highly valuable vegetation until it prospers, and just forget about the weeds. They will always be there, but they are not important enough to harm the much more valuable corn! Unfortunately, the meddlesome and over-zealous 'weeders' are ruling our world.

"Sir? Uncle Harry? Aren't you feeling well?"

Slowly, I woke up from my sad train of thoughts, and shook my head a couple of times to get rid of them. Then, I looked up and stared into the concerned eyes of John and little Harry, both looking relieved when I finally reacted to them and tried to smile.

John put a warm hand onto my naked arm, while he asked me:

"Is it our fault? We were only teasing you..."

"No, John, none of this is your fault! My embarrassment is solely the fault of our over-prudish society, with its assumptions and harsh condemnations. Their incriminating 'big brother' mentality makes me feel frightened about the consequences of being almost naked where you can see me. If you ever tell this to anybody else, society would undoubtedly want to convict me, by accusing me of 'indecent behavior' in front of minors, even when you don't seem to mind."

"Yes, sir, I know you are right, because Jack and I have talked about those stupid 'nudity laws' many times. Only, both Harry and I already promised Jack that we will never ever blabber about anything private we are doing here, for example showering together and washing each other's hair. Both Harry and I know how to keep a secret, and I swear that you can trust us. Our lips are sealed!"

"Oh, I am quite sure that I can trust you. However, I am also afraid of what society can do to me, and I am NOT going to take any risk by joining you in your shower and wash your hair! Now, go take your shower; and I will wait downstairs until you are done."

"But, Jack always joined us in our shower to wash our hair, and together we always had lots of fun! Why do you have to behave so prudish when there is no risk at all? You are no fun."

"Well, I am not Jack, and I am not sure whether Jack did the right thing. He could have been in a lot of trouble if anybody ever found out! Sorry, but this is too difficult for me. My own parents always raised me very old-fashioned, and even my own wife never joined her shower with our own daughters. Sorry, but I am NOT going to take any risk! You and Harry will have to shower first, and I will take my shower after you are finished. Just read what the newspapers tell us about people luring innocent children into doing improper things. I do NOT want to be on their next front page!"

For a couple more seconds, John and little Harry tried to argue with me. Then, they suddenly fell silent, while intently staring into each other's eyes. What were they doing? I had a strange feeling as if they were 'talking' to each other in their minds. This was becoming more and more eerie! I already knew that my little Shaman could be sort of a 'mind reader', but could John be one too?

Then, John asked me, with his most innocent voice:

"Then, could you please switch on the too difficult warm water tap for us? Jack cannot help us any more, and Harry and I still don't know how to handle that strange thing..."

Of course, I immediately started to doubt! Could such a clever boy as John be serious about not knowing how to handle a simple warm water tap? Or were they trying to lure me into something, with their too innocent faces? Stealthily, I looked from John to little Harry, but both boys seemed to be sincere and innocent.

Well, okay. Helping them switch on a too difficult warm water tap did sound innocent enough. Wanting to keep my trousers dry, I first put my clothes back onto my chair. Then, I followed both boys into my bathroom, planning to switch on their too difficult warm water tap and then immediately leave them alone and go downstairs.

Jack, the former owner of my house, had rebuilt a small spare room into a luxurious bathroom, with a generous shower enclosure and enough room left for a washing machine, an electric dryer, and a huge chest of drawers. Until now, I had washed myself only with cold water, because the defective light bulb didn't switch on in the dark.

Hesitantly, I followed both boys towards Jack's shower enclosure, where I stared in surprise at what had to be a warm water tap. Only, I had never seen such a strange thing before. It looked like a short silver pipe, having one knob at each end and a water connection in the middle. One of the knobs showed a few dots with temperature signs, and the other knob only had some strange arrow on it.

For several seconds, I didn't know what to do, as my confused brain felt strangely absent and a bit sleepy. Then, I stepped into the shower enclosure, to have a better look at the strange thing, while my little soul mate accompanied me and curiously looked at what I was doing. Looking back at his innocent face, I still couldn't understand how even such a clever little brainiac didn't know how to operate this strange looking warm water thing, although I too didn't recognize it. How would I ever be able to adjust this strange warm water tap that I had never seen before? Feeling more and more uneasy, I knelt down to have a better look at the strange thing...

In the meantime, John had quickly shucked his clothes. He threw them onto my chest of drawers, and joined his little brother who was already in the shower stall. Obviously, John too wasn't shy about being naked in my presence. Although both boys seemed to be waiting for me, they also furtively snickered and pushed each other. Could they be up to something?

Suddenly, some faint pressure left my head and the strange feeling of being absent went away. At that same moment, my suppressed memories returned into my mind. Immediately, I remembered what the 'too difficult' warm water tap was in reality! These little devils. They had just been too cunning. This was a modern thermostatic water tap, and they knew it! Even the smallest child would be able to handle this tap without any risk of being burnt. They had lured me into their shower stall on purpose!

Had really my little Shaman suppressed my memories, so that I didn't recognize this water tap? And, had they really planned their prank in advance, without using any words? But, then, they had been able to read each other's thoughts, or they had talked to each other in their minds! Groaning from sudden stiffness, I slowly rose from my kneeling position, planning to lecture both boys sternly about their naughtiness, although I admired their inventiveness.

However, at seeing their proudly beaming faces and sparkling eyes, I couldn't keep a straight face any more. Involuntarily, I started to chuckle at the funny sight. Both boys looked up at me with broad smiles from ear to ear, with their arms around each other's shoulders. It was clear that they knew exactly what they had done, and they felt very proud of their success!

John threw his arms around my unclad waist, while he snickered:

"Now that you have seen both of us naked, you don't have to be so shy anymore. Please, could you now join us and wash our hair, as Jack always did? Of course, you can keep your briefs on, to protect our innocent eyes from seeing your pride and joy."

At seeing their innocent but still proudly beaming faces, I couldn't help it. I started to bellow with laughter! Both boys had me exactly where they wanted me to be, with their clever pranks and John's playful use of words. Obviously, both 'innocent' boys were much cleverer than I ever anticipated!

My little soul mate turned on the 'too difficult' thermostatic water tap, effortlessly, before he stepped out of the way of the initial cold water stream. From a small distance, he laughed at John and me, who yelped at unexpectedly getting cold water on our bodies. Working together, John and I grabbed our struggling little imp and pulled him under the cold stream. Fortunately for him, the water had already warmed up, thus, this time, he escaped from our punishment.

Now, all three of us started to mock-wrestle and push each other; acting like little children trying to have the best place under the warm water stream. Within a second, I felt like a little boy myself, basking in my happy feelings of pure and innocent joy. Both boys immediately accepted me as being 'one of them', without any restrictions or considerations. Chuckling and laughing, we started to lather each other with lots of soap and shampoo. Soon, both boys tackled me to the floor and dived onto me, forming a pile of squirming wet bodies on top of my groaning 'old' frame. Until I wrestled free from their pile and pinned both boys down onto the slippery floor, threatening to tickle-torture them to death.

After having very much fun, we started to help each other with washing. First, we shampooed each other's hair, creating huge clouds of lather. Then, we washed each other from head to toe, giggling like three little children having the fun of their lives. We teased each other, group-cuddled with six arms around each other, and everything we did felt absolutely normal.

For the first time since little Joshie's death, I felt like a little boy, and I loved the experience! This morning, I finally understood what some new-age therapists intend, when they tell their clients to 'stop acting like a grownup' and to 'comfort their Inner Child'.

Perhaps, this was what the Bible intended with its wise advice:

'Unless you become like children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven.'

Never before had my own Inner Child enjoyed a shower so much. Could our zealous Big Brother society be wrong with its over-prudish assumptions about 'displaying indecent behavior' between bathing children and naked grownups? Could it be that the real, and sometimes absolutely needed, 'protection from nasty predators', had been overturned into 'throwing away the child with the dirty wash'?

Both as a human being and as an experienced psychotherapist, I was absolutely sure that both showering boys hadn't been harmed in any way! Unless our meddlesome Big Brother society would interfere and force my boys to feel ashamed of what I had 'done' to them...

After rinsing each other and having lots of fun, we decided to stop playing and get dressed. Before we left our shower stall, my happy looking little soul mate shut off the 'too difficult' thermostatic water tap, again without any problems. Next, we tried to dry each other, but we had to use the only towel I had been able to find so far. Soon, our towel was soaked, and we had to wring it out a couple of times to be able to use it some more, until at last we were more or less dry.

Without any remaining feelings of shame, I stripped my wet briefs off and threw them into the hamper. Then, I bent over towards my chest of drawers to get dry underwear, unafraid that my boys would look at my now unclad bum. Of course, I was right. They were not interested. Why should they be?

14. Having lots of fun; and John's catharsis.

After we left our shower stall, my two boys and I looked at each other and started to laugh at the funny sight:

"I think you look like a shriveled prune!"

"Oh yeah? Well, you look like a wrinkled pig."

"I think you look more like a drowned rat."

"Grrrrr... I will get you for that!"

Two squealing boys chased after each other towards my bedroom, on their way trying to tackle each other, followed by 'old' me at a much slower pace. Obviously, they had done this many times before, probably with Jack, because they didn't ask me but just opened the door and bolted inside. Inside my bedroom, my little soul mate threw himself onto our double waterbed and immediately scrambled upright. Jumping up and down as high as he could, with beaming eyes, he first tried to reach the ceiling over his head.

Then, his deep baritone voice shouted:

"Look, John, we have a WATERBED, and this bed can easily carry two elephants without leaking!"

Of course, John too threw himself onto the wobbling waterbed, next to his jumping little brother, and tried to tackle him. Immediately, my boy attacked John back, by jumping onto his chest and trying to pin him down. However, John was too strong for him and easily threw him towards the other side of the bed. Within a second, little Harry was back and again attacked John. Now, both boys started to jump up and down, trying to touch the ceiling over their heads. Again, they had lots of fun, enthusiastically cheering while playfully trying to push each other off the wobbling bed. Now and then, one of them fell down, but immediately clambered up again. In the meantime, I slumped down onto a chair, to watch their playful antics. Now and then, I chuckled at the funny sight of my two naked savages who were trying to outdo each other. Fortunately, most of my qualms about being naked had disappeared. My boys weren't shy about being unclad, so why should I be? Only our society's crazy beliefs kept me from joining them.

At last, both boys slowed down. Panting and wheezing, they slumped down onto the wobbly bed. For a moment, they just laid there, staring at the ceiling. Then, John asked me:

"Sir? Aren't you tired too? Please, come over and join us!"

Well, my old body really felt tired after living through so much fun in our shower! Therefore, I rose from my chair, ambled to my waterbed, and just slumped down next to my young friends. Immediately, both boys crawled onto my stomach, while playfully competing for the best place. Obviously, they had done this many times before, probably with Jack. Basking in my happy feelings of loving my young friends very much, I wrapped my arms around them and held them close to my chest. Again, I felt very blessed to be the Big Friend of both my little soul mate and my thirteen-year-old special friend. I already loved both boys with all my heart, and nothing would ever be able to change that, not even our meddlesome society!

My little soul mate seemed to pick up my thoughts, because he lifted his head and stared deeply into my eyes. Then, he offered me a quick kiss directly on my mouth, while looking at me with very much love and pride in his beautiful bright blue eyes. John followed suit by kissing me more forceful, while looking at me with lots of love and happiness in his deep brown orbs. Both boys tried to melt into my enveloping aura as deeply as they could, while heaving happy sighs of contentment. At this wonderful moment, I felt totally at peace with my boys and with myself. My inside was sure we would be close friends for the remainder of our lives, and that nothing would ever be able to separate us from each other, not even our mistrustful society! Never before had I felt this happy and content, while I closed my eyes and gently drifted off into a deep and peaceful slumber.

Suddenly, I woke up, still having both softly snoring boys in my arms and feeling full of love. A bright unearthly light had started to shine around us, seemingly coming from everywhere, while I was aware of an extremely powerful wave of Cosmic Love that engulfed both my boys and me. Of course, I immediately recognized the unearthly light! Was our 'spirit guide', Jack, trying to contact me? I looked up and indeed saw Jack, looking at my sleeping boys and me with a broad smile full of Pure Love on his beaming face. While gently touching my shoulder, our smiling Spirit Guide told me:

"My dear brother, thank you very much for having so much fun! We, your Spirit Guides and Ancestors, have enjoyed the antics of your boys and your genuine happiness very much. Fortunately, you again did the right things; and, because of that, all of you are now entering an accelerated process of learning. Soon, your son will come out of his shell and leave his fears behind. He will also start to remember his early youth, so we politely ask you to help him and guide his therapeutic progress. Our young friend will again be a loyal helper to both your son and you, with his enormous heart full of love. Soon, you will be asked to take him into your house for some time, so be prepared. Now, I will leave you alone, so that you can wake up from your induced trance. May our Supreme Being be with you and bless you, your son, our young friend, and everybody else who soon will join your steadily growing family."

Both Jack and the unearthly light already started to fade away. Only, I didn't want to wake up! This 'induced trance' felt so good, so full of love and peace, that I wanted to bask in it for a much longer time! Besides, would Jack allow me to ask him a question? Or, would my Spirit Guide just fade away and disappear, as he had done before.

Hesitantly, while trying to stay in my induced trance, I asked:

"Please, Jack, may I ask you a question before you leave me?"

"Look," Jack answered, obviously anticipating my request.

Before he disappeared completely, Jack showed me a 'vision' of my little soul mate, situated in his possible future. In my vision, my boy was a little bit older, but I nearly didn't recognize him, because his burnt face had totally changed! He now had a smooth looking face, a funny pug nose, a nice mouth with normal lips, and his ears were free from his head. His chest and belly showed only a few faintly visible scars, his hips and legs had only a few colored marks, and he had a normal looking little pecker. Was I seeing a future vision of my cured little soul mate, perhaps after he underwent some newly developed 'cultivated skin transplant' that I had heard about? If so, I would really be able to help my terribly burnt boy, by spending my money on his undoubtedly very expensive surgery! Therefore, I felt more than elated and nearly started to cry from sheer happiness.

Again, Jack's warm voice sounded in my inside, telling me:

"This is what you will be able to do for your son in your future, but don't be too impatient. Please wait until the right moment shows up, and your own heart will tell you when and where that will be."

Jack's unearthly light disappeared, while I tumbled down onto my bed with a slight thud, waking up with tears in my eyes and a wonderful feeling! Jack had again said 'your son'; and, again, I nearly cried from happiness. I so wished Jack could be right and that I really would be able to adopt my boy. Now, I also understood what Jack's intention had been when he told me to 'spend everything you have on him'. Yes, Jack could count on me! I would be there for my boy whenever he needed me! I would love to spend all my money on getting new skin on my boy's burnt face and body! Besides, I didn't need to be 'royally rewarded' for spending my money on my boy. Seeing my little soul mate happy would be all the reward I needed!

After I opened my eyes, I remembered my 'induced trance' and still felt on cloud nine. Yes! I would really be able to help my boy get new skin on his so badly burnt body and face! I would happily spend everything I had on him. Then, my two boys on my stomach started to stir. Lazily, they opened their eyes and squinted at me. Little Harry woke up first, looking at me with very much love and pride in his bright blue eyes. Then, John woke up too, looking at me with lots of love and happiness on his beaming face.

Chuckling at seeing my sleepy face, my little soul mate teased me:

"I think you fell asleep because you are an old sleepyhead!"

"Then, you are our baby sleepyhead!" John teased little Harry.

"That makes you our teenaged sleepyhead, because you fell asleep too!" I teased John.

"Yeah, you are right, and I felt marvelous! While I was asleep, I had a beautiful dream about living here forever, having you as my adopted Dad and Harry as my younger brother..."

For several seconds, I marveled at the happy idea of being the 'adopted' father of these two fine young men. Then, my analytical mind started to think. Of course, I wanted to adopt little Harry, but what about John? John still had his own father, and I was sure that Eric would never release one of his own children to me. Besides, wouldn't I be way too old to raise two growing young boys properly, without having a competent woman in the house? Society would never allow me to keep them. Well, dreaming about adopting both boys and raising them all on my own wouldn't do any harm to anybody, so I closed my eyes and happily dreamed away some more.

At last, both boys on my stomach started to fidget and impatiently woke me up. Obviously, I had fallen asleep again, without realizing what I did. Therefore, I really was an 'old sleepyhead'.

After I reopened my eyes, my little soul mate told us:

"Jack is still here, and he tells me that John really is going to live with us for some time!"

At hearing my boy's announcement, John quickly rolled off my chest and sat upright, while staring at his little brother in obvious surprise. Slowly, he got tears in his eyes, probably thinking of his beautiful dream about living here forever, having me as his adopted Dad and little Harry as his younger brother.

Desperately trying not to cry, John sighed:

"I hope that Jack is right, because my father drives me crazy! He always complains about everything I do, and nothing I do is ever good enough. Yesterday, he started to yell at my Mom, and she threatened him with a divorce. This morning, my Mom had tears in her eyes, and my father seemed to have left our house. Now, I hope he doesn't come back for a long time, because we are better off without him. I think my father hates me because I don't look like him; and he always only picks on me and never on Mark or on Marrie."

Suddenly, John started to cry his heart out. Obviously feeling desperate, he slumped down onto our waterbed, where he curled up into a tight ball and tried to muffle his heavy sobs. Within a second, my little soul mate left my chest and crawled towards his big brother. Tenderly putting his small arms around John's heavily sobbing chest, he first pulled his big brother into a fierce hug.

Then. I heard my wise little therapist whisper into John's ear:

"Let it go, John, and don't bottle it up! In a few minutes, you will feel a lot better."

John seemed to listen to his little brother, because he now started to cry even more! Trying to comfort my sobbing young friend, I put my arms around him from the other side, while my little soul mate continued to whisper soothing words into his ear. Now, John started to cry almost uncontrollably! By reading his aura, I sensed he tried to release his built-up aggression towards his father who always talked down on him. He also tried to let go of all the hurtful reprimands that he had to endure with that hateful man. Despite his cheerful character, my young friend didn't have an easy life.

Still holding John very close, both my little soul mate and I started to send him all the love that we were able to muster. In the meantime, I tried to help my young friend get rid of his desperation, by pulling as much negativity out of his protective aura as I could reach. Next, I sent it as a small river of dirt towards Mother Earth, who would assimilate it and clean it up. I only had to be careful not to pull John's sadness or negativity into my own aura.

For quite some time, John continued to cry, while I continued to clean his aura. Slowly, John's negativity started to diminish, while it streamed towards Mother Earth as a small river of dirt. Again, I was very happy I had once participated in a so-called 'aura workshop', which taught me how to work with 'life energies'. Since then, I had used 'aura healing' many times, to help my depressed or angry clients get rid of their excessive negativity.

Suddenly, I felt extremely surprised and almost couldn't believe my observations! Next to my 'own' small river of dirt, I clearly sensed a second river, looking a lot bigger, streaming directly from my little soul mate towards Mother Earth! How the heck did my little Shaman do that? I had been studying 'aura reading and healing' for many years, to learn only the basics. Then, I had trained myself thoroughly for several more years, to master the process and be able to use it adequately. Now, my eight-year-old little soul mate already seemed to master the art entirely, and he did it much better than I ever could hope to do. Wow. He really was a remarkable little Shaman!

As if he sensed my sudden surprise, my little soul mate looked at me and stared deeply into my eyes. Was he again probing my mind and trying to read my thoughts? The little devil... While ignoring my boy's probing energy, I continued to help my sobbing young friend get rid of his remaining negativity, by pulling it out of his aura and letting it stream towards Mother Earth. Suddenly, I heard a faint baritone voice in my inside, telling me:

"Let's do it together. You clean his head and I work on his belly."

For a few seconds, I felt too surprised to react and nearly gasped from confusion. This time, I couldn't deny it any longer. My little Shaman really talked to me in my inside, just like Jack always did! Was this how my boy had 'talked' to John about the too difficult warm water tap, without using his normal voice? This was becoming more and more eerie. Now, my powerful little Shaman seemed to know exactly what he was doing, and he wanted me to help him!

Fortunately, I understood what he meant. In John's 'head' were his doubts and his feelings of being worthless; while in his 'belly' were his negative emotions. Feeling respectful and almost in awe, I just did as my little Shaman had told me to do. I concentrated on John's doubts, while my boy continued to clean his emotional system. Obviously, HE was the boss here, already mastering the art of 'aura healing' much better than I ever hoped to do.

Working closely together, I freed John from his negative thoughts, while my little Shaman cleaned his cramped control system. Soon, our two rivers of dirt were flowing into one, effectively pulling the darkness and negativity out of our mutual friend. Within a few seconds, John suddenly perked up and pulled himself together, now that he no longer felt like a worthless victim. He even started to smile through his already diminishing sobs.

Again, my little Shaman and I stared at each other, this time smiling in satisfaction. Again, I could feel the unbreakable connection between my boy and me. From now on, working together like this, our immensely strong bond would be absolutely invincible!

Slowly, John's sobs diminished, until they finally faded away. Obviously feeling relieved and again full of hope, John looked at me and showed me a big smile on his still teary face. Trying to help him, I reached for my package of tissues on my nightstand and offered a couple of tissues to John. At that moment, my little soul mate looked at me as if he felt disappointed. He took the tissues out of my hand, turned towards John, and gently wiped his big brother's reddish eyes and puffy face. Next, he helped John blow his nose.

Ouch! Why hadn't I thought of helping my recovering young friend, instead of offering him only a couple of tissues? Now and then, I still acted too insensitive, as if living too much in my own private world. Fortunately, my little soul mate was a lot more soulful; and, again, he had taught me a valuable lesson. I clearly had to be a lot more receptive to the needs of others, and I had to start right now!

Boys will be boys. Soon after John pulled himself together, he again started to joke. First, he sat upright and quickly gathered our used tissues. While crumpling them together, he slid down from our bed, obviously to take them downstairs and throw them away.

Before John went downstairs, he teased his little brother:

"Thank you very much for your help; and I think about hiring you as my personal eye-dryer."

With a smug face, my clever little soul mate responded:

"Then, I will send you my bill, and I am not cheap! Now, come on, crybaby, we have to move my stuff back to my old room."

First, my boy turned towards me and draped himself all over my chest and belly for a quick cuddle. Again, he made me think of an affectionate little octopus, draping its limbs all over me. Happily, I folded my arms around his tiny frame and held him close to my chest, while automatically tracing his scars and stripes of wild flesh with my fingers. Again, I thought I heard my boy purr like some happy little kitten. Fortunately, he had already forgotten about my obvious lack of consideration with his big brother.

15. Looking for a toyshop and Peter's studio.

After our cuddle, my little soul mate quickly rolled off my chest and adeptly slid off our bed and onto the floor. Although I still wanted to ask him lots of questions about his truly amazing Shaman skills, I decided to wait for later. Probably, we would be able to talk a bit freer after John went home and we would be alone. Then, I wanted to know everything about my little Shaman and his 'special 'gifts'!

In the meantime, John went to our bathroom, to throw the tissues away and wash his tear-stained face. While waiting for John, my boy helped me make our disordered waterbed a bit more presentable. Soon, John returned, and we quickly donned our clothes and hurried downstairs, to begin our day. Of course, both boys went straight into our kitchen, where John opened our refrigerator and peeked into it. With a slightly disappointed face, my young friend groaned:

"Your fridge is nearly empty; but I feel hungry..."

Feeling surprised about John already feeling hungry, I responded:

"You didn't eat enough at home? Harry and I had breakfast barely two hours ago!"

"Yes, but Harry and I are growing boys. That means we have to eat lots of food, to grow as strong and be as well-built as you are."

"Hmm. Flattery gets you everywhere. Only, we will have to go shopping first, because Harry and I ate everything we had in stock."

"Then, let's go downtown and raid a supermarket! And, please, don't forget your keys or your wallet, as Jack always did."

Smiling back at my young friend, I answered:

"Then, let's go! John, do you know a nearby supermarket?"

"Yes, of course! Jack always went to a supermarket in a nearby town, where they sell everything for us growing boys."

Then, John turned towards his silently waiting little brother, and asked him with a lot of concern in his voice:

"You will join us again, just like you did the last time with Jack?"

For several second, my little soul mate only looked back at his big brother, with saddening eyes. Then, he slowly shook his head. The light in his bright blue orbs went out, while he slumped down onto one of the folding chairs and his little head bent towards his knees. Nervously plucking at his clothes, he mumbled, barely audibly:

"You better go without me, as everybody will ridicule me again."

Looking understandingly, John sat down next to his little brother, pulled him onto his lap, and folded both arms around his small frame. Obviously, John loved his little brother very much, but he didn't know what to do to pull him out of his sudden depression.

Then, trying to cheer him up, John thought aloud:

"Do you remember the last time you joined us to that supermarket with Jack? You wore Thomas' funny teddy bear mask so that nobody saw your face. Everybody around us laughed and had fun, especially when you started to dance with that Chinese looking girl! At the end of your show, all the people applauded, and we each got a chocolate bar from the shop owner. Wasn't that lots of fun?"

"Yes, it WAS fun, until your father threw Thomas' mask and your chocolate bar away. Then, he grounded you for a week, for 'begging'! After Mom allowed you to leave the house and you showed up again, I shared my own chocolate bar with you."

"And my father knew I had borrowed that mask from Thomas, for crying out loud! But, we HAD fun, and I wish we could do it again. Let me think of something else to cover your face. Perhaps, we can create a robber's mask from an old scarf, by cutting two holes in it for your eyes? Then, the owner thinks we want to rob his shop, and he calls for his security staff or for the local police to arrest us."

While listening to John's encouraging words, I started to think. How would I be able to help my suddenly dispirited little soul mate out of his dilemma? Of course, he didn't want to show his so terribly burnt face to all the staring customers! Why hadn't I thought of this before? Again, I saw my lack of consideration for the needs of others.

Then, a useful thought popped up in my mind. Where had I left my still unused silk scarf that had been a birthday present from one of my daughters? Had I thrown it away, together with all the other unused things, because I thought I wouldn't need any more?

Suddenly, I started to feel angry with Eric. Why the heck had John's so-called 'father' thrown away Thomas' funny teddy bear mask, without thinking about what his boys could do with it? Didn't that man have a heart? Perhaps, I could buy my boy another teddy bear mask, or another scarf to create a robber's mask out of it, as John had proposed? Or, even better, where could I buy my boy a complete robber's outfit? An old TV show came to mind, of a man named Zorro. He always wore a black mask, and nobody ever recognized him.

Turning towards my sad looking little namesake, I asked him:

"Harry, what do you think about going to a toyshop first, to buy you a Zorro mask or perhaps a cap with a huge visor? Then, you could hide your burnt face under the mask or beneath the visor and enter the supermarket incognito, as a real superstar!"

For a second, my boy looked at me with a surprised face. Then, he picked up on the idea, because his bright blue eyes started to sparkle with happiness! A smile from ear to ear lit up his face, and he nodded enthusiastically. At that moment, John too nodded enthusiastically, while he pushed his little brother off his lap and dragged him towards the kitchen door. With their arms around each other's waists, they trotted to our hallway to don their shoes before they went outside.

Before they raced out the door, my boy chuckled:

"Don't forget your keys or your wallet, as Jack always did!"

Chuckling at seeing my boy's smug face, I first got my keys and my wallet from my desk in our living room. Then, I followed both boys outside, to go to 'our' supermarket but search for a toyshop first. My two boys were already racing towards our car, on their way playfully jostling each other to be there first. John seemed to have a lot of consideration for his little brother, because he let him win unnoticed by pretending to trip over some small branch.

"I WON!" little Harry shouted at the top of his lungs, while jumping high into the air in exaggerated triumph.

Fortunately, his sadness was gone and his bright blue eyes were sparkling again. After reaching our car, he tried to open my door, but had to wait for my keys. Smilingly, I threw my keys towards him. He caught them adeptly, and used them to open my side of our car first.

"Entrez monsieur, and after you." he told me in his best French.

After opening the other car doors, my boy and John dived onto the rear seats, where they neatly buckled up. My boy handed me my keys, I gunned the engine, and we drove off, to go 'raid' a toyshop and a supermarket. John thought he knew where we could find a toyshop, and started to direct me towards it. Now and then, little Harry recognized a street and helped John, by telling me where I had to go next. In the meantime, I scanned our stereo for some joyful music, and soon all three of us were humming along with a happy sounding tune.

Still wondering why John had showed up this early, I asked:

"John, do your parents know where you are?"

"Yes sir, because I've already told my Mom I would be with you and Harry. She wanted to go downtown to do some shopping with Mark and Marrie, but I told her I they had to go alone because, usually, they don't come back for hours. Nobody has any idea where my father is, and we all hope he will never come back! Thomas and Chrissy and a few other friends wanted to go downtown and perhaps see some movie, but I didn't want to join them. That is why I decided to wake you and Harry early, to shower together."

"You didn't seem to feel surprised to see your little brother totally naked and me nearly naked in our kitchen?"

"Duh! Harry hates clothes; and, whenever my father is away, he prefers to walk naked through our house for the whole day! When Jack was still alive, he often didn't bother about being dressed either. Many times, I saw them both walking around clad only in their 'birthday suits'. The first time I saw Jack naked, I felt a bit embarrassed; but, soon, I got used to it. Ultimately, all boys have the same equipment, so why should we feel ashamed about it? Harry always asked me to join him in the shower and help him wash his hair. One day, Jack joined us; and, from that day on, we always showered together. During the last two months, I've missed Jack a lot. Fortunately, now, we can shower with you! But, it is still a private thing, and we already promised each other to always keep our private things a secret from everybody else, to avoid any difficult questions. Nobody else will ever know about what we are doing when we are together."

After listening to the mature way both boys were handling this delicate question, I felt relieved! Fortunately, John had squelched all my remaining fears about my young friends unintentionally blabbering about walking around naked or showering together. Happily, I turned the stereo sound up some more, and we started to hum along with the nice sounding music. It felt marvelous to be friends and shop together, even when my friends were 'only' young kids. Never before had I seen such maturity and grownup behavior as from these two!

Following a dull advertisement, an extremely delightful song started to resonate from our car speakers. At that same moment, all three of us sat upright and looked at each other with huge smiles on our faces. Quickly, I turned the stereo sound up even more, and all three of us started to sing along with the catchy tune, rhythmically stamping our feet while singing loudly with the funny song. Howling at the tops of our lungs, we screeched, bellowed and baritoned:

"You are soooo beauuuutifuuuullll."

Shrieking with laughter and nearly hiccupping from fun, we tried to raise the roof of our old car that seemed to swing at the cadence of the catchy tune. Way too fast, our funny song ended, and the next dull advertisement took over. After we calmed down, John piloted us into a small town, where we soon saw an old and dilapidated toyshop in some tiny square. This early in the morning, the square was nearly empty, and the shop looked deserted. I parked our car in one of the empty spots, and we exited and stared at the closed front door.

My little soul mate looked pensive, as if he was lingering on some difficult decision, thinking it over and over. Suddenly, he straightened his back and switched on his powerful aura of Pure Aristocracy. Again, I thought this little Gypsy boy could easily be some young Prince who graciously addressed his beloved subjects! With a faint smile, my boy determinedly announced:

"I want to join you inside. Jack told me to always be proud of myself and listen to my own heart, so, toyshop, here I come!"

He turned around and headed straight for the toyshop door; while John and I looked at each other, seeing the sudden surprise in each other's eyes. This was not what we had expected. Obviously, our little friend had made a major decision about his remaining fears. Wow, what a courageous boy was he! Was this what Jack had told me during my 'induced trance', about my son coming out of his shell and leaving his fears behind? Smiling broadly, John and I trotted after our brave little soldier, trying to catch up with him. We reached him at the same moment when he pushed the shop door open and stepped inside, immediately followed by John and me.

"Ting," a hidden bell happily announced.

For about ten seconds, nothing happened. Then, from the back of the store, an elderly woman came waddling towards the front. She wore extremely thick glasses and obviously didn't see well.

For quite some time, the old woman only stared at us, as if she could be examining some strange species from another planet. Then, she waddled a little bit closer, while grunting something unintelligible. Suddenly, she shifted her glasses to the tip of her nose and stared at little Harry with a very surprised face.

"Oh, my dear. You poor little child!" she exclaimed, while she stepped towards my boy with her arms wide open.

She almost threw herself at my shocked looking boy, in her futile effort to embrace her 'poor little child'. However, my boy stared back at the woman with sudden panic in his eyes and swiftly stepped aside! The clumsy woman almost tripped over her own feet, after her target suddenly disappeared from her tunnel vision. For a moment, she had to hold onto one of the dusty shelves, to keep her balance. Then, she pushed her glasses back onto her nose and started looking for where her poor little prey went.

In the meantime, my assaulted 'poor little child' turned around and tumbled straight into my arms. From there, he glared back at his assaulter, trembling with sudden anger and indignation. While his bright blue eyes started to shoot burning daggers, his deep baritone voice blurted out:

"I am NOT your poor little child! Do you do this with all your customers? Shame on you! Come on, Dad, let's leave this spooky toyshop. This is not the right place for us."

My still trembling boy freed himself from my arms, turned around, took my hand, and dragged me towards the door. Determinedly, he pulled me out of the toyshop, followed by John who desperately tried to suppress his laughing and snickering. Still trembling with anger, my boy glared back at the shop and muttered:

"Did you see that, Dad? That crazy woman ATTACKED me!"

Angrily, he stomped towards our car, where he impatiently waited until I unlocked its doors. Still muttering under his breath and looking angry, he dived inside and immediately buckled up. John and I followed him inside, still chuckling about such a strange woman in her spooky toyshop. What a crazy adventure had this been!

We drove off and left the square, leaving a confused woman, staring at us from behind her dusty shop windows. Feeling a little bit disappointed, I started to drive around aimlessly. Where should we go now? Would there be another toyshop in this small town, where we could buy a cap with a huge visor for my boy?

Over my shoulder, I looked at John, to ask him for advice...

Only, John had already started looking around, craning his neck while studying the various bystreets. He stared into every small alley we passed, as if he searched for something but wasn't sure. After some more searching, John hesitantly explained:

"Someplace around here, I once saw a small studio that makes rubber masks and other useful things for actors. Only, I don't know any more where it is. For as far as I can remember, it was only a tiny shop, halfway down a small alley."

At that same moment, my little soul mate sat upright while looking confused, as if he had heard or sensed something unexpected but didn't know what to think of it. For a second, he closed his eyes and seemed to listen to some unseen person. Then, while shaking his head as if trying to wake up from some trance, he told me:

"Jack is here, and he asks us to turn around, go back, and enter the second street to the left."

Had really Jack contacted his little friend, here in our car, and asked him to tell us where we had to go? Refusing to let my too analytical mind start doubting again, I decided to trust my little Shaman and his special 'abilities'. Therefore, I quickly turned around, drove back, and entered the second street to the left.

Much to our surprise, we immediately saw a tiny studio that was situated halfway down the small alley! Written in ancient characters, a small signboard told us:

'Peter's Shop for Make-Up and Masks for Actors'

Feeling happy again, I parked our car along the sidewalk, and we exited and looked around curiously, planning to have a closer look at the tiny studio first. The shop had only one window, so we first crowded together to take a quick look inside. All the lights were on, and everything inside the shop looked cozy and welcoming. Without using any words, we just stepped towards its small front door.

This time, my proud little Prince acted a lot more hesitant! Carefully, he stepped back against my stomach and worked himself into my safe embrace, by closing my arms around his tiny frame. Obviously, my boy didn't want to take any risk of being 'attacked' again.

Gently, I pulled him against my stomach and held him close, to give him some more confidence. Walking together, we followed John who already opened the door, and stepped inside.

16. Harry gets a mask to hide his burnt face.

"Good morning, gentlemen," a pleasant voice greeted us.

A young man with a friendly face showed up from the back of the store and walked towards us. After drying his hands with a towel, he threw it onto a chest of drawers without looking where it went. Invitingly, he pointed to a couple of chairs and told us:

"It's nice of you to visit my humble studio. Please, have a seat."

Next, he turned towards my suddenly smiling boy, and told him with very much interest and warmth in his eyes:

"You are a little young to already be an actor, I suppose?"

Still smiling, my little soul mate freed himself from my arms and straightened his back. Determinedly, he stepped towards the shop owner, on the way switching on his aura of Aristocracy. Again, I thought he could easily be a little Prince, greeting a beloved subject.

As if trying to be funny, my boy quipped:

"You can see for yourself that I don't need a mask, because I already have a beautiful one of my own!"

With sudden tears in his eyes, the shop owner responded:

"Yes, I can see, and may I tell you something important? It's not how you look, but who you are, that counts!"

"I already know, thank you, and it feels nice here."

"Thank you too, and may I offer you one or two suggestions? By the way, my name is Peter."

For the next hour, my little soul mate and Peter sat glued to each other at a small table, where my boy told Peter everything about the caravan fire and his many skin operations. Trustfully, he let Peter look at his colored scars and still growing wild flesh, even on his chest and legs. In the meantime, Peter asked him several questions, mainly about how his six-year-old face had looked before their caravan burnt down and only he survived.

After some time, Peter took a drawing block and a pencil, and adeptly drew a preliminary sketch of a boyish face, still listening intently while sketching more and more. Suddenly, little Harry grabbed the block and the pencil, and quickly scribbled a couple of corrections. Smilingly, Peter threw the faulty sketch away and immediately drew another one, silently inserting my boy's corrections.

Slowly, a nice sketch started to appear, showing the face of a six-year-old little boy with a cute pug nose, slightly stuffed cheeks, and nicely formed lips. Now and then, Peter asked John for advice, because John had seen his little brother's real face, two years ago before their caravan burnt down. Finally, after making even more corrections, both John and little Harry were content with Peter's sketched result.

With beaming eyes and a proud voice, my boy told Peter:

"Yes, this drawing really looks like the six-year-old me, as if I'm staring at myself from our mirror in our caravan! Only, this was my six-year-old face; but I am now a bit taller and two years older."

"Therefore, I will now let your face grow two years older. Look, here comes some drawing magic."

Adeptly, Peter started to change the outlines of his preliminary sketch, so that the boy on it really looked two years older. All the time, my little soul mate nearly pushed Peter off of his chair, in his tries to have an even better look at what Peter was doing. Again, my boy made a few remarks, and Peter smiled at him while he silently modified a couple more things.

At last, with a beaming face, my boy told his new friend:

"Yes, this is exactly how I would have looked without my burns and scars! Thanks a lot, Peter, for making such a beautiful drawing of the real me! Immediately when I stepped inside this studio and saw you, I knew you would be the right person to help me!"

Looking proud, my little soul mate took the sketch out of Peter's hands and showed it to us. Both John and I were truly amazed and nearly fell off our chairs at seeing what Peter had sketched! For the first time, I was able to see how my little soul mate would have looked in reality, without his burns. Suddenly feeling emotional, I almost choked up, while I hastily took my handkerchief and wiped my tears away. Then, I offered my handkerchief to John, who also had tears in his deep brown eyes.

Peter knowingly smiled at us, while he told his little client:

"Now, I would like to create a soft rubber mask that looks exactly like your real face from our sketch. But, first, I will model another preliminary face, by using some skin-colored clay. After both you and your Dad are satisfied with our model, I will remove all the clay, and I would like to make a plastic mold from your burnt face, to be able to create a soft rubber mask that sticks to your face and makes you look like the boy you would have been without your burns. Is that okay with your Dad and with you; and shall we start immediately?"

Without any hesitation, both my little soul mate and I nodded enthusiastically! Now, Peter rose from his chair and went to the back of the store. Soon, he returned, carrying a wooden box and a small tube. After sitting down, he first cleaned my boy's face with some cotton wool. Then, he took the small tube and gently applied some sticky paste onto my boy's face. Now, he opened the wooden box, and looked at the sketch while he started to model several small pieces of skin-colored clay onto my boy's face, one by one.

In the meantime, my boy looked into a nearby mirror and watched everything Peter did. Now and then, he directed Peter, telling him what he thought could be done better. Peter always listened to him and casually accepted his advice. Slowly, my boy's burnt face started to change, while Peter put more and more pieces of skin-colored clay onto its sticky surface, until they both were satisfied.

Finally, my boy turned around to let John and me have a look at his remodeled face. Both John and I felt truly astonished, and stared open-mouthed at what looked like a brand new boy!

In amazement, we stared at a 'normal' eight-year-old boy with a cute pug nose, slightly stuffed cheeks, and nicely formed lips. The transition was more than surprising. Peter had done an amazing job! Again, I couldn't help getting tears in my eyes, while my boy's new face beamed with pride, basking in our surprise and joy.

Suddenly, my boy got tears in his eyes, but quickly suppressed his sobs. Abruptly, he turned back to the mirror to have another look at his new face. He sat down and studied his new features again. Tentatively, he tried to remodel his new nose some more.

Smilingly, Peter warned his little client:

"Be careful, because it is only clay and will come off easily. This is only an indication of how your mask will look when it's finished. Your new nose will be slightly bigger, and your lips will look even more natural when the final mask is ready and covers your burns."

Almost reluctantly, my boy left the mirror and rose from his chair. Suddenly, he jumped up at Peter and threw his small arms around Peter's neck! Peter started to color a deep red, while he held my boy close to his chest and tentatively kissed his unruly blond hair.

After my boy left Peter's neck, he sniffled:

"Thank you very much, Peter, for giving me my real face back. Finally, I will look normal again!"

"You are very welcome," Peter responded, still blushing.

"Uh oh..." my boy suddenly muttered, looking a bit worried. He squatted down and fished a piece of modeled nose from the floor. Hesitantly, he showed it to Peter, unsure about how his new friend would react. However, Peter only reassured him:

"That is no problem, because it's only clay. Now, we will remove all of the sticky substance, and I will make a nice mold of your unclad face to be able to create your final rubber mask."

Working closely together, Peter and little Harry first removed all the colored clay. Then, Peter cleaned my boy's face from the sticky stuff, using a couple of cotton swabs. He took a bottle of yellowish oil from a shelf, and gently applied a thin layer to my boy's entire face. Now, he told his little client to wait for him, while he went to the back of the store. After a few minutes, Peter returned with a towel, a spatula, and a container of greenish paste. He put everything onto the table, and quickly fetched an adjustable stool from a corner.

Smiling at his young client, Peter asked him:

"Could you please sit on this stool, stay motionless for a few minutes, and breathe only through your nose?"

Little Harry nodded and enthusiastically clambered onto the stool. Peter adjusted its height, until our proudly grinning boy towered over all of us. He also draped a towel around my boy's neck and shoulders, obviously to keep his clothes clean.

Then, Peter took the container, and told his little client:

"Could you now please close your eyes and your mouth, breathe only through your nose, and sit still for a few minutes, until the paste will be hardened and I can take the mold off of your face?"

My boy nodded and closed his eyes, and Peter immediately started to apply the greenish paste all over his face. All the time, our brave little soldier sat upright like a statue, while he underwent Peter's ministrations as a real professional. He only flinched a little bit when Peter put two drinking straws into his nostrils, before covering his entire nose and mouth with the greenish paste.

Five minutes later, Peter carefully peeled the hardened paste off my boy's oily face, and told him:

"That will be all for today, and you may wash your face in the sink at the back of the store."

Slowly, my boy opened his eyes, while he squinted at the bright lamplight. Then, he jumped off the stool and raced towards the back of the store, to wash his oily face and drink some water.

While waiting for his little client to return, Peter talked to us. He told us he loved his work very much, especially the part where he was able to help disfigured or malformed people live a more normal life.

After my boy returned, Peter showed him the greenish negative impression of his face and told him:

"From this negative mold, I am going to make an exact copy of your burnt face, as a help to model your final mask. Within two days, your flexible rubber mask will be ready, and it will make you look like a newborn boy."

Then, Peter turned around and told me:

"Sir, I want to compliment you with such a wonderful son!"

"Yes, I agree, and I am very proud of my brave little soldier."

My happy looking boy beamed even more, while he threw his arms around my waist and told me:

"Thank you, Dad, for everything. I love you very, very much, and I am very proud of you too!"

Next, my boy threw his arms around Peter's waist, and told him:

"Thank you too, Peter, for helping me. The very moment I saw you, I KNEW you would be the right person!"

Peter blushed again, while he lifted my boy off the floor to give him a quick hug. Little Harry offered him a big kiss on his cheek in return, making Peter blush even more.

Then, we made an appointment to return in two days. Peter named his price, and I immediately agreed. Of course, I would happily pay twice the amount, to help my boy have a brand new face! We shook hands, said our good-byes, and went outside where we returned to our old car and buckled up, feeling a bit strange but very happy.

I started our car's engine and we drove off, waving at Peter until we disappeared around the corner. We all seemed to feel a bit overwhelmed and were very quiet. This time, both boys just stared out the windows, without their normal bantering. Only John spoke to me from time to time, to tell me where I had to go to find Jack's supermarket, in a slightly bigger town not far from here.

One time, my little soul mate threw his small arms around my neck from behind and told me:

"Sorry, Dad, for involuntarily calling you 'Dad'. It just slipped out of my mouth, but I really wish you WERE my Dad!"

Getting tears in my eyes, I almost choked up from my suddenly overwhelming feelings of love and happiness. Furtively, I wiped my tears away with a sleeve of my shirt, while trying to keep my eyes on the road. I had LOVED it when my boy called me 'Dad', and I secretly hoped he would go on with it forever!

While patting his small arms that still were around my neck, I told my boy, with a slightly quivery voice:

"I wish I could be your Dad! Perhaps, I could try to adopt you?"

"Would you really try to adopt me? Yes, Dad, PLEASE!"

Then, John's timid voice sounded from the rear of our car:

"Could you please try to adopt ME too? I would love you to be my Dad too... But you first have to turn to the right here!"

Of course, I would love John to be my adopted son too! Only, I was sure that Eric would never release his oldest son to me, unless that hateful man first smoked himself to death.

Soon, we drove into another town, where I tried to remember what John had told me. I was sure he had already given me the directions; but, at that time, I had been too busy feeling happy about my little soul mate calling me 'Dad'.

Feeling a bit embarrassed about my forgetfulness, I asked John:

"John? Where do I have to turn now, to the left or to the right?"

"Boy, you really are a forgetful old man! As I've already told you, just drive straight towards the next square."

This time, John was absolutely right about calling me a 'forgetful old man'. Feeling ashamed again, I drove to the next crossing, where I saw a huge parking square and an enormous supermarket. Happily, I turned our car into the already crowded square.

Of course, I first had to drive around while looking for an empty parking space. Fortunately, in front of us, one of the other visitors entered her car and drove off. Quickly, I raced towards the empty spot and backed our car into it.

Obviously, I was just in time, because somebody else had already been on his way to the same spot. The angry driver hit his horn a few times while glaring at us. Not wanting to provoke the angry looking man, I kept my eyes down; but my boys cheered while giving the other customer the finger! Trying to act as a good parent, I told them to stop with that; because, a next time, we could easily be the losers. That seemed to calm them down, at least for this moment.

After the angry customer drove away to look for another space, we left our car and I locked its doors. Only, what should we do now, with my so terribly burnt little soul mate? Of course, he still didn't want to show his 'freaky' face to all the curiously staring customers around us. Should we leave him in our car to wait for us, while John and I went inside to do some shopping?

Much to our surprise, my brave boy suddenly announced:

"I am coming with you."

Determinedly, he turned around, crossed the parking lot all on his own, and went towards the automatically opening sliding doors!

John and I looked at each other with stunned faces, while hastily trotting after our brave little soldier. Obviously, Jack, had really been right about my boy coming out of his shell and leaving his fears behind! Only, would my boy be strong enough to withstand all those curious looks and witty remarks?

Several people had already stopped dead in their tracks and stared in obvious surprise at my boy's terribly burnt face, while furtively whispering and nudging each other...

17. The supermarket and a psychic medium.

John and I trotted after our brave little soldier, who already went through the magically opening sliding doors and disappeared in the crowded supermarket without looking back. Again, we felt truly amazed and very proud of our burnt boy, but also a little bit wary. How would my boy react to seeing the stunned looks of all the curiously staring people around him?

While we entered the sliding doors, we saw many surprised looking customers already pointing at him. How would he react to seeing their piercing stares and hearing their rude comments?

After taking a couple of steps inside, my boy suddenly stopped and started to look around. At the same moment, John grabbed my hand and squeezed it from nervousness. Feeling a bit nervous too, I squeezed John's hand back, while I thought about how I would react if any onlooker would try to harass my boy.

While John and I held our breaths, our brave little friend slowly turned around, as if looking for us. Would he want to ask John and me to bring him back to our car, to hide his burnt face for all those staring strangers? Much to our surprise, the moment my boy saw John and me, he came racing up to us with a very happy face!

Stopping in front of us, he held up his hand and asked:

"Can I please have a coin? I want to drive our shopping cart."

In total surprise, John and I stared at each other, both feeling very relieved. While John released my hand and started to chuckle from the sudden anticlimax, I fished my wallet out of my pocket, grabbed a coin, and offered it to my impatiently waiting boy.

Happily, my boy took the coin, galloped to a pile of shopping carts, and adeptly unlocked one. Enthusiastically, he drove it towards the entrance and entered the isles, followed by John and me.

Again, several startled customers stopped dead in their tracks and stared in wonder at the little boy with such a strange looking face. Other customers hastily looked away, obviously trying not to be caught gawking at such a terribly burnt child.

However, my brave boy only smiled at them, lifted his hand in a greeting gesture, and waved at his surprised onlookers! A couple of gawking customers hesitantly waved back at him, and he seemed to feel elated by getting so much extra attention.

With a surprising maturity, his deep baritone voice told them:

"Don't look at my outside, but look at my inside, to see who I really am. I am proud of myself! Are you proud of yourself too?"

Some customers looked ashamed, shook their heads in disbelief, and hastily shuffled away. Others giggled, didn't know what to do, and just walked away to start shopping. A small girl looked at my boy and happily smiled at him, until her worried looking mother grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the isles.

Then, a tall man with a heavy beard stepped towards my boy and smiled approvingly. While playfully tousling my boy's unruly blond hair, the man told him:

"That's my boy! Always be proud of yourself, and I am sure you will achieve many wonderful things in your life!"

"Thank you, sir; and, since this morning, I AM proud of myself!"

Still smiling at the bearded man, my boy pushed our cart forward and headed for the first isle. There, he took a couple of vegetables and a bag of potatoes, and put them into our cart. He went to another isle, took a carton of eggs and a packet of sliced cheese, and added them. He went to an enormous cooler, looked at me for approval, and took a huge fillet of fresh salmon to add it to his cart. Then, he pushed our cart towards the next aisle, while John and I joined him.

Working together, we started to fill our cart with all the foodstuffs we thought we needed to survive the upcoming week. Every time, little Harry took the eggs and other breakable things and placed them on top of the other stuff. He and John also added several useful extra's I had never thought of while I lived alone and cooked my own simple meals. Clearly, I wasn't used yet to shopping for a new household with two growing boys and their bottomless stomachs.

Now and then, a few customers stopped next to our cart and stared at little Harry with curious eyes. Because they didn't really bother us, we tried to ignore them and just went on shopping. Little Harry himself didn't pay any attention to the curious onlookers, because he was way too busy collecting several useful household utensils. A new can opener, a packet of toothpicks, a handy garlic press, a peculiar egg timer, a couple of small kitchen knifes, and so on. Happily, he walked back and forth between our cart and the different isles, ignoring everybody around him, and obviously enjoying his shopping experience very much!

Steadily, our shopping cart filled up more and more until, at last, it became too heavy for my boy alone and John had to help his little brother push it forward. Finally, we had gathered all the edible stuff and other useful things we thought we could need for our small household. Our shopping cart was filled to the brim, and neither my boys nor I could think of anything else to add.

Helped by John who pulled at its front, little Harry pushed and steered our heavy cart towards the crowded cash registers, where we joined one of the already waiting lines. Several other customers were ahead of us, so we had to wait for our turn.

Two young girls had followed us for quite some time, all the time giggling while staring at our burnt boy. So far, they hadn't really bothered us or our brave little soldier. Therefore, John and I just tried to ignore them. Now, they were waiting behind us, still staring at my boy with his badly burnt face while furtively nudging each other.

Suddenly, they started to giggle and point at little Harry:

"Look at such a weird face! His parents should have drown him at his birth! What kind of strange creature is this? The freaks have landed. Hey, little alien, you are on the wrong planet!"

Angrily, John swooped around, with a murderous look in his suddenly fire-shooting eyes! He balled his fists, growled, and determinedly stomped towards the still snickering girls.

Fortunately, just before John could murder both girls, the tall man with his heavy beard came up to us. He stopped John just in time, by grabbing his arm and pushing him back into the waiting line. Next, he turned towards the suddenly paling girls. He took both girls by their ear lobes and dragged them towards the exit, where he pushed them through the magically opening sliding doors.

Before they hastily disappeared, the bearded man lectured them:

"Don't let me see you here ever again! Maybe, you may come back when you have a better understanding of the words 'compassion' and 'respect'. This young boy has a lot more humanity in his soul than both of you combined will ever be able to muster!"

Several waiting customers started to applaud spontaneously, even from the other lines! They also complimented the beard